Deric Loststutter debate has everything to do with victims, claims “victims”
INTERNET — Butthurt continued Monday from last week when Deric Lotstutter derailed a feminist hashtag reserved for rape survivor stories with his own Kentucky brand shameless self-promotion. News of the recent purchase of Lotstutter’s story by Brad Pitt’s film company and the . . .
World War 4: Modern Warfare hits shelves tomorrow
KIEV — Ukraine’s new government launched “anti-terror” military operations to eject Russian mercenaries entrenched in Eastern Ukraine. Mercenaries with these same fatigues were supported by the nationalist bike gang cavalry in taking Crimea from the new American-backed European Union “Nazis” in Kiev.
These are default . . .
“Daym,” who died Wednesday from a heart attack, was known for his bombastic takeout reviews.
INTERNET — Youtube sensation and fast food review monarch “Daym” of the Daym Drops channel was known for a famous review of Five Guys Burgers and Fries, in which he coined his signature line, “Oh my Dayum.” . . .
Kevin Mitnick and the Chinese President have hearts bleeding all over the NSA
BEIJING — Heartbleed, the most dangerous state-crafted cyber weapon since stuxnet, is a virus that infects nearly every device connected to the internet, and it was crafted by the NSA as an offensive weapon according to a statement from Chinese . . .
Ancient aliens who have carefully cultivated life on Earth from a distance used this tracking beacon on Mars to guide their ships in safely and undetected.
OLYMPUS MONS — Final and incontrovertible proof of intelligent alien life was photographed by Nasa’s Mars Curiosity Rover, Tuesday, and even the most skeptical scientists are hailing . . .
Mike and Frank firmly grip female busts “picked” from a “honey hole”
INTERNET — Mike and Frank of American Pickers, the world’s most popular on-screen gay couple since Laurel and Hardy, have been granted a legal marriage and plan to artificially inseminate Danielle, who will give birth to their new family. Until then, . . .
John Cena dead at 37 from bullying
INTERNET — John Cena, twelve time heavyweight champion and professional wrestler for the WWE was found dead Wednesday morning. Investigators said Cena drank a gallon of bleach after cyberbullies targeted him with “life ruining” tactics and death hoaxes.
Detective Greg Samberg, who is investigating Cena’s case, . . .
Wikileaks reveals Skylab encountered aliens
INTERNET — Julian Assange came forward with documents hacked from the CIA cloud database which prove “beyond a shadow of a doubt” that extraterrestrials have been in contact with the CIA since 1973, when one of their ships appeared outside Skylab.
During launch, Skylab’s solar array was damaged . . .
There’s little doubt about it — except in this article’s fake linkbait title — algorithm jamming is the present stage of the world’s most popularly viewed “art.”
An inhumanly vast body of algorithmically generated nonsense exists and exposes you to advertisers, an entertainment industry completely devoid of any entertainment but the shred that exists in . . .
This is it. This is finally the end. It’s over.
INTERNET — As Russian forces storm into Ukraine, strained voices in both the Kremlin and the Pentagon are clamoring for a quick and easy nuclear solution.
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, expert in ecological geopolitics, told reporters, “They’ve got their fingers on the nuclear . . .