Tom Ryan Spearheads Cyberwar on the DPRK

Under Armor Spokesman, @th3j35t3r Attacks North Korea

Under the moniker @th3j35t3r, a little-known Twitter account, Tom Ryan of Provide Security is currently gearing up for cyber war with North Korea, Anonymous in tow.

After a series of test runs against mom-and-pop DPRK websites, we see Tom Ryan, aka John Tiessen, as possessing the ability . . .

“Chumlee” of Pawn Stars arrested with seven pounds of marijuana

Police say his limousine driver was high from an immense, billowing cloud of secondhand marijuana smoke.

LAS VEGAS — Austin “Chumlee” Rustle, known widely for his employment at the famed Gold and Silver Pawn Shop featured on “History” Channel’s “Pawn Stars” Reality Television Show, was arrested Friday for possession of over seven pounds of . . .

Pope taking media joke “a little too far”

Pope Francis grovels Thursday at the hairy feet of a sub-human Muslim girl.

Top Cardinals at the Vatican said Pope Francis is “taking that whole ‘respecting the smallest and least-fortunate’ joke a little too far.”

The move has the Vatican PR Department worried the public has finally caught on to . . .

Business as usual following #rustleleague disorder

Some #rustleleague Twitter accounts were unfairly suspended Wednesday, rustling the jimmies of several prominent micro-bloggers belonging to the underground hate group #rustleleague.

While it is rumored the notorious #rustleleague are involved in illegal activities, there is no evidence to suggest malicious activity more offensive than DDoS attacks or SQL injections – . . .

Pastor Hal W. Hubbard outrages nation by endorsing gay marriage, abortion

Pastor Hal W. Hubbard caresses an Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake.

Saddleback Mountain, VA — Pastor Hal W. Hubbard of the Pentecostal Church of Holiness outraged the nation Wednesday with statements denouncing traditional marriage and the sacrosanct status of fetal life. In a recent sermon, Hubbard said, “God’s children are killing . . .

Is John Thiessen th3j35t3r? Analyst says ‘maybe’

Is this man th3j35t3r? Critical Thinking and Psychology Books resoundingly say YES.

FRHIDLEY, Minnesota — A recent chatlog between patriotic hacker th3j35t3r and the lying serial pedophile accuser John Thiessen was published on Thiessen’s blog, detailing the hacker’s firm and brutal grasp on Thiessen’s cojones. After this chat, John Thiessen posted a . . .

the inernet

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the chronicle rape tentacle has scraped glistening hate from the crusty bowels of your fucking internet for you

#lulzsec were the finest group of trolls that ever lived but most of them are in jail awaiting trial or FBI informants now #TROLLD2DETH #xx420N0SC0P3xx

#destructivesec was cool but their main mission was to destroy enough law . . .

Anti-Trolling Blogging Group Caught Trolling

INTERNET, TWITTER–Today fans of Anti-trolling blogging group the GNAA(Gay Nigger Association of America) were appalled to see their micro-blogging heroes troll unsuspecting victims with satirical rhetoric and what some would call the “weird twitter” phenomenon.

The tweets came from GNAA members @DUTCHMINATI and @methadonna, both well known anti-trolling bloggers . . .

2 Chainz dead at 36

2 Chainz overdosed on crack.

ATLANTA — Rapper Tauheed Eppz, known to fans as “2 Chainz,” and “Tity Boi,” died Sunday from heart complications related to crack smoking. In his recent single, “Crack,” 2 Chainz said, “Everywhere I go I got crack, I got that crinack.”

2 Chainz came under fire from hip hop . . .

Syrian Dictator Bashar Al-Assad assassinated

RIP Bashar Al Assad, dead from an assassin’s bullet on March 24, 2013

DAMASCUS — Brutal Syrian Dictator and Opthamologist Bashar Al-Assad was assassinated by a disgruntled bodyguard Sunday Morning, as western propaganda alleged his involvement in recent chemical attacks rightfully attributed to so-called revolutionary forces which act as proxies for Christendom. Assad was . . .