Categories
Entertainment Technology новости

Roadblock

I’ve got those PS3 loadin’ screen blues you see!

God damn PS3, damn what won’t you do to me?

Oh lordy may what will ya do today,

To disrupt my flow of gameplay?

Why don’t you fuckin’ update, PS3?

Categories
Religion новости

I'm waiting

I’d say darkness is the best place for me. Or under a blue light, because it sets my mood – or rather, plays to it. Add to that a selection of music from a girl, by a girl I fancied.

Like a slice of heaven so thin she melts in your mouth, and so into you that you just don’t think it’s real. It sends shivers down your spine to know that she listens for your car door to slam to come running.

She played me this song tonight. And I will not find her, seek her out, or try to make my way in. I’ll quietly observe from the outside this time. That way the apes don’t eat me.

Categories
Local Sports новости

Tennessee Man: "I once punctuated a whole sentence"

Jacob Tamme is a TIGHT PUSSY
Harold Buckhauer, punctuated a sentence one time

Nashville, Tenn.–An area Titans fan made headlines Sunday when he held up a sign reading “Jacob Tamme is a tight pussy” at a home game against the Indianapolis Colts in LP Field.

Jacob Tamme plays tight end for the Indianapolis Colts, and rejects all assertions that he is a human vagina “of any elasticity or resistance.”

Harold Buckhauer, 30, held the sign up high for at least three hours, chanting the slogan. He was beloved by his neighboring spectators, and even hailed as a hero by one man who said he believes Buckhauer’s message “needed to be said.” The man reportedly purchased Buckhauer three beers to provoke more outlandish drunken behavior, such as singing with one foot up on the back of the chair in front of him, a claim he denies.

Language scholars have jumped on the sensation to condemn the Tennessee Titans enthusiast for his gross lack of punctuation that leaders claim “contradicts” the presentation of the man’s clever idea in the context of his drunkenly-constructed sign.

Buckhauer, a plumber of 10 years’ experience, defended himself, saying, “I once punctuated a whole sentence,” but intimated his distrust of “funny” characters on a page, saying he doesn’t know why it exists anyway.

[pullquote]”Harold-Hymen ain’t never used no hyphen.”[/pullquote]

When questioned about a rare, documented instance where Buckhauer attempted punctuation, he failed to recall whether it was a period or an exclamation mark he used, because memory of his mistake was immediately overshadowed by the “distinct” memory of his friends using a rhyming female anatomical word to describe him as “Harold-Hymen, who ain’t never used no hyphen.”

A string of Google searches reveals the “punctuation” to which Buckhauer referred was used on a wrestling forum, and was not punctuation at all, but capitalization. In 2009, Buckhauer wrote, “batista is purdy good but he aint gt shit on the Edge”

Cecil Dillard, pastor of Midrow Baptist Church defended Harold Buckhauer’s lifestyle, devoid of punctuation, saying, “Harry’s a trustworthy, God-fearing American who don’t need no punctuation because it ain’t holy. Punctuation is misleading, saying things that letters don’t. Now do you want your kids to read punctuation, or do you want ’em reading the truth?” he asked, tapping the Bible.

This message is brought to you by Lebal Drocer, and:

“Now do you want your kids to read punctuation, or do you want ’em reading the truth?”

-Cecil Dillard, Pastor