axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
News

Thanks for ruining #OccupyWallStreet, Michael Moore

THIS SHOULD CREEP YOU OUT

For some reason Occupy protesters love to chase off politicians but not Michael Fucking Moore. Have they lost their minds? Nothing would convince me sooner that Occupy Wall Street is liberal astroturf than Michael Moore’s involvement. Michael Moore is fucking pissed off that he couldn’t get a moneyshot with cannister-skull Scott Olsen in the hospital while getting flashbanged by a fake Hollywood cop. Michael Moore took his private jet to Oakland just for that opportunity to ruin everything for everyone forever. He looks like Jabba the fucking Hutt! GTFO!!!!

In livestreaming the events of Occupy Wall Street, it is clearly evident that many of the protesters are acting like victims for the cameras. At this point, it’s pretty much like shitty reality television for the internet. The people are throwing tantrums for the cameras, chanting “The whole world is watching,” and “Shame! Shame! Shame!” when the police interfere with their differently interpreted freedom of assembly which I assume is the only thing they’ve really decided on protesting for sure.

The human microphone is a sadly ironic and creepy idea. The crowd shouts “Not because of a leader” only after Michael Moore implicitly orders them to repeat it. The applications of the human microphone for mind control are staggering and real. Do not participate in the human microphone. You may fall prey to the subtle mind control and resultant groupthink which is dangerous to your individuality.

The police officers resent this farce, as they do not care to be drawn into a shitty communist reality television show designed for the internet. They may take careful aim with that tear gas cannister or enjoy cracking a skull just that little bit more. Violence is mounting! Stay tuned internets, this next police crackdown might spike that google trend back up to new heights. Someone might die!

The protesters claim to shout their name to the cameras for “legal reasons” when they get arrested. Lebal Drocer’s cocainedlawyers assure us that screaming your name on camera for the livefeed is just a piece of meaningless drama. Please don’t shout your fucking name.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
Hate

The Lebal Drocer, Incorporated

 


Motherfuckers at the NBC
Don’t know how hard it is bein’ me.
All I wanna do is a drink a little, talk a little,
And fuck myself free.
God damn motherfuckers at the NBC
Censorin’ me.

All I am is God,
All I am is wrong
All I am is Cheech
I am Tommy Chong.
To each his own
Far-reaching
Internet government
Subservient clone.
FUCK YOU.
I am the one
I am the son
Of benevolence won.
I am the antichrist
purveyor
betrayer
I am the gun.
FUCK YOU.
I'm not some confounding
[you know who]
some loud-talking resounding
asshole like you.
NBC: I am me.
And I say
Fuck you.

This just in:

At least four high level Lebal Drocer Senior Executives are suspected of embezzling a total four and a half billion dollars from investors since 2007. [pullquote]

I am the antichrist

-Raleigh

[/pullquote]Authorities allege Raleigh Sakers, Lebal Drocer CEO, spearheaded the operation one day when he ran out of batteries for a personal voice recorder, which he never turned off. Ever.
These allegations, Sakers contended, are untrue.

If convicted, Raleigh T. Sakers, better known as the Transcendental Man, faces life in prison with no opportunity for parole. However, sources say this is nothing new. In 1987, Sakers was sentenced to ten years in prison for vehicular manslaughter when he was found guilty of intentionally running over a best friend in a brand new Mercedes E Class sedan.

Owner and proprietor of Lebal Drocer Holdings, Sakers enjoys a life of luxury and wealth through corporate sponsorships garnered from chronicle.su, the Elf Wax Times, totallyfalse.info and presstorm.com. Insiders, whose names which journalistic integrity compels us never to share, told chronicle reporters presstorm.com is an asset Sakers chose to let dissolve after its leadership self-immolated during the summer of 2011.

Sakers reportedly said, “I don’t give a fuck if it’s just one person. She isn’t doing a housewife’s work,” before slamming a door on the hand of his youngest daughter Mita, who is five and screamed out in angst when Sakers told the girl he “did that on purpose.”

Prayers of the chronicle.su staff and undoubtedly the entirety of her readership go out to Raleigh Theodore Sakers in his time of trouble. We would also like to recognize Pepsi Co., Starbucks, Genocide and NATO for all of their efforts in our similar quest for capital. Godspeed, and amen.

Amen.

axisflip cryptofinancial

Categories
News

A call to the Tea Party: Clean up #InfestWallStreet

The Occupy (Infest) movement has taken its first serious blow in Oakland, California. Tuesday morning, peace officers protected the city from this Infestation by firing off tear gas bombs while the Marxist sinners slept, sedated by heroin and marijuana. This destructive and hateful element was removed from the streets and arrested, and if there was any justice in this country, they would face capital punishment for high treason.

Mayor Bloomberg should take a lesson from the inspired leadership in Oakland and clean the rats and cockroaches that look like humans out of Zucotti Park. These disgusting dregs of “humanity” are not exercising their freedom of speech, they are abusing it. If Infest Wall Street got what they wanted, everyone in America would have free food and access to illegal drugs. America is becoming the next Sodom and Gomorrah.

Innocent children have witnessed horrific sights at the Infestation on Wall Street including public gay sex, widespread heroin use, urination, defecation, and vulgar signs promoting Marxism. Not only that, but this allegedly “peaceful” protest has turned violent as members of the Infestation attack innocent riot police who are only trying to maintain order. One “protester” surprised a group of female police officers by firing pepper spray into their faces.

Since local governments have been craven and cowardly, good Americans look to the Tea Party for a solution to this outbreak of social cancer. Please, if you are a good member of the Tea Party or a Great American, now is the time to step up and make a stand against Evil in today’s world. You are chemo. They are cancer.