An image uploaded to Bruno Mars' website raises new questions regarding his sexuality.
According to his website
A photo uploaded to pop superstar Bruno Mars’ website Monday morning answered questions lingering among online communities and forums.
The photo heading “I THINK I’M GAY!” left no room for suggestion as to what the singer-songwriter could possibly mean – or a lot, depending on your imagination!
In 2011, Mars received six Grammy nominations, highlighting the tremendous progress made by the LGBT community within the music industry, following in the footsteps of legends such as Elton John, David Bowie and Ricky Martin.
Bruno Mars’ first album, Doo-Wops & Hooligans proved to be the third biggest-selling album of 2011 in the United Kingdom.
Mars is currently working on his second album after signing a worldwide publishing deal with BMG Chrysalis.
LOS ANGELES- It is our sad duty to report American pop idol Lady Gaga has been diagnosed with brain cancer.
A Saturday announcement confirmed physicians discovered what has been called an “inoperable” malignant tumor in the brain of Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, perhaps known better as Lady Gaga, after the singer complained of feeling more run down and fatigued than usual.
Lady Gaga is being treated at the Cedars-Sinai medical institution. She thanked her fans for their support in this difficult time, encouraging everyone to “stay strong,” reassuring the public she “will persevere.”
Germanotta’s agent requested media and fans to contact Lady Gaga, as usual, care of her record labels, Def Jam Records, and Interscope.
Lady Gaga stopped using cell phones two years ago because of paranoia that they might cause brain cancer. Saturday’s news indicates she may not have stopped soon enough.
There has been no word yet as to whether the Born This Way Ball Tour (on The Road To Love) will continue as scheduled.
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A little girl shows her family how she believes 46.789% of our known universe will die in a gamma ray burst originating from the Great Attractor.
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There once was a very nonspecific kind of master who was infinitely wealthy because he had a machine which never stopped making money. The master owned many trillions of slaves and did not want to lose his property, so he set up fences and guard towers which were manned at all times. Out of all the trillions, there was one young slave who was very strong and yearned for a life outside the fences. Time and time again, the slave escaped by overpowering the guards and blindly running into the darkness.
Once, the slave even made it to the north pole, but even then the master had enough money to hire men to hunt him down. Each time the strong slave was captured, he was lashed by the master’s guards as punishment. This may have been totally cruel, but it was the only way the master knew of to keep all of his trillions of slaves from running loose. When the slave received his lashings, he associated the pain with the feeling of pure freedom. The guards did not mind hitting the slave because it was their only true purpose anyway. Plus, the slave had injured their comrades many times while escaping, so most of them enjoyed it.
The continuing game between the slave and the guards became more unfair as they caught on to his behavior. Also, the master spent his infinite money on new ways to stop the slave. He built solid steel walls, dug deep trenches, and even installed cameras in the bathrooms. After a while, the master just had the slave locked away in a vault made of solid diamond.
While in the diamond chamber, The slave realized that the escapes were really a desperate and masochistic attempt at control. That was the only kind of freedom he had really ever wanted, the freedom to die at the hands of his master. Out of pity, the master let the slave out of the diamond chamber many years later. Rather than attempt another desperate escape, the slave killed a guard as soon as he had a chance. The other guards promptly shot the slave to death.
He's got that look on his face like he's been sucking on little boy scrotums and little pinky shaped boy penises. Sucking on little pink nutsacks.
BITING REVIEW: I just watched Those Sandusky Boys, the finest piece of investigative journalism there’s ever been since the Watergate scandal revealed Richard M. Nixon routinely trafficked little boys into the White House.
[Editor's note: This was the biggest little boy scandal until Penn. State's Coach Sandusky proved it could be more easily done with free tickets and promises to meet certain heroes in the shower room]
Stan Marivan, main character of the Hollywood blockbuster Those Sandusky Boys, which grossed $40 million on its opening weekend, plays himself: an Internet millionaire working for chronicle.su who donates half of his earnings to right-wing conservative hackers in the form of bitcoins. Marivan said the film incorporates fictional elements to make it more interesting, such as bitcoins being worth something.
“I’ve experimented with men before,” said Marival. “But I have a girlfriend. I am very interested in the things I can do to her, sexually.”
Marival is like M. Night Shamalayanayea except he’s talented and the only twist he needs is a titty twist as he’s getting his rocks off so he can bust a nut up inside his girlfriend and Those Sandusky Boys.
Attorneys are awash with litigation pertaining to the film’s sensitive subject and refusal to change the names of neither the perpetrator nor his victims. “But all in all,” Marival said, “It’s just a bunch of whatever, we’re making money. Shit.” Marival threw up his hands and squatted so hard he tore the ass out of his khaki slacks, and shat liquid projectile feces directly into his own rare human-face carpeting in the Whollywood Whills.
Marival yelled to a woman named Henrietta, attaching profanities in Spanish, and pointed to the brown stains in his living room. The woman exhaled a whimpering cry, and wallowed in it.
According to recent stories in the media, Morgan Freeman, 72, is planning to get married to his 27 year old step-granddaughter, E’dena Miles. The National Enquirer claims the couple will get married as soon as Freeman’s divorce from his second wife Myrna comes through. The Shawshank Redemption actor has allegedly been having a decade long sexual relationship with E’dena. The affair is supposed to have started when E’dena was seventeen. The National Enquirer states that Freeman’s wife – when learning about the secret romps – had threatened to sue E’dina as “correspondent, as an adulterer, in my marriage”. E’dena and Morgan have no biological connection — she is the granddaughter of Morgans first wife, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw — but Morgan and Myrna were instrumental in raising E’dena since she was a young child. A family insider has reportedly told the CHRONICLE that Freeman has led E’dena to believe that he wants to marry her, and that “becoming Mrs Freeman is E’dena’s goal”. Morgan Freeman has not commented on the issue so far.
Andrew Breitbart’s stringy gray hair was greased back with sweat as he loomed over a child, heaving and groaning. In his shadow, the small boy covered his naked shame with both hands and fixed his eyes on the wall, where a picture of Jesus was hung. He was supposed to meet a star.
Through blurry tears, the fresh boy pleaded silently into a haze of pastel colors, bargaining with the figure in a helpless bid to take away the blinding pain he knew was coming again, and again. The picture, slightly a shift, just stared back.
“Please,” he mewed. “Don’t.”
Breitbart reached under his well-fed and sagging One Percent gut where he fished around in an area of fat – barely distinguishable as a human crotch – to release his flaccid member from an outcropping of silvery pubic hair, and he peed on the child. Neither said a word.
Breitbart wiped coke from his mustache, then lost his balance, collapsing into sturdy hotel furniture, driving a chair into the wall with a thud and a smoker’s cough. He quickly regained his composure, squinting to combat double vision toward the bed where a guest with backstage passes cowered palely in the fetal position. Across the floral pattern of a posh Hilton comforter, the child seemed a rare delicacy served up on a platter of foliage among which he was the flower.
“Spread ‘em,” commanded Breitbart through the darkness. “Roll over, and spread.”
The boy looked about seven, or maybe nine. His dad was a staunch supporter of the Second Amendment and admired Breitbart’s throbbing tirades against the Fourth Estate, who just lie to propagate the Jewish agenda. “Nothing but the best for my boy! Let him spend an afternoon with a real American hero, and see what a modern businessman does.” This was nothing new. The man was secretly afraid his son might be “turning into a faggot,” so he once bought him passes to the New York Giants locker room after their 2012 victory against the Patriots.
The boy rolled over and, with uncomfortable familiarity, did as he was told.
“Mm, good,” burped Breitbart, pumping his limp genitalia. “Now what does Daddy say about Reagan? You know the presidents, boy?”
“Reagan was a good president!” he recited tremulously.
“He was the best!” roared the conservative orator. “He won the fucking Cold War. He beat the Commies!” Breitbart was now sporting a self-supporting second stage erection, which he aimed at the child. But the young boy had not proven his loyalty to Reagan well enough to satisfy Breitbart.
“You like Star Wars?” Breitbart cajoled the child who still lay submissively on the bed. “Like the movies?”
“I like Jar Jar,” he said in a lighter tone. His muscles relaxed as the TV star and author appealed to his love for science fiction.
“Yeah, Ronald Reagan knew Star Wars. And with it, he scared those rubes into submission!” Breitbart pulsated, allowing a single drop of conviction to seep out, forming a clear bead. “Thanks to Ronald Reagan, we didn’t have to fire a shot.”
“Reagan liked Star Wars?” The boy was confused.
Breitbart dropped to his knees on the bed and positioned himself directly over the quivering mass of dry, supple flesh, which assumed innocent passivity. And reeking of fermentation, Andrew breathed hotly into his left ear, “Yeah. Reagan liked Star Wars.”
Our close friends within Anonymous infiltrated the e-mail accounts of Illuminati agents several months ago, waiting for the kind of scoop we got this morning. The following is an uncensored excerpt from an Illuminati e-mail which has not been fully disclosed to the public because of its sensitive nature and the extreme discretion Anonymous uses when dealing with Illuminati material.
“The target was intercepted at Tru Hollywood and the poison was administered with very little altercation. The agent was disposed of using the established Jack Ruby method.”
Anonymous generally keeps Illuminati related hacks close to their belt, but found it outrageous that their beloved Whitney Houston – with similar eyebrows to the iconic Guy Fawkes masks – was murdered just for the purpose of distracting people from the massacres the Illuminati are currently directing in Syria.
Our analysts suggest that this is the final straw for the Illuminati. Anonymous will soon be swept away with a single campaign of false flag murders from the Illuminati, posing as angry j35t3r fans and Zetas.