ELF WAX TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

The Elf Wax Times’ team of political analysts project that the publication’s platform of drug use, videogames and name-calling will be all the evidence voters need to make the right decision in 2012. . . .

VOTING DOES NOT MATTER

There are many people who will say I am the ignorant one, to encourage voter apathy. To that, I say: I encourage voting; only with guns. . . .

2_2 Escapee of North Korea’s brutal prison camp tells his horrifying story

How to fail college

The Elf Wax Times gives you kids a sneak peak of what it’s like to squander an opportunity and look cool doing it. FUCK SCHOOL! GET SCHWASTED! . . .

Thank you Atahualpa

Atahualpa crosses the Spanish border to decriminalize PHP but net neutrality concessions require that he buy a hi-speed lane to maintain industry clout. . . .

Slumhouse Five

A snowed-in christmas eve leads to sharing an orange between pals. . . .

Lockerbie CIA framing Libya 6/6

BEAST calling: Ted Angle!

MACHINE MADE MACHINES TO MAKE ALL FUTURE FOOD AND MACHINES

Humans are done. . . .

Changing The World For The Better