Anti-hate protest results in ‘no additional love’

The Elf Wax Times goes deep into fake hippie territory to bring you a startling exposé of despicable fear-sheep who respond better to Facebook groups than true injustices. . . .

Movie Chase Scene Escalates To Rooftop

A viewer watching the events unfold told the Times, “It’s like nothing [he'd] ever seen before,” adding that he had not seen many action films. . . .

New study links marijuana to hunger, passivity

We were going to write an excerpt for this story but then Rasta-man totally forgot what it was about so we grilled cheese sandwiches and let the intern worry about it. . . .

Elf Wax Thought Crimes

Miami, Fl.–Journey through yourself in man’s quest for the chaos generator. Read more to find out who, if anyone, plucks the strings of existence. Elf Wax psychoanalysts are standing by. . . .