Slaughter Claus: Yet another ingenious Charles Cullen masterpiece

Self-styled genius, Charles Cullen, on the set of Slaughterclaus

Thursday, fans came out to the Grandin Theater to catch the premiere of Charles Cullen’s low budget holiday horror, Slaughter Claus. Among them, Chronicle.SU film expert Ronny Nitro was on hand to offer his in-depth insight into the mind of Charles Cullen.

After paying . . .

SHOENICE

shoenice

Meet Shoenice, the man who force-fed laughter into the hearts and minds of all people everywhere. . . .

Miley Cyrus announces she is pregnant at press conference in Los Angeles

Teen idol and Hanna Montana star, Miley Cyrus, announced today that she is two months pregnant with Australian actor Liam Hemsworth’s child. Cyrus held a special press conference in Los Angeles, taking time to emphasize the importance of safe sex and abstinence for teens. When asked by a reporter if her pregnancy was planned, Cyrus . . .

Maddox: The biggest pussy in the universe

George Ouzounian, failed blogger and former telemarketer, recently released his second book, I am Better than your Kids. For the past few years, Ouzounian has pored over thousands of children’s drawings to find the worst examples for this new book, which basically sucks dick. Maddox, as he is also known, is himself a terrible . . .

PC038921

A strong conviction

CHRONICLE.SU DEFEATS TH3J35T3R

thejester

Everything the Jester was once known for has been taken away. He has been castrated by Apache developers, posted an embarrassing music video encompassing his feelings toward small children, and is now shitting himself in fear of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated. The wolves are closing in. . . .