ELFWAX affiliate unearthed after years of abuse

The following video was extracted from an archive of federal repossessions and returned the chronicle.su office late last year.

“Years of systematically abusing oneself while praying to Charles Manson leads a person to create music and imagery like this. And in one dark night, it can all disappear. With one murder, all your work can . . .

Current events protester has no idea what he’s protesting

“Do you know what’s going on in our country?” asked 20-year-old fagatronic nimrod Dale Shelton of Roanoke, Va.

Shelton said he is fed up with the direction American politics are heading. He said the decisions being made at the top affect everyone, including children.

“They’re raping our rights,” Shelton said, “like we raped . . .

“Chumlee” of Pawn Stars fame dead

Fans mourn the loss of Chumlee Russell who died Monday evening of a marijuana overdose.

LAS VEGAS — In what may come to be a medical landmark, “Chumlee” Russell of Pawn Stars fame died from a marijuana overdose Monday night and was found by friend “Big Hoss” Harrison on Tuesday morning. Earlier . . .

Associated Press “Joins Anonymous”

An enraged employee of the Associated Press tweeted support for Anonymous.

INTERNET — News broke Friday that the government had wiretapped and extensively spied on the Associated Press for reporting on terrorist activities. This was quickly followed by a now-deleted tweet in support of the shadowy collective of hackers known as Anonymous.

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Google to change its algorithm

The New Google will be able to predict search terms based on information from decades of “datamining.”

INTERNET — Google insiders have leaked that the fundamental Algorithm, which guides all of their services, is going to be completely replaced with a new, hyper-efficient version called New Google. No longer will users be . . .

Jodi Arias dead from apparent suicide

Jodi Arias was found dead in her prison cell from self-inflicted asphyxiation.

PHOENIX — Jodi Arias was found dead on Friday in her prison cell as she awaited sentencing, amid reports of a strict suicide watch. The murderess, who slit the throat of her boyfriend, shot him in the head, and then . . .

Feds clamp down on 3d printed weapons

Are these spear-thrower designs now illegal?

INTERNET — The State Department Office of Defense Trade Controls Compliance has forced Cody Wilson to “pull” downloadable designs for the world’s first plastic .22 caliber pistol, which was manufactured on a 3d printing machine that recently became available at local office supply stores near you.

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Dotcom Accuses United States Government of Conspiracy

Kim Dotcom has faced illegal surveillance by the New Zealand government and now faces extradition to the United States. (Photo: Wikipedia)

Eccentric German-Finnish billionaire Kim Dotcom and his attorneys fired back at federal prosecutors Wednesday by accusing them, alongside other domestic authorities, of conspiracy to “deprive defendants of their presumption of innocence.” . . .

Congressman Rick Renzi’s Corruption Trial Begins

A leading watchdog group named Renzi, above, as one of the top 20 most corrupt congressmen for three straight years. (Photo: Wikipedia)

Opening arguments in the Tucson trial of former Arizona Representative Rick Renzi (R-AZ) began Wednesday with federal prosecution characterizing Renzi as having engaged in “lying and stealing … taking advantage . . .

Stephen Hawking joins Illuminati, snubs Israel

Who is Stephen Hawking, anyway?

TEL AVIV — Rampant rumors on the net have surfaced espousing contradictory narratives about Stephen Hawking, Israel, and the Illuminati. Most popular of these stories is one in which Hawking has refused to appear at a conference in Israel in protest of their wanton killing of Arabs, . . .