Happy Festivus From The Elf Wax Times!

Let it be known that The Elf Wax Times actually posted something on Christmas. We are paid in pure, uncut cocaine. …MOAR!

Internet addiction ‘doubles teen self harm’

China has conducted a very unbiased survey of a small group of Communism-loving teenagers who find themselves victimized by the Internet. …MOAR!

Help, I’ve swallowed a fishhook!

OH MY GOD WHAT I HAVE DONE!!!1 PLZ HELP ME PLEEEZ!!!! BR? GIBE MONEY PLZ, WTS HEAVY AXE (lol n00bz) …MOAR!

“Yes, I did, because I got hit with snowballs.”

Going Vogue: On Ideology

Easily one of the strangest attributes of watching Congress is the sense that, whatever one’s perspective, the only way that meaningful change could ever truly come about would be a total lack of moderation. It is for this reason that the ad nauseum complaints about partisanship – and, indeed, the credit …MOAR!

STAY INDOORS! DEADLY GEMINID METEOR SHOWER TONIGHT

Apocalypse or gift from the Heavens? You decide after we give you one hyper-delusional side of this annual story of Gemini’s Wrath. …MOAR!

Eleven dead after release of new McDonald’s “food product”

Micky D’s Darkest Day: McDonald’s claims thousands of lives every year using diabetes, malnutrition and obesity, but today was different. …MOAR!

AFP: Show Thrown at the Shoe Thrower