‘Anonymous’ Idea Arrested

“You can’t arrest an idea”~Topiary

INTERNET — Thursday, Anonymous, the idea, was arrested by the U.S. Government. Tired of butthurt countercultural types touting such a smug slogan, Anonymous imagery was symbolically “imprisoned” at Guantanamo Bay. “We just wanted to show those kids that, yes, we can arrest an idea. We’ve arrested every single one of . . .

Pokemon– MetaOracle ‘Deconstructed’

If this triggers a flood of memories and emotions, Pokemon may be a perfect oracle for you.

As man has now known for decades, the meaning of an oracle does not in fact derive from God, who may or may not exist, but rather from the act of interpretation. Pokemon, when used . . .

Romney Chooses Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal as Running Mate

Lousiana Governor Bobby Jindal, ex-Hindu, and Vice Presidential Pick

BOSTON, MASS. – Early Wednesday morning, Romney fans who signed up for the “Mitt’s VP” app received word that Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal would be the Republican Party’s vice presidential candidate.

Jindal’s racial background, says Council on Foreign Relations President Richard Haas, was . . .

Saudi Embassy: Bandar bin Sultan Is Not Dead

WASHINGTON – A public affairs official at the Saudi embassy in the United States informs The Internet Chronicle that Bandar bin Sultan, the Saudi Arabian intelligence chief, is not dead.

On July 29 French journalist Thierry Meyssan’s Voltaire Network reported, “Though not yet announced by the Saudi authorities, the death of Prince . . .

Good News and Bad News

Killed Your Parents!

No bedtime! . . .

Breaking News! Beefrave returns to Chronicle, it’s like the Berlin Wall!

Today, Beefrave returned to the Chronicle with a veiled apology for deleting our entire fucking database.

We were all over that shit, and we have been for years. When you’re THIS important, you have to plan for everything.

That’s right, the Jester’s on our case and our Illuminati Insider went rogue, and we had . . .

Shoenice commits suicide

shoenice

Shoenice, the famous viral stunt-eating YouTube sensation, has died from ingesting a whole bag of rat poison in under 30 seconds. The video of his suicide has been removed from YouTube, but the footage above shows a manic fit posted just hours before the suicide video. A transcript of the suicide has already surfaced . . .

Your Anonymous, Incorporated–First Decentralized, Leaderless Corporation

—PRESS RELEASE DEC 21, 2012—

From the office of the PROPHETIC viral Christmas Day (!) ANNOUNCER of Sabu’s status as an FBI informant and agent provocateur comes the NEXT BEST THING!

Your (!) Anonymous Incorporated

YOUR ANONYMOUS INCORPORATED ANNOUNCES ITS FIRST INITIAL PUBLIC OFFERING, SURE TO ASTOUND TECH INVESTORS ALL . . .

CHRONICLE.SU ON THE COUNTERATTACK

CHRONICLE LEADERSHIP IS UNMOVED BY U.S. AGGRESSION TOWARD INVINCIBLE WEBSITE

SOVCHRON – U.S. authorities are assisting each other in a common goal: to commit politically-motivated cybercrimes against the chronicle.su. . . .