US GOVERNMENT detaining anyone who calls them fascist

Accusatory reporters are being arrested to prove how fascist the government is not becoming

Accusatory reporters are being arrested to prove how fascist the government is not becoming. . . .

Nutritionist declares recent poop a success

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur enjoyed a “soft, but firm” poop Thursday.

In what might have otherwise been an uneventful bowel movement, Chronicle nutritionist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur noticed a peculiar softness and consistency in Thursday’s stool, such that he was moved to turn around and declare the specimen “a major success.”

“A . . .

Gamer retires from life as time consuming Diablo III career takes off

Diablo III

Jim Hannahan, pictured during his last known public appearance, smiles comfortably just outside the wretched clutches of a long and rewarding Diablo III career.

Roanoke, Va.– 28-year-old Kroger clerk Jim Hannahan stopped going into work when he realized being a cashier at the supermarket was not only beneath a level 60 Legendary . . .

Taco Bell employee derives pleasure from serving you

my pleasure

Only masochists eat and work at Taco Bell . . .

Fireworks dot com

Well kiddos, I’ve been to both HELL and HEAVEN, so here’s what I have to report. Listen up, because this is important!

Anonymous is NOT the “final boss” of the Internet. The Internet is actually NOT a video game. If you take everything you read seriously, you might end up starting a cult. Starting cults . . .

A Song of Ice and Fire Conclusion Leaked by UGNazi

Anonymous hackers from UGNazi have infiltrated Geroge R. R. Martin’s personal computer and found a rough draft of the next two installments in the Song of Ice and Fire series made famous by the HBO Game of Thrones Series. I have had the pleasure of reading these manuscripts in full. Spoilers are as follow:

Jon . . .

Luka Rocco Magnotta framed by enemies

Luka Magnotta wrongly accused by Canadian authorities

Canadian police: “It’s just disgusting . . . that someone [deleted] would [deleted] frame [deleted] Magnotta . . . who obviously [loved] his victim.” . . .

th3j35t3r brings the heat down on Wounded Warriors

UGNazi's leader: Dana White?

Self-styled “Patriot hacktivist for good,” th3j35t3r, has famously used his platform as a criminal vigilante to solicit donations for the Wounded Warrior Project. The Wounded Warrior Project came under attack early Friday morning from a possible Anonymous splinter group known as UGNazi, which insistently denies any . . .