Readers Vow to Be Faithful to Leadership of Raghubir Goyal

CHRONICLE READERSHIP PLEDGES UNDYING ALLEGIANCE TO RAGHUBIR GOYAL

CHRONICLE.SU – THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE AS RAGHUBIR GOYAL ASSUMES TOTAL CONTROL OF INTERNET HATE SITE CHRONICLE.SU – PRAISE INGLIP! …MOAR!

James Holmes on Paid Leave amid Internal Investigation of Colorado Theater Shooting

James Holmes

Holmes (above) does not give a fuck.

AURORA, COLO. – Moviegoer James Holmes, an Aurora resident, says he is the victim of a “witch hunt” and wants to go back to work, even though he’s being paid $60,000 a year to stay home while police investigate a shooting spree Holmes allegedly took …MOAR!

From Internet Chronicle archives: ‘The Real World of Virginia’

America

George Allen explains why ethnicities other than his own are important. …MOAR!

YOUTH AND STUDENTS HAIL NEWS EDITOR RAGHUBIR GOYAL

raghubir_goyal

RAGHUBIR GOYAL WAS ALWAYS TOGETHER WITH FRANKLIN D. MASON IN GUIDING THE MUJIHADEEN (LIBERATING RESISTANCE) REVOLUTION AS HIS CLOSEST REVOLUTIONARY COMRADE-IN-ARMS. …MOAR!

Humanity will not reach the stars

A virus of Reaganite gun freaks and nuke collectors seized control of our resources just to burn them up like Jesco White’s family in a good ol’ fashioned mall-ballin’ in the hot sun.

Ronald Reagan Shows ‘Em How It’s Done WATCH YOUR LEADERS EXPEND VALUABLE RESOURCES ON THE HEDONISTIC DESTRUCTION OF EVERYTHING YOU’LL EVER KNOW …MOAR!

Cotton Cameron denies 9/11

Cotton Cameron

Boy Scouts of America – Homophobic Fag Enablers Who Offend God

scout

I just won the Red Badge of Courage, for not crying as I bleed. …MOAR!

U.S. State Department to “Troll” Terrorists

Borrowing a classic move from The Internet Chronicle, the U.S. State Department is funding an initiative dubbed “Viral Peace,” which aims to “troll” online extremists out of positions of respect and power.

Led by Shahed Amanullah, Viral Peace uses “logic, humor, satire, [and] religious arguments, not just to confront [extremists], but to undermine and …MOAR!

Ivan fucking Stang descended directly from Joseph fucking Smith!

Reverend Ivan Stang’s secret lineage revealed by Lebal Drocer Investigative Journalists!

CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OHIO – Reverend Ivan Stang, also known as Doug Smith, founded the cult of “Bob,” a “satiric” “parody” (?) religion that has spawned thousands (?) of imitators (?) descended directly from Joseph Smith, founder of Mormonism and snake oil religion salesman. A …MOAR!

ROMNEY USES COCAINE; American People to Romney Campaign: Go For The Nostrils!

DENVER, COLO. — Americans were excited today about reports deep within the bowels of the Romney campaign that the former Massachusetts governor is ready to go after President Obama’s use of marawana and cocaine as a teenager.

“I mean, this is a guy who admitted to cocaine use,” says a Romney adviser to Buzzfeed, “had …MOAR!