The Poor are Satan’s Army

Satan’s Army cannot pass through the pearly gates and into suburban heaven

“I’ve seen a lot of things in my life, but most of all I’ve seen short segments on television by fair and balanced news networks that have no vested political interests backing their reporting. I watch them every day, and because . . .

Intense outpouring of hate

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How to sell AmWay and influence people . . .

Why I can’t do Facebook

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Elf Wax columnist and internet rapist Al Stephenson delivers a biting review of the social networking fucksite, Facebook. . . .

FUCK YOUR BLOG

The Elf Wax Times toils into the wee hours of the morning to bring you part one in an unlimited-part series: VOTE DOWN THE INTERNET, HAIL THE ELF WAX TIMES . . .

Your daughter’s a whore, and not even the good kind

A brutal assessment of today’s American Dad, using excessive vulgarity and disturbing, offensive honesty. . . .

A day in the life

It’s been a while since I’ve had anything valuable to contribute but let me start off with an excuse: my life is retarded. I mean that literally, not figuratively, not “my life is a retard, lol, it can’t wipe its own ass,” nor do I mean my brain is as fucked up as it should . . .