Former Southern Baptists Sue Church Over Misrepresented Donations

The Southern Baptist Fortified Super Church looms over its flock.

“The church, under the leadership of David Miscavige, has strayed from its founding principles, the lawsuit claims, “and no longer stands for the hatred and distrust of outside cultures that protect the family, God and the Bible.” …MOAR!

Christian Stork: The Megalomania of Aaron Swartz Prosecutor Carmen Ortiz

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Massachusetts District U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz (Courtesy: Wikipedia)

WASHINGTON — In a not-so-stirring defense of academic conglomerate JSTOR, U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz said of Aaron Swartz‘s offenses, “Stealing is stealing whether you use a computer command or a crowbar, and whether you …MOAR!

Giovanna Plowman, “Tampon Girl,” commits suicide at 15

“i’m the queen of the world. everyone loves me, and you guys will do whatever i want you guys to do (; cause i’m THAT famous! (;”

TAMPA, FLA. — Giovanna Plowman’s rise to fame was meteoric, but as she dazzled Internet denizens with feats of amazing fecundity, she also sowed the seeds of …MOAR!

The Meaning of Defense Department Co-opting of MLK

Air Force Global Strike Command Image Celebrating Martin King’s 83rd Birthday

WASHINGTON — Monday the Air Force Global Strike Command Programming Division published commentary claiming that slain civil rights leader and proponent of nonviolence Martin Luther King would be proud of a team commandeering the military’s nuclear-capable assets. The command’s ethnic, religious …MOAR!

US Air Force Global Strike Command Celebrates MLK Legacy of War Promotion

Martin Luther King, Jr. Might Understand Today’s Wars, Pentagon Lawyer Says

Commentary by Warren Ward Air Force Global Strike Command Programming Division

 

1/21/2013 - BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, La.  – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s 83rd birthday …MOAR!

Giovanna Plowman sucks on used tampon

jerotonin

INTERNET–Internet ‘Geek’ culture found a young new hero Monday in Giovanna Plowman. ‘Geek’, however, is used here in an archaic sense to describe those like the painters’ caulk chugging Shoenice, who recently overdosed and died in his video titled “OVER TWO POUNDS OF RAT POISON IN UNDER THIRTY SECONDS.”

Ms. Plowman is seen in this …MOAR!

Scientists to clone Neanderthal

Surrogate Mother Wanted

Harvard, MA–Harvard geneticist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador is looking for a surrogate mother for the world’s first Neanderthal clone. “She needs a robust frame and a highly elastic birth canal. These Neanderthal babies are serious business!”

In his ill-lit basement lab at Harvard, Dr. Troubador hovers over a microscope, sourrounded by …MOAR!

BREAKING: AT&T sells Newtown phone calls to NewsCorp, say Anonymous

Rupert Murdoch’s Newscorp purchased Sandyhook phone conversations for 7 million US dollars.

NEWTOWN CT–Anonymous activists, combing through AT&T’s e-mail servers, released evidence Sunday showing that recorded phone calls of grieving Sandyhook victims and families were sold to Rupert Murdoch’s NewsCorp for seven million US dollars.

The recordings were released by Anonymous as proof that …MOAR!

A Profile in Conservative Iconoclasm: Steven Stockman’s Journey Back to the House

WASHINGTON — Returning to the 113th Congress, for the first time since the late ’90s, is conservative iconoclast Steve Stockman (R-TX), who was one of only 10 Republican representatives this month to oppose the reappointment of John Boehner to the speakership.

Rep. Stockman’s uncompromising conservative position on the gamut of issues made him the subject …MOAR!

Lebal Drocer, Inc. Purchases Human Being

RICHMOND, VA. — “We just seen the opportunity, and I couldn’t pass it up. I had to own a slave,” said Internet Chronicle Publisher Frank Mason, speaking to clerical staff and press called to a conference at 1000 Monument Ave. With Jeff Schapiro from the Times-Dispatch busily taking notes, Mr. Mason continued, lamenting that he …MOAR!