Dear Iran: Elf Wax needs you to give your life for the greatest cause. . . .
Pirates have released an automatically-validating, automatically-updating edition of Windows 7. Those giving bastards! . . .
Our existence is destined to funnel into a black hole of data, in which all 1s become 0s. Google enslaves mankind, only to erase it. Why, Google? . . .
Playstation Network is the new face of hate in this week’s edition of The Elf Wax Times. How will Sony handle the cries for help? . . .
This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government. . . .
Is slaughtering innocents enough to help us win the fight against Terror? You decide, on level three. . . .
In a world where everyone thinks they own your mind, and infinitely more harmful substances than cannabis are legal, Andrew Carroll had the wherewithal and righteousness to stick it to The Man, and you can listen in as the hero tells his story of standing up for his own mind tonight at 8 . . .
The Elf Wax Times toils into the wee hours of the morning to bring you part one in an unlimited-part series: VOTE DOWN THE INTERNET, HAIL THE ELF WAX TIMES . . .