The Hyper Squirrel is a futuristic endangered species engineered by Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador.
INTERNET — Thursday, BioScientist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador invented a new kind of squirrel. The Hyper Squirrel is barely able to hang on because it’s so tiny it can’t compete with the predominant species, the American squirrel. Already, Hyper Squirrel activist groups have rallied to support the Hyper Squirrel’s equal rights and diversity. Larger squirrels will be humanely caged and removed from the Hyper Squirrel’s natural environment at the Troubador Polytechnical Institute’s campus.
Dr. Troubador told reporters, “We plan to expand the invention of new endangered species to an industrial scale and open up franchises in every major biosphere on the planet. This will both speed up evolution and provide the planet with enhanced biodiversity, possibly curbing the threat of global warming. These fast-evolving trash squids I’ve been working on will thrive in that hellish whirlpool of plastic human detritus in the Pacific and absorb carbon dioxide.”
Anonymous Scientists at DARPA criticized Dr. Troubador, saying, “We’ve all known about the climate change hoax for a long time, but if Troubador wanted to speed up evolution I suggest he just introduce invasive species to new parts of the world. We’ve been doing this for years. Whatever animal consumes the most is of course the most evolved, the antithesis of something like that puny Hyper Squirrel. What he’s doing is slowing down evolution. I’ve been working on this terrible plague to unleash which, when it runs its course, will basically make us immune to any foreseeable biological alien attack. It’s not a doomsday project, just a cosmic immunization. One day we may even kill and eat the aliens, if we continue steadfast with such projects. We’ve been working with the airline companies for decades on this. Another thirty years or so and we’ll be in the clear.”
These Litecoins are exploding in value.
INTERNET — A single Litecoin article covering increased Litecoin trading sparked a crazed rush on the Litecoin market. Bitcoins take days to transfer and will eventually become too taxing for affordable computer systems. Litecoins, on the other hand, will only become faster as time goes on. . . .
Tranquilizing dart turrets will be placed in all public places, protecting everyone from a sudden shooting.
INTERNET — Hacker Group Anonymous unveiled that NeoReactionarian Oligarchists in possession of an HBGary “Metal Gear” Persona Management propaganda system on Twitter are steadily brainwashing “Anarchists” into opposing police. The NeoReactionarians are a collection of billionaires . . .
Hacker collective Anonymous takes credit for decimating the Internet Chronicles servers or something.
INTERNET — The Internet Chronicle was under siege Sunday evening, as packets flooded in from across the globe, shutting down the site temporarily. This tactic is widely known and used by Anonymous, a loose-knit offshoot of Anonymous hacker group known as . . .
This image, created by Anons Against YourAnonNews, shows Vince this summer (Left) and just a few days ago (Right).
INTERNET — Fans of the hacker ensemble Anonymous have long found a home at Vince in The Bay, an internet talk radio show where anything goes except on-air doxings and swattings (malicious tactics . . .
Litecoin shows promise behind sudden Bitcoin inflation. . . .
New “One Ring” Operating System terrifies audiences
The One Ring Headquarters (Internet)
One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
INTERNET — Do you hear the sound of your mind being submerged in its unconscious? The psychic . . .
“Destroying your own life has never been easier,” said Nottaway. “With the power of LinkedIn, users will soon be able to share their favorite surreptitious jailbait photographs with people they know in real life, at unprecedented profits to us.” . . .
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Viking culture was often adopted by an ascendant ruling warrior class in Viking conquered territories such as Ireland. More often, inhabitants were sold into slavery in the Muslim world.
There is an ancient Icelandic Saga, long considered a work of fiction but now backed up by some archaeology, about a young boy . . .