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By  Kilgoar, on April 20th, 2013%Redditors enjoy a front-page appearance and are aroused as agents storm through their house. BOSTON — 9/11 fans rejoiced Thursday after Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was arrested by thousands of paramilitary police units which stormed through nearly 10,000 houses in Watertown, systematically invading every home in the area. …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 18th, 2013%The “cocky” pair of bombers walks through the crowd. The black-capped suspect disguised himself with sunglasses. Is the white-hatted suspect on a cellphone? With WHOM?
Suspect in the gangster-looking white hat looks through the crowd. By Kilgoar, on April 18th, 2013%Anonymous News Network to serve up the unerring truth — a blatant threat towards the Internet Chronicle’s market-share. INTERNET — This week, news broke that the YourAnonNews twitter account, with over a million followers, successfully raised $54,000 through merchandising and donations which will go towards founding the Activist News Network. This idea …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 16th, 2013%A mummified Argentinosaurus has been found under the melting Antarctic ice. ANTARCTICA — Summer ice melts in Antarctica have revealed land that has been covered since the time of the dinosaurs, and according to Paleontologist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, it’s revealed part of the preserved body of one of the largest animals …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 15th, 2013%AMERICA — Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador, author of the bestselling do-it-yourself skin cancer removal book Slash and Save, excited fans with the publishing of his newest work, You’re Diseased! In this book, Dr. Troubadoor outlines the deep connection between pleasure and pathology, and he has graciously shared an excerpt from his introduction with the Internet Chronicle. For …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 14th, 2013%Nude images of Fred Phelps engaged in homosexual acts were leaked by spurned lovers. WESTBORO BAPTIST — A pornographic image depicting Pastor Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church, famous for picketing the funerals of soldiers with incendiary anti-gay rhetoric, has drawn massive media attention due to its homosexual nature. The Internet …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 12th, 2013%Ivan Stang will be remembered for his convincing impression of a religious fanatic. Cleveland Heights, OH — Fans mourn the loss of Doug Smith, also known as Reverend Ivan Stang, who died Friday from a brain-eating amoeba believed to have infected him during the filming of what he called “Animalcule Porn.” Famous …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 11th, 2013%Rehtaeh Parsons is yet another glorious heroic suicide tied to the e-Rape phenomenon. NOVA SCOTIA — Rehtaeh Parsons, a teen who was a victim of the new e-Rape phenomenon in which bullies share images and video of rape on the internet, joined Amanda Todd and other victims of e-Rape bullying in the …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 8th, 2013%
INTERNET — The “Idea Channel,” a horrifying YouTube production from PBS which aims to educate and entertain within five lighting-fast minutes, has translated television pedagogy to the internet. Surprise! It’s incredibly bad. The painfully hip mustachio’d host Mike Rugnetta rattles off jargon and drops names in front of a backdrop of …MOAR! By Kilgoar, on April 8th, 2013%Illuminati leader Margaret Thatcher was murdered by the collective will of bitcoin owners. LONDON — Margaret Thatcher, first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and high-ranking Illuminati member, succumbed to old age, making one bitcoin gambler and trained assassin, Ronnie Nitro, a millionaire overnight. So-called death pools invite owners of bitcoins …MOAR! |
 
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