Spending half my time in the shower destroying evidence that I wiped our bar of soap across my mane of pubic hair. Worrying that when I smile someone believes I think I’m better than them.
I don’t get why we gotta be using these damn computers anyway. Especially if some jerkoff kids are gonna be hackin’ into my webcam and watchin’ me all hours of the night.
Orderin’ illegal gun modifications that I HAVE A RIGHT TO from the 2nd amendment is great, but what good does it do ME . . .
Chronicle.SU hired an independent chemistry lab to test food products for dangerous chemicals. When the lab results came back, we were forced to completely reevaluate our individual diets.
The lab tests showed that nearly 80% of all food consumed by . . .
Murder-Mom Casey Anthony goes to war against large-tittied Kim Kardashian, who said the gorgeous and camera-friendly Casey Anthony killed her own photogenic baby. We got your attention yet? Obama wants to go to war with Libya. . . .
Our bitcoin address is 1PpkFjUeCUc2gJmCVuw79zGQTKjzEWG8yr
None of your donations will be used for web hosting costs or prudent investments. We promise to blow every last coin on the Silk Road. It will fuel our “unhinged” and insane rants, providing you with that much more entertainment. We need your bitcoins more than ever. Times are tough, . . .
Today, LulzSec released a manifesto on PasteBin outlining a more sophisticated set of motives. Like all posts on PasteBin, to trust it would be idiotic. It was the thousandth tweet spectacular, and the Lulz forever died. Us Lulz Lizards at Chronicle.SU would like to weigh in on these lofty statements from our pirate . . .
Yet another Chronicle staffer drops out of the Internet . . .
LulzSec sailed their LulzBoat into public waters today and Chronicle.SU reached them for comment. “Welcome to the bot-net!” exclaimed the limey young hackers. “You jelly of AnonNews, Chronicle?” . . .