Month: March 2012

Categories
Entertainment News

Lady GaGa diagnosed with brain cancer

Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga has been diagnosed with brain cancer.

LOS ANGELES – It is our sad duty to report American pop idol Lady Gaga has been diagnosed with brain cancer.

A Saturday announcement confirmed physicians discovered what has been called an “inoperable” malignant tumor in the brain of Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, perhaps known better as Lady Gaga, after the singer complained of feeling more run down and fatigued than usual.

Lady Gaga is being treated at the Cedars-Sinai medical institution. She thanked her fans for their support in this difficult time, encouraging everyone to “stay strong,” reassuring the public she “will persevere.”

Germanotta’s agent requested media and fans to contact Lady Gaga, as usual, care of her record labels, Def Jam Records, and Interscope.

Lady Gaga stopped using cell phones two years ago because of paranoia that they might cause brain cancer. Saturday’s news indicates she may not have stopped soon enough.

There has been no word yet as to whether the Born This Way Ball Tour (on The Road To Love) will continue as scheduled.

Categories
Editorial

State of the Internet address

People can’t really do anything meaningful without the media labeling it. People can’t have a loud enough voice without being labeled a “spokesperson.” (see: Bob Dylan of the 1960s)

See also: Moralfag Anonymous decidedly fucked

Identifying every single thing that happens with a keyword destroys any value it might have accrued on an Internet flooded with “news” blogs whose sole purpose is to sell advertising space. We should know. Look to the right –>

anonymous
Alex Jones stole this to use at disinfo.org

You can’t find an informative, well-written article about something anymore because it has been totally buried by ignorance, or worse – pure disinformation – contained in forty five thousand pages “optimized” for search engines.

The spread of information doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. A poisonous ideology will often spread faster than a useful one. For example, the idea that Anonymous, by its very “nature,” can’t be corrupted was so absurd, we just had to report on it. Remember Sabu? Arrested June 7th: Check ’em.

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“It’s become an awful disease.”

Kilgore Trout, legendary inventor of Anon Porn, now known as “Sexy Fawkes”

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As a satire site, the chronicle.su is compelled to produce disinformation culture faster than society can arrive at it naturally, just to prove that it’s possible, just because we can.

So, keep at it Internet. We’re always right behind you . . . or a step ahead of you.

Frank Mason
Editor, chronicle.su

Categories
Hate

Barrett Brown’s Project Persona Management

Human being or computer simulation?

From a cramped cgi apartment littered with nothing but Ayn Rand, Barrett Brown orchestrates the downfall of oppressive regimes with Project PM, short for Persona Management. Using a highly sophisticated array of thousands of fake online identities, Brown’s project destabilizes government and foments rebellion across the Middle East.

While closely working with Aaron Barr, Brown was able to remove all the good stuff from the HBGary leak, which explains the lack of evidence about rampant corruption. The government is the only entity with pockets deep enough to pull off such an elaborate plot, and it follows that Brown is ultimately under their pay.

Brown’s close association with Sabu immediately raised questions among his supporters within Anonymous. Thousands of Twitter accounts unfollowed him out of pure suspicion. @Anonymously27 said, “There’s no reason to ever trust Barrett Brown ever again. If he’s not been turned, everyone around him has.”

Experts agree, Barrett Brown was actually never turned by the FBI. He’s always worked for them.