Big Government

joe biden Big Government

WASHINGTON–Joe Biden bargains away civil rights to defense contractors.

This government doesn’t love you. It doesn’t want to protect you.

This government wants your vote so they can fucking hurt you. They lie to you, making vague statements like you don’t fucking know better, like you don’t fucking know any big words, so they can take your shit away and put it in their bank vaults because they’re protecting their sick friends who make fucked gambles on your life savings so they can buy child prostitutes at home, and abroad.

This government, my friends, has a thousand tentacles for every smiling face, all wanting to rape you, looking you in the eyes, and telling you, “It’s okay.”

This government sends out agents to chat you up, make you feel good, like you’re better than your peers, like you’re better than the trash you write among, like you make better choices, you’re a clearer thinker, you’re a smarter breed, than those fucking criminals we know you all walk behind.

This government is your friend, your father, it makes decisions for your body, rapes you with ultrasound wands, says you can’t get married or you’ll break the broken sacred tax code used for secret murders you can not stop. This government holds you against your will, with your head in a dark bag, as it waterboards you for information you sincerely do not wish to give up. This government is worse than your abusive Big Brother of 1984.

This government is just plain old, fucking, Big.

Fascist Zune Conspiracy Exposed

The Zune Reset Management Tool has been wiped from Microsoft Servers because hackers used it to subvert Digital Rights Management (DRM) built into its devices. DRM is known by libertarian software activists as “defective by design” because Zune software removes tracks without alerting the user.

This Reset Tool was the last recourse for struggling people …MOAR!

Rihanna Illuminati imagery sparks controversy

“When you open your mind you allow demons to take over.”

INTERNET — The April and Wayne Show has revealed the true meaning behind Rihanna’s hit pop song Diamonds, which draws heavily on biblical imagery and is indicating the path to Buddha-Consciousness with the lyrics like, “Shine bright like a diamond,” and “I …MOAR!

America Heralds Permanent War

Michael Sheehan is a scum sucking war criminal

Obama Administration spokesman Michael Sheehan said they are “pre-emptively” calling any future administration that tries to stop the Authorization to Use Military Force (AUMF) “treasonous” for aiding whoever the enemy is by then. …MOAR!

ELFWAX affiliate unearthed after years of abuse

The following video was extracted from an archive of federal repossessions and returned the chronicle.su office late last year.

“Years of systematically abusing oneself while praying to Charles Manson leads a person to create music and imagery like this. And in one dark night, it can all disappear. With one murder, all your work can …MOAR!

Current events protester has no idea what he’s protesting

“Do you know what’s going on in our country?” asked 20-year-old fagatronic nimrod Dale Shelton of Roanoke, Va.

Shelton said he is fed up with the direction American politics are heading. He said the decisions being made at the top affect everyone, including children.

“They’re raping our rights,” Shelton said, “like we raped …MOAR!

“Chumlee” of Pawn Stars fame dead

Fans mourn the loss of Chumlee Russell who died Monday evening of a marijuana overdose.

LAS VEGAS — In what may come to be a medical landmark, “Chumlee” Russell of Pawn Stars fame died from a marijuana overdose Monday night and was found by friend “Big Hoss” Harrison on Tuesday morning. Earlier …MOAR!

Associated Press “Joins Anonymous”

An enraged employee of the Associated Press tweeted support for Anonymous.

INTERNET — News broke Friday that the government had wiretapped and extensively spied on the Associated Press for reporting on terrorist activities. This was quickly followed by a now-deleted tweet in support of the shadowy collective of hackers known as Anonymous.

…MOAR!

Google to change its algorithm

The New Google will be able to predict search terms based on information from decades of “datamining.”

INTERNET — Google insiders have leaked that the fundamental Algorithm, which guides all of their services, is going to be completely replaced with a new, hyper-efficient version called New Google. No longer will users be …MOAR!

Jodi Arias dead from apparent suicide

Jodi Arias was found dead in her prison cell from self-inflicted asphyxiation.

PHOENIX — Jodi Arias was found dead on Friday in her prison cell as she awaited sentencing, amid reports of a strict suicide watch. The murderess, who slit the throat of her boyfriend, shot him in the head, and then …MOAR!