Usually it all starts with a sickly transparent appeal for the acceptance and affection of a group by a complete outsider. Often the fawning stage is baldly disguised as self-deprecation, but more often it begins as a contrived yet frank attempt to become part of a group. The endorphin rush of acceptance accompanies the act of fawning rather than the acceptance itself.
Suffering from the contradictory feelings of total rejection and overwhelming delusional acceptance, the rejected outsider’s ego snaps and he or she inevitably posts jocular comments under many different names, always usurping the identities of those who refuse to validate his or her fawning. This is a sad attempt at “play” from an outsider in complete denial of the obvious rejection. I have seen this stage last for months, and the number of handles used by the same individual, “Geo,” reached a record of 63 different “identities.” This list is incomplete, however, and dates from July of 2011. Since then, “Geo” has repeatedly continued through this cycle and added countless nicks to his trophy case of shame.
Having finally reconciled the rejection, the subject goes on the attack. The most common statement is something like, “I used to like your group, but you’ve gone way downhill recently.” This stage may also last for months, and often the use of transparent alternate identities will persist, even though the repetitive and absurd comments follow an all-too-easily recognized pattern.
The famously obvious Ragequit is often extremely dramatic, but always entirely meaningless. Sometimes it’s really just a part of the aggression stage and it doesn’t necessarily signify a reset in the cycle. Often saying absurd things like “I’m quitting the Internet” or “I’m never visiting this website again,” the rejected person might even try to portray their rage as a quiet and sad admission to the failure of their fawning, only to revert back to the fawning stage within a few days. (Or a single day in THIS case)
I recently posted a very long work to the secretive and prickly SubGenius newsgroup at the suggestion of a SubGenius friend. Many supporters and detractors of Anonymous found this work a valuable analysis of the stagnant discourse plaguing the nascent Anarchic movement, and much of it was obviously inspired or borrowed from the Book of the SubGenius. Some SubGenii, however, immediately identified this as an act of fawning, and set to the same kind of public shaming I’ve dealt out to “Geo” for the past year. My ironic wit immediately engaged in a rapid-fire parody of the vicious cycle of rejection, but this “Satire and Parody fan club” seemed to have succumbed to dementia and failed to recognize the sarcasm. Sadly, I am now trapped in this cycle and any move will be interpreted as one of the four stages of Internet rejection.
“Keep telling yourself that, pinkboy.” ~ Rev. Ivan Stang
From a cramped cgi apartment littered with nothing but Ayn Rand, Barrett Brown orchestrates the downfall of oppressive regimes with Project PM, short for Persona Management. Using a highly sophisticated array of thousands of fake online identities, Brown’s project destabilizes government and foments rebellion across the Middle East.
While closely working with Aaron Barr, Brown was able to remove all the good stuff from the HBGary leak, which explains the lack of evidence about rampant corruption. The government is the only entity with pockets deep enough to pull off such an elaborate plot, and it follows that Brown is ultimately under their pay.
Brown’s close association with Sabu immediately raised questions among his supporters within Anonymous. Thousands of Twitter accounts unfollowed him out of pure suspicion. @Anonymously27 said, “There’s no reason to ever trust Barrett Brown ever again. If he’s not been turned, everyone around him has.”
Experts agree, Barrett Brown was actually never turned by the FBI. He’s always worked for them.
In a highly charged article by Frank Mason, executive editor for the Internet Chronicle, questions were raised about an Anonymous “moralfag” known as MotorMouth, who runs the MotorMouthNews twitter feed. MotorMouth might be described as one of many leaders within Anonymous, but he considers himself more of an educator. His self-styled role in Anonymous is purportedly to keep new members in line with the principles of freedom of press, freedom of religion, and freedom of information.
In Frank Mason’s article, MotorMouth is depicted as a “bounty hunter.” While MotorMouth has confirmed that the pastebin referenced in Mason’s article was legitimate, he says the statements were taken out of context. “I said I was a bounty hunter as a part of an experiment to see how [Jamie Corne] would react. And she took the bait,” MotorMouth stated.
This disinformation campaign against MotorMouth allegedly started over MotorMouth’s refusal to support the Stratfor hack. MotorMouth suggests that the smear campaign against him might have even been Sabu’s idea.
While this is all very interesting, this cyberwar bullshit must be taken with a grain of salt. In the heavily edited words of Frank Mason: ”So remember anons, if you see this man[/woman/ANYONE WHO CLAIMS TO BE FROM ANONYMOUS], do not divulge information to him[/her]. He[/she] could be a bounty hunter hooking up crooked cops, so better safe than sorry. Like we used to say back in the World War II days: ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships!’”
You know I don’t give a fuck about your free market economy failfest.
I don’t give a fuck about your friends.
I don’t fucking like you.
I don’t fucking like this job.
I don’t like your debt palaces or your shit eating faces grinning back at me like I’m your next victim. Eat shit, and DIE.
I hate myself. I hate this website. I hate the readers. I hate Akon, Lil Wayne, black people, white people, Arabs, the Arab Spring oilfest. I hate every crumbling idea you thought was your own that actually belonged to some dickhead in a casual suit on a yacht.
I hate it all.
I hope 2012 December 21 really is the end. I pray to every God in the book that some crackpot conspiracy theorist would become the next Messiah on that day and summon Planet X Himself via SMS right into the face of this foul, miserable planet of humanity.
I pray to Christ himself, sometimes, because he’s the one who is MOST real by Western definitions, I mean delusions, of superstition and whatever the fuck else you want to think about – whatever makes you feel better about serving the capital gods, sucking the dick of credit. The recession! Oh lord! I pray to sweet baby Jesus in the womb of the Virgin fucking Mary to end this miserable bitch like the dinosaurs so we can all go together and for once be on the same page about something. Sameness, communism, capitalism, we’re all getting fucking by an overlord and we act like we’re free! Weeeeee so free! All this freedom on my green grass in my big cars and my free freeness of freedomosity, baby Jesus, thank you for America which served the WHITE RACE so well! Thank you little baby Jesus thank you!!
Thank you for all these THINGS that I HAVE so now I can relish the danger of LOSING it! Holy poopsex, blessed art thou in Heaven whose name I dare not speak, Satan himself, President Barack Hussein Obama the PulitzerNobel Peace Prize Stealing Fascist of the Fifth Reich, the Dark Knight of Neoliberalism, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Come! TAKE IT ALL AND LEAVE ME NOTHING.
Separate me from my family, imprison my terrorist friends and rape my communist lover. And leave me only with this: my soul. Because I don’t fucking need it. I just wanna watch TV.
You know all those exaggerated bullshit stories you read on Reddit, which trick you into believing it really happened to someone? 99% of the time, people embellish their stories dramatically and this is the only reason they get upvotes. Yet somehow, you want to believe it because it’s disguised as a sillyass cartoon that gives you chills of cult like love for your precious, sweet, loving redditors. Oh, you know about the trolls, though. They’re always downvoted and exposed because of Reddit’s precious direct democracy.
Well prepare to have your mind completely shattered, REDDIT.
I use hundreds of sockpuppet accounts to constantly push MISERABLE rage comics into Reddit – HELL, I INVENTED THE LIVEJOURNAL RAGE COMIC.
I did this by making sure the comics would play to all the fucktards who go “aww” and upvote something that isn’t funny.
WELL BY GOD, I’ve got something you’re going to HATE. This is designed for all the little trolls out there, who are now going to RUSH to f7u12 spamposting and spamvoting up horrific comics which will possibly ruin the seriousness which has taken over this CANCEROUS and HIDEOUS scar upon the internet and possibly the worst abscess in COMIC HISTORY.
YOU WILL RUE THE DAY, REDDIT!
Imagine the comments… Infiltrate Reddit…. Upvote…. Profit???
I LOOK EDGY AND FUN WHEN I MAKE TEH IMAGES TOO BIG
Finally, we have ignited Helter Skelter. Our inflammatory and hateful divisive attacks on black celebrities have brought about a race war of trolling never seen even on 4chan. Welcome to a NEW LOW, Internet! And each day, hundreds of thousands of you fools swarm upon the simulated death of your beloved AKON, LIL WAYNE, or WHITNEY HOUSTON, but NEVER Kanye West. We MAKE SO MUCH DAMN MONEY DOING THIS! Thems Chronicle boys’ a’paid by the government, I tells ya!’”
Yes, we knew it would come to this from the very first day the Internet Chronicle was founded. HELTER SKELTER! FINALLY!!!!
Charles Masnon was just another LULZ extremist just like us. Lulz! LUzl1! WE gonna hack your brains n’ control you litle fuxors ta DDoS teh Government!!!!
I wrote a letter to Charles Manson and asked him the best way to control people, and he said “It’s the Internet, dummy,” so I fed the internet a continuous dose of LSD. And lies.
Now the entire Internet is eating out of my hands, scrambling desperately for my sweet nectar of explanation. None of this makes sense, Anonymous is just destroying human rights. The 9/11 truthers are killing my GOD DAMN anti-war movement with their POISONOUS double false flag conspiracy.
First things first, Kilgore Trout is a heartless piece of shit for talking about Andrew Breitbart like that. His family is grieving right now, so don’t even @ tweets his way, alright dude? We are grieving and don’t need that shit.
Nextly, you need to keep your nose out of other people’s problems. You want to satiate your voyeuristic pleasures, open up People magazine. There’s plenty to jerk off to in there. Or Facebook.
Secondarily, Trout is now a member of the establishment. Everybody point and laugh! WOULD YOU LIKE A DONATION, SIR, TO YOUR CULT!? He has become an ordained state sanctioned child rapist, and what’s more is he thinks he can get away with it without the use of cocaine as an incentive. Everybody knows cocaine is the world’s finest catalyst to mouthrape. Rape isn’t funny, Trout. But if you’re going to joke about it, at least try it first.
“Making fun of rape victims is not funny in any way shape or form.”
How low is Kilgore Trout? Kilgore’s so low, Barrett Brown comes to him looking for a fix.
But it goes lower. Kilgore Trout has no respect for women; ZERO. I once saw him get a girl’s phone number just to throw it in the fire and then he asked her to leave the party. But before she could go, he still demanded sex from her “just to make you feel better, baby.” Some gentleman! It’s just despicable. And let’s not get into the date rape. This is a family site.
And another thing: Kilgore Trout is anti-family. He uses chronicle.su to peddle his “pro-choice” agenda as if women know what’s best for them. They need to be protected from evil and learn to accept life as God’s precious gift of love to us all; because a woman’s first instinct is to hurt herself and deprive our world of future lawyers and politicians – in a fit of sin – and that’s why men are in charge of these decisions. Kilgore doesn’t seem to get that, so he must be anti-woman as well. Why don’t you grow a fucking soul, sir? That way the Devil will have something to roast in Hell.
So far, what I’ve written here are merely affronts to Trout’s character. But you may or may not be shocked to learn that as recently as Friday morning, Trout logged in to the chronicle.su cPanel and attempted, fruitlessly, to corrupt all database entries referencing Reverend Magdalen, his fake internet girlfriend with whom he is deeply in love and hoped to protect from “slanderous activity” regarding her sexual identity. Trout allegedly tried to install trojan.exe on Chronicle servers but failed after he realized chronicle.su operates using CentOS, a free and open source Communist software solution that hates your freedom and serves up a mean dose of truth quietly from behind enemy lines.
Stay tuned for more personal attacks on your favorite Chronicle authors.
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Iranian warship transits the Suez canal to fuck with Israel and Syria like it's nothing.
IRAN GEARED UP FOR WAR
INJECTS TWO WARSHIPS
“Hate filled radiation bombs dropped on the fields below burned all the people alive in their homes, like pathetic voles,” said Vice Chairman of Radiation Bombs Senior Palmer, head of AT&T.
For Israel to bring the hatebombing against Iran, “there’s got to be at least 100″ fighter jets in the sky, refueling mid-air during their thousand mile journey. “That way you kill the most innocents,” Palmer added. Lockheed Martin’s written all over this shit. Halliburton? Where are you.
Analysts predict the Israeli fuckstorm over nuke country could have “deep, long-lasting effects” on the region. Dr. Felix Clayborn of the Chronicle Institute of Hatenology said the rocket fire could theoretically be seen from the moon, “which is pretty fucking awesome.”
Meanwhile, South Korea carried forward with a military exercise punishable by North Korean military action. North Korea recently exploded a nuclear bomb underground with which inside sources say Kim Jong Un is preparing to rape the world “like a big radioactive dildo.”
Financial analysts have predicted unprecedented spikes in gas prices. “It’s going to fuck us for a long time,” lamented Clayborn, who is not an authority on the subject.
Lebal Drocer Space Technologies spokesman Raleigh T. Sakers said the fallout after global thermonuclear war is going to suck pretty bad.
“Human life on earth could be eradicated as early as Fall 2014,” prophesied Sakers. He also said gold will never cost nothing, adding that it will always be worth something. “There’s never been a better time to invest,” he explained.
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