Top 10 Norm Macdonald Stories Ever Told

Norm Macdonald

Norm sums up what it’s like to write any kind of satire. This story reveals how Norm pioneered cyberbullying, the torch we carry today . . .

The Red Pill

The red pill offers perfect transcendence to a reality – the only reality – where the human penis is both the conclusion and ultimatum of the natural universe, simultaneously. “She’s the cunt who thought she was God, but that’s okay. I don’t give a shit as long as she sucks me off when . . .

Snowden is a government shill.

Snowden was a plant. The government was behind 9/11.

 

EXPERT: “Miley Cyrus Cataclysm Imminent”

Miley Is Predicted To Devastate Humanity In The Coming Weeks

Miley Cyrus is rumored by the religious elite to be small enough to disintegrate in the atmosphere but experts predict Miley could vaporize so rapidly, she will explode, said MIT physicist Dr. Angstrom Troubadour, creating an electromagnetic pulse so . . .

Syria Conflict Causing Retardation In John Kerry

John Kerry showed the telltale signs of retardation Friday.

Secretary of State John Kerry has descended into what experts are calling advanced mental retardation. As the increasingly complex situation in Syria continues to unfold, the former Senator appears “disheveled and dumb.”

“I’m not saying there’s any correlation,” explained The . . .

America Joins Al Qaeda

A transcendental John F. Kennedy once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

JFK might have been a no-good Communist sympathizer, but by God, he was right about one thing: serving your country. Besides, why do you think we had him assassinated?

The new . . .

The US Supports Al Qaeda

The United States of America says you’ll be detained for showing support for Al Qaeda. Because they hate competition.

The NDAA

You never transcended. You’re a semantic fucking blockage.

Oprah Converts Entire Studio Audience To Islam

Asking For It.

Oprah’s new slogan, “Join or Die,” has some supporters scratching their heads.

DAMASCUS, Syria – Philosopher and television star Oprah Winfrey converted every member of her studio audience to Islam Monday during a new show on the O. Network in which she discusses existence and the metaphysical.

Stagehands appeared behind . . .

The Syrian struggle for peace is wide open for exploitation and only our loud opinions can save them!

The user interface determines the quality of American hatred for Assad.

The end game to all human discourse is the categorization of ourselves and those around us. That is to say we see ourselves as these competing entities when in reality we need to help each other compete with the other 7 billion, . . .

Al-Assad ‘Not So Stupid’ As To Use Chemical Weapons: Kurdish Leader

Obama Commands Missile Strike Anyway

DAMASCUS, Syria – Syrian President Bashar al-Assad – in Iran right now, presumably waiting for his country to collapse – would not have been “so stupid” as to deploy chemical weapons near Damascus, said Saleh Muslim, head of the Kurdish Democratic Union Party (PYD).

. . .