The Fetishization of Systemic Whistleblowing

Blowing the whistle on a corrupt facet of systems of power is not a new phenomenon, nor is it even an effective one at that(anymore, at least). However, whistleblowing is a dirty word and dirty words lead to dirty thoughts, which ultimately lend to dirty actions. Internet bloggers and experts of opinion tout whistleblowing heroes . . .

Snowden is a government shill.

Snowden was a plant. The government was behind 9/11.

 

EXPERT: “Miley Cyrus Cataclysm Imminent”

Miley Is Predicted To Devastate Humanity In The Coming Weeks

Miley Cyrus is rumored by the religious elite to be small enough to disintegrate in the atmosphere but experts predict Miley could vaporize so rapidly, she will explode, said MIT physicist Dr. Angstrom Troubadour, creating an electromagnetic pulse so . . .

Miley Cyrus Dead after Gang Rape

Miley Cyrus Died shortly after Gang Raping Friday Afternoon.

HOLLYWOOD — A group of young men, unable to contain their libidinous urges after repeated sexual performances by Miley Cyrus, brutally gang raped the former child star who then died tragically from internal injuries.

Miley’s recent performance at the MTV video awards featured “twerking,” . . .

Syria Conflict Causing Retardation In John Kerry

John Kerry showed the telltale signs of retardation Friday.

Secretary of State John Kerry has descended into what experts are calling advanced mental retardation. As the increasingly complex situation in Syria continues to unfold, the former Senator appears “disheveled and dumb.”

“I’m not saying there’s any correlation,” explained The . . .

Top Terror Targets Hit in Global Terror Blitz

The world’s number one terror target, the 1,776 foot tall Freedom Tower, fell after terrorists carefully laced the interior structure with nanothermite.

NEW YORK — After three consecutive weeks of the most elevated terror alert levels since 2001, synchronized attacks have nonetheless killed millions of innocent Americans on the twelfth anniversary of 9/11, . . .

Journalist Detained at London Heathrow Airport by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Detained at London’s Heathrow Airport by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

LONDON — Veteran Internet Chronicle journalist, Vic Livingstone, was detained for 9 hours today at London’s Heathrow Airport by our parent company Lebal Drocer, Inc. His electronics were confiscated, which included his laptop, cellular flip-phone, numerous tamagotchis and 2 Xboxes.

While the exact reasoning behind . . .

Pseudoevent Season has citizens taking cover

As pseudoevent season approaches, a new naming system for storms draws from pop culture to keep viewers interested in potential disasters. (Actual graphic from The Weather Channel)

With hurricanes building to catastrophic levels off the coast of Africa and the annual 9/11 memorial terror attacks looming, it’s officially pseudoevent season. Analysts expect this . . .

America Joins Al Qaeda

A transcendental John F. Kennedy once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

JFK might have been a no-good Communist sympathizer, but by God, he was right about one thing: serving your country. Besides, why do you think we had him assassinated?

The new . . .

The US Supports Al Qaeda

The United States of America says you’ll be detained for showing support for Al Qaeda. Because they hate competition.

The NDAA

You never transcended. You’re a semantic fucking blockage.