Happy Festivus From The Elf Wax Times!

Let it be known that The Elf Wax Times actually posted something on Christmas. We are paid in pure, uncut cocaine. . . .

Internet addiction ‘doubles teen self harm’

China has conducted a very unbiased survey of a small group of Communism-loving teenagers who find themselves victimized by the Internet. . . .

Help, I’ve swallowed a fishhook!

OH MY GOD WHAT I HAVE DONE!!!1 PLZ HELP ME PLEEEZ!!!! BR? GIBE MONEY PLZ, WTS HEAVY AXE (lol n00bz) . . .

“Yes, I did, because I got hit with snowballs.”

Going Vogue: On Ideology

Easily one of the strangest attributes of watching Congress is the sense that, whatever one’s perspective, the only way that meaningful change could ever truly come about would be a total lack of moderation. It is for this reason that the ad nauseum complaints about partisanship – and, indeed, the credit so . . .

STAY INDOORS! DEADLY GEMINID METEOR SHOWER TONIGHT

Apocalypse or gift from the Heavens? You decide after we give you one hyper-delusional side of this annual story of Gemini’s Wrath. . . .

Eleven dead after release of new McDonald’s “food product”

Micky D’s Darkest Day: McDonald’s claims thousands of lives every year using diabetes, malnutrition and obesity, but today was different. . . .

AFP: Show Thrown at the Shoe Thrower