US Air Force Global Strike Command Celebrates MLK Legacy of War Promotion

Martin Luther King, Jr. Might Understand Today’s Wars, Pentagon Lawyer Says

Commentary by Warren Ward Air Force Global Strike Command Programming Division

 

1/21/2013 - BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, La.  – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s 83rd birthday …MOAR!

Lebal Drocer, Inc. Purchases Human Being

RICHMOND, VA. — “We just seen the opportunity, and I couldn’t pass it up. I had to own a slave,” said Internet Chronicle Publisher Frank Mason, speaking to clerical staff and press called to a conference at 1000 Monument Ave. With Jeff Schapiro from the Times-Dispatch busily taking notes, Mr. Mason continued, lamenting that he …MOAR!

Obama Gun Plan Will “Combat Mass Shootings”

Stan Milton, lead designer for the Obama plan, said the plan will institute software designed to comb through buyers’ histories, cross-referencing prior instances of gun-related crimes against humanity. …MOAR!

Federal Government Revokes 2nd Amendment Rights

America screwed the pooch and temporarily lost those sweet, sweet gun rights. …MOAR!

Dancing Outlaw Jesco White Dead at 59

Bandytown, W.Va — Fans mourn iconic West Virginia wild-man Jesco White, who died at his Boone County home after inhaling twin doses of lighter fluid and gas fumes Saturday.

Fans received a rude awakening who believed White finally got clean following the successes of Jescofest, a festival held in his honor, …MOAR!

The Hyper Social Revolutionary Network Has Risen

Mob rule is everything in the Hyper Revolutionary Social Networking device.

This message comes from the Public Relations desk of your very own chronicle.su:

While on its way to chronicle.su’s chief war correspondent Viet Zam, a message from Lillian King was intercepted early October, establishing a multi-tiered dialog around the coming “Social Network Revolution.” After …MOAR!

The Rowntree Delusion

ALRart.net

Alistair’s Mastery …MOAR!

Seasonal Flu Tips From Doctor Angstrom H. Troubedaur

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur

Angstrom H. Troubador’s new self-help health book for “bros,” Healthy as Fuck, hits shelves this Christmas.

Sup fellow dudes? Have you noticed a slimy feeling in your chest? Does it feel like you got herpes on your lungs? Yeah, that’s you gettin’ sick, bro.

It’s probably time to lay down the bong …MOAR!

BATTLEFIELD 3 TEACHES KIDS IMPORTANT SKILL OF COMBAT COMMUNICATION

Battlefield 3

BATTLEFIELD 3 TRIGGERS THE MOST REALISTIC WAR FLASHBACKS OUT OF ANY OTHER GAME ON PS3 …MOAR!

Hurricane Sandy Threatens White Communities Along Eastern United States

white-guy-scared-of-bitchstorm

We’ve never seen anything like it, John. Never before have Americans witnessed a storm so potentially threatening to the security of middle class whites. …MOAR!