#THumP offers fake reward to Kilgoar ‘n Hatesec

THumP’s logo is a hand that both gives and takes.

INTERNET — The THumP (Humanity Party) campaign is in full damage control after a real barn burner of a very special hour long Hate Radio podcast by Kilgoar ‘n Hatesec. Kilgoar’s research proved beyond a doubt that THumP is a political party controlled . . .

Internet Chronicle writer “Kilgoar” Trout dead at 27

Fans mourn the loss of Trout.

WASHINGTON – Monday, “Kilgoar” Trout, founder of the beloved Internet Chronicle, died from a simultaneous drug overdose and car wreck while on his way to a “business meeting.” Police forensics experts seemed befuddled reporting, “We’ve never had a case of death by the combination of overdose and . . .

Humanity Party cult leader Chris Nemelka to introduce Donald Trump at Roanoke rally, promises ‘big truth’


ROANOKE, Va. — Trump aides confirmed Humanity Party leader Chris Nemelka, a neoconservative religious cult leader who plies his congregation with opioids, is scheduled to introduce the 2016 Republican presidential nominee at a rally in the quiet mountain village of Roanoke, Virginia.

Humanity Party leader Chris Nemelka, seen here comparing himself to . . .

chronicle.su readers eagerly huddle ’round, jockeying for first eyes on next story


The Hatesec Stoned Numb Literary Review #27.i.II (2016 3rd Quarter)

Hi folks! By now you’ve probably already noticed the stellar piece of science fiction written by in-house author kilgoar trout, of mercurial fame and notoriety through chronicle.su. The Internet Chronicle is the only first website to be rated by the US House Committee . . .



INTERNET – Lebal Drocer, Inc. is proud to announce a new milestone in clickbait perfection: Last week’s death hoax, Rob Ford Dead At 46, netted a record 4 million pageviews overnight as the world flocked to confirm the truth about former Toronto mayor Rob Ford.

“We were slammin spikes . . .

Neoliberal partnerships advance chronicle.su agenda ‘one step closer to peaceful annihilation’

Lebal Drocer, Inc. Zombie Apocalypse Edition

hatesec is a cat on the internet

The Internet Chronicle has combined forces with Hate Security by Hatesec Enterprises, a Lebal Drocer affiliate.

The new partnership’s dual purpose is to simultaneously hack your iPhone using powerful, state-of-the-art decryption techniques, and provide a propaganda mouthpiece for the ruling elite, who got that way . . .

hatesec’s cat house, a barnburner by hatesec

It was just cats, everywhere: Kilgoar

2009: When cats took over the kitchen, we got to have cookouts every night on the front porch!

Roanoke, Va. – I recently returned from a fantastic experience that took place in a close, personal friend’s house where he lives in squalor and disease. When I walked in the front door, two cats escaped . . .

Hungry for dignity, chronicle.su editors search desperately for real jobs

micky dees snapbacks

The work is already piling up behind kilgoar at his new cubicle job. He now hates Mondays, and is learning to deflect the rhetorical question, “You know what TV show you look like?”

Asheville, N.C. — In a harsh economy of rapidly declining meme dankness, compounded by sheer pepe rarity, Internet Chronicle . . .

Why reddit incorrectly deleted a chronicle.su story from its frontpage (and why we’re happy to see it)

reddit alien

“Actually, I watch CNN, and that isn’t REALLY how Ross Ulbricht was CAUGHT.”

Today OP posted an older chronicle.su story to reddit, and about two hours ago, it was deleted. I don’t take issue with the fact it took so long for the public to pick up on this story [Editor’s Note: . . .

Retail Wrapup: My job at Walmart Supercenter

Wal-Mart Shopper

I promised myself that if I ever got to this point – that if I ever sank so low – I would record it, because the world deserves to know, lest we should forget: Walmart is a hellish nightmare unfolding right in your own backyard.

This is hatesec, reporting live from the bottomless pit of . . .