New weather hypermodeling gives meteorologists in the military unbelievable predictive capabilities
INTERNET — A team of meteorologists at DARPA have announced a “near solution” to weather prediction so complex that it not only takes into account the gravitational pull of planets in our solar system but also of nearby stars. These systems are . . .
Molly Crabapple’s latest painting, OpPornPixie
INTERENT — Molly Crabapple, artist and blogger known for her commentary about how the world’s messed up, tweeted Friday about her latest painting entitled OpPornPixie. At the center of the operation is a highly stylized and glamorous self-portrait overlaid with a bloodspatter of the kind of abusive comments . . .
The CIA has immunized the globe from dangerous terrorist genes “for centuries to come”
INTERNET — The CIA’s secret terror vaccine program, used to preemptively punish foreigners with “terror markers” in their genome, ended today even as it successfully brought peace to areas of Pakistan, Afghanistan, and beyond.
By analyzing the genomes of . . .
An emergency escape helicopter approaches the White House Friday morning as militias assemble at the gates
INTERNET — President Obama and staff fled to a secret location Friday afternoon utilizing escape tunnels and helicopters as armed American Spring militia men surrounded the White House.
American Spring militias now Occupy the White House and . . .
Fascist Ukrainian zealots storm Moscow
INTERNET — Ukrainian fascists and their newly conscripted military marched on Russia Friday, taking both Moscow and St. Petersburg in an overnight “blitzkrieg” mobile infantry offensive. Millions are dead after preliminary warning nukes were detonated in low population density areas in the United States, Europe, Central Asia, Australia, . . .
Terryville’s golden suburban Saturday afternoon was disrupted by a suspicious glowing bag.
TERRYVILLE — The Terryville police finally got a chance to wheel out their mobile command unit and armored personnel carriers as downtown Terryville panicked when a suspicious plastic bag was left in the middle of main street by an unknown cowled . . .
Deric Loststutter debate has everything to do with victims, claims “victims”
INTERNET — Butthurt continued Monday from last week when Deric Lotstutter derailed a feminist hashtag reserved for rape survivor stories with his own Kentucky brand shameless self-promotion. News of the recent purchase of Lotstutter’s story by Brad Pitt’s film company and the . . .
World War 4: Modern Warfare hits shelves tomorrow
KIEV — Ukraine’s new government launched “anti-terror” military operations to eject Russian mercenaries entrenched in Eastern Ukraine. Mercenaries with these same fatigues were supported by the nationalist bike gang cavalry in taking Crimea from the new American-backed European Union “Nazis” in Kiev.
These are default . . .
“Daym,” who died Wednesday from a heart attack, was known for his bombastic takeout reviews.
INTERNET — Youtube sensation and fast food review monarch “Daym” of the Daym Drops channel was known for a famous review of Five Guys Burgers and Fries, in which he coined his signature line, “Oh my Dayum.” . . .
Kevin Mitnick and the Chinese President have hearts bleeding all over the NSA
BEIJING — Heartbleed, the most dangerous state-crafted cyber weapon since stuxnet, is a virus that infects nearly every device connected to the internet, and it was crafted by the NSA as an offensive weapon according to a statement from Chinese . . .