Rehtaeh Parsons is yet another glorious heroic suicide tied to the e-Rape phenomenon.
NOVA SCOTIA — Rehtaeh Parsons, a teen who was a victim of the new e-Rape phenomenon in which bullies share images and video of rape on the internet, joined Amanda Todd and other victims of e-Rape bullying in the pantheon of Glamorous Suicide Teen Queens. A memorial slideshow of pictures harvested from Facebook were featured in a Huffington Post story, which also said,
“Look at a young man you know, maybe a son or nephew or family friend, and imagine him as a rapist. Does that disgust you? Then teach him how not to be one, and talk to all the young people in your life what sexual assault is and how to know when consent has truly happened. Maybe then photos like the ones that haunted Rehtaeh Parsons won’t be spread around school hallways but instead will be reported to police, because they will be recognized for what they really are: evidence of a crime.”
As news agencies around the world feverishly post as many pictures of the young, attractive e-Rape victim as possible, the message which is sent to teenage girls is much more salient than the one intended for the teenage boys, who have been told they are rapists until programmed otherwise by caring, all-controlling parents. If you are an attractive teenage girl and a victim of e-Rape, you will surely find the sympathy you need in suicide, as Giovanna Plowman, Rehtaeh Parsons, and Amanda Todd before you.
INTERNET — The “Idea Channel,” a horrifying YouTube production from PBS which aims to educate and entertain within five lighting-fast minutes, has translated television pedagogy to the internet. Surprise! It’s incredibly bad. The painfully hip mustachio’d host Mike Rugnetta rattles off jargon and drops names in front of a backdrop of trendy old vinyl covers as images of his references flash by so quickly one show in 2012 reportedly triggered a wave of epileptic seizures. This “educational” program, tailored to victims of new media whose attention spans have evaporated, generally glosses over deep topics with a few bad jokes and glib statements. The fact that it seems jammed full of good information makes this insipid programming even more dangerous.
In the episode above, Rugnetta asks the question, “Are Cell Phones Replacing Reality?” Among such intellectual gems as, “Ubiquitous computing is awesome and important,” Rugnetta crosses into dangerous territory by calling French Post-Structuralist Jean Baudrillard a “Grumpy Gus.” After a pitiful thirty-second explanation of Baudrillard’s theory, Rugnetta presses the idea that cell phones might replace reality is “alarmist.” To really fill out his unintentionally ironic performance of precisely what Baudrillard has warned against, Rugnetta coldly delivers the verdict, “Being bored stinks, and also we’re more connected and more knowledgeable.” Thank goodness PBS is paying for the “Idea Channel” and funneling all this great knowledge straight to our cell phone. It would really suck to slog through years of sucky, boring media theory.
Illuminati leader Margaret Thatcher was murdered by the collective will of bitcoin owners.
LONDON — Margaret Thatcher, first female Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and high-ranking Illuminati member, succumbed to old age, making one bitcoin gambler and trained assassin, Ronnie Nitro, a millionaire overnight.
So-called death pools invite owners of bitcoins to bid on the time of death for celebrities, incentivizing free agent hit-men with the kind of big money that was once available only from the evil hands of super-rich. While Margaret Thatcher appears to have died peacefully, others believe her death was orchestrated and timed by subversive bitcoin owners fighting to quell Illuminati machinations.
If this is true, then for the first time, bitcoin has given the masses the same kind of money-moving inertia once available only to the super rich, and the proliferation of death pools may very well shatter their iron grip on government and business, clearing the way for young aspiring hip hop stars who are surely being suppressed by the Illuminati in the same way Michael Jackson was repeatedly poisoned, framed, maimed, and eventually murdered for their Satanic purposes.
INTERNET — Barrett Brown, who conspired with Hector Monsegur AKA Sabu in snitching out millions of righteous Anonymous virtual sit-in activists, revealed from prison to the despicable tabloid, Vice magazine, that his imprisonment was all an intentional publicity stunt meant to bring attention to fake government-sponsored facebook and Twitter profiles currently spreading virulent propaganda across the world. Why was Brown arrested, and why did he seemingly turn on his shadowy government keepers?
Brown’s Project PM, an open-source digital snitch tank, where the PM literally stands for “Persona Management,” acted like flypaper for subversive elements so Feds could easily monitor their every behavior. Some even go so far as to believe Brown was hired by HB Gary as part of an operation to bring lots of scary press down on shady cabals of super-elite hackers who really don’t exist. His bombastic, orthodox, and arrogant style did much to project a clear image to folks at home that he represented the “hacking collective” Anonymous, and that they should be very afraid of the impending global revolution cyberwarriors would spearhead within the next five years. Of course, these were the statements of a provocateur, dripping with fish-hooks baiting like-minded people into a totally government-controlled honeypot, the so-called nerve center of Anonymous, Anon Ops.
As it turns out, Jenna Deville, member of a private contractor competing with Brown’s Project PM and ex-Mossad Krav Maga instructor, seduced and then drugged Brown with a powerful weaponized hallucinogen, thrusting him into a delusional state that caused him to temporarily flip his allegiance from the FBI to Anonymous, and in this drugged state, Brown threatened the children of a character from the Matrix movie series. Deville is said to have conspired with Adrian Lamo, and is rumored to also be affiliated with his group, Project Vigilant.
John Thiessen, acting head of Project PM, has warned against so-called apologists for Deville. “She’s a rat, and I’ve always known it. Barrett Brown was a child prodigy, a very intelligent and close friend of mine. These government sock puppets out there are doing it people. They’re lying to you. They get these beautiful women as their profile and then they hook you in, brainwash you.”
NOVATO, CALIF. (2-7-2012) - An anonymous internet user going by the name of OP released the bank account numbers, Social Security Numbers, phone numbers and addresses of a massive number of Novato residents Saturday.
The individual, who seemingly appeared out of the blue, addressed the anonymous website as his “crew,” using rhyming language.
Rumors are circulating that the information passed down originated from an accomplished hacker group comprised of remnants of LulzSec.
As leaks poured out, anonymous internet users suspected they might be credit cards, but later determined the leaked information was bank account numbers issued by Westamerica Bank, a local bank of California which issues ten digit account numbers like are found in the leaks, or “dox,” the term sometimes used for the disclosure of sensitive information.
Do you remember me?
Infamous I was
Fucking shit up, causing quite the buzz
I belonged to a team
With a hacker like theme
Now I’m lurking here
For a crew thats top tier
I have a plan thats 4 years in the making
And soon we’ll have what’s ours for the taking
A handful of brave or reckless individuals logged into the bank website using the details.
Others signed up for accounts using the credit information, immediately followed by declarations of deletion of virtual machines, as well as paranoia fueled incineration of their hard drives.
Another user asked, “what did they do to you OP? Seriously, not the whole fucking town could have wronged you.”
“OP” refers to the “original poster,” who has acknowledged the extreme likelihood of going to prison as a result of his or her actions.
After some investigation, it was determined OP’s identity might possibly have something to do with Jack Briner who, in 1997, used stolen lists of information from his former bank of employment for use at Westmerica Bank. Google results reveal Jack Briner is teaching economics to the upcoming best-and-brightest of San Jose.
OP was particularly inclined to call out an individual by the name of Jim Greenway, whose SSN was referenced repeatedly and explicitly. OP added, “the rest and greenway shall pay.”
UPDATE: Jim Greenway is a bank branch manager.
After posting the 25th batch of account numbers, OP quipped, “Don’t fuck with me, I’m football team,” spawning a meme which, as time goes on, will likely gain notoriety with its obscurity.
Also, there was a four hour countdown. At zero hour, this happened:
greenway is gone
i have set us up the bomb
time to say goodbye
as i too shall die
“Came. Stripped. Conquered.” is the slogan of a social movement which has thousands of young women stripping publicly in defiance of the patriarchy and posting images of their ripe young bodies across sites like Tumblr and Twitter, and which are later re-posted to 4chan and Motherless.com.
A male source close to Femen.info, who wished to remain anonymous because of his position within the protest movement, gratuitously described a male-oriented conspiracy to obtain more “selfies” (images women take of themselves, usually standing in front of a mirror partially or completely naked). He said the movement toward “women flashing their t— on the internet” was a concept “too good to have originated from a woman’s mind,” but was co-opted from the start by men to see how far a woman will go to prove she is not just something for men to look at.
They went full circle and showed us their tits to protest our desire to see their tits.
During a discussion among male friends, the source asked himself, “What are women willing to be tricked to do that would create an illusion of empowerment and at the same time exploit them for our admittedly devious, and sexual, purposes?” Turns out, he said, women are willing to do more than he expected. “They went full circle and showed us their tits to protest our desire to see their tits,” he said. “It took only the slightest hint of suggestion to get these dumb bitches started. It’s like they wanted it. Thank God it’s only the hot ones came out.”
MIT Sociological Correspondent Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedauer said he first noticed a step in the wrong direction when the “womyn” of the Femen movement attempted to cross cultural boundaries to tell Muslim women their head scarves are oppressing them.
“Some women are doing exactly what they’re fighting against,” Troubadauer said, “by telling burqa-clad Muslims what they should or should not wear.” The majority of Muslim women, however, are comfortable wearing the burqa because they widely regard proper head wear to be the mark of upstanding lady-hood. “When these women tell the Muslim female population they don’t have to wear the head scarf, their response is, ‘We know. We also don’t have to get naked to prove a point.’”
You can’t invent irony like this.
Calmann-Lévy has authored a book entitled Femen but because it is written in French – the most pretentious of languages – its contents could not be deciphered.
Columns of text walls unfortunately lead to a black-and-white absence of juicy photographs, therefore Chronicle.su literary critics say the material can be safely ignored.
Staff writer Julius Pontenego suggested searching tumblr for the hashtag #femen “as it is a near-endless resource of wank material” worthy of the progressive, and yet manly, strong minds of our audience.
This image gallery is brought to you graciously by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
She’s totally asking for it.
Stupid Muslims need Femen to show them the light!
This image was censored by its poster who probably wanted to protect the overly sensitive patriarchy.
PYONGYANG — Thursday evening, Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un revealed to pathetic American audiences his secret life as K-pop star PSY, of “Gangnam Style” fame. The “Gangnam Style” YouTube video was viewed more than any video in the history of time, fulfilling the Kim Dynasty’s global dominance and the cultural manifest destiny of Juche Ideology. Both Noam Chomsky and UN chief Ban Ki-moon were swept up in the Kim family’s ingenious culture-jamming plot, which required Jong-Un’s younger brother, Kim Mok-Jong, to stand-in for him at home in North Korea.
By whipping up a global hysteria with heroic nuclear tests and bombastic rhetoric, Glorious Leader Kim Jong-Un has drawn the greatest amount of attention simply to reveal this impeccable and magnificent prank. Cultural Anthropologist Dr. Ng Tong, who is credited with writing Gangnam Style, said, “The inferior Caucasian and African minds were not able to understand the overt anti-American messages of Gangnam Style, but it nonetheless became the most popular song. We can create hit songs like this at will, and over time we believe it will spell a final global victory for Kim Jong-Un.”
Bitcoins may soon be worth next to nothing at all.
INTERNET — New hardware designed by Butterfly Labs promises to mine bitcoins more cheaply than ever before. If you aren’t familiar with bitcoins, they are a digital currency deriving their rarity and value through advanced cryptographic algorithms. Only so many bitcoins can be “found,” and they first wind up in the hands of those with enough computing cycles to slog through the complicated math.
In the past, the price of electricity did not make bitcoin mining a profitable endeavor, but engineers at Butterfly Labs have built a line of machines specifically designed to mine more bitcoins than ever before while using a minimal amount of electricity. Thousands of these mining machines have been pre-ordered and will soon ship to eager consumers hungry to make a quick buck.
Recently, the bitcoin market has been hit with severe hyper-deflation, and this rapid increase in bitcoin value could cause trading on the market to freeze up. In the past month, the price of a bitcoin has skyrocketed from $40 to nearly $100. Analysts concerned about new mining technology warn that this bubble may soon burst.
Haters rejoiced late Easter Sunday, as a plot was devised to devour and destroy the illustrious and mighty Internet Chronicle. The plan was hatched on an encrypted video chat platform that only hackers use, called “TinyChat“. We managed to grab a few logs from the encrypted chat, but they were using what we believe may be the SHA-1 hash function so we could only decrypt parts of it.
The hack was done by the great and knowledgeable Hack Forums Hero known as f0rsaken aka hoic aka @itsd00m. He is well versed in social engineering trickery, such as jacking amazon accounts and some say he may have a “botnet,” but these are simply unconfirmed allegations.
While the deface was rather gauche, it did provide clear dox of all Chronicle.su employees and their families, while giving a nod to the great John Thiessen, aka Ron Brynaert. “#hatesec” was plastered all over the site, which seems to be a new hacking group with more skills than Dan Kaminsky, as they poisoned the Chronicles DNS and rerouted all traffic to 9gag, all the while maintaining root and mining information to SWAT people with.
As you can see, the critical infrastructure of the site is completely crippled and our lives are all over.
Amnesty International claims that the country is running death camps. But there is a tilt relationship with the country that the U.S. military power structure has yet to admire: China. The DPRK wants to be taken seriously by the so-called international community. And in doing so they have failed miserably to communicate in English to the Western powers that they so feel antagonize them. It is in the interest of international peace and cooperation that we translate — despite not speaking 조선말– the state’s comments into terms that are more immediately understandable by international audiences. They will bode better on Google Translate, or whichever format you might wish to view this page.
Imperialist encroachments upon supreme interests have become grave, as have violations of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea sovereignty. As a result, the dearly respected Marshal Kim Jong-un, brilliant commander of Mt. Paektu — before examining and ratifying a firepower strike plan — convened an urgent operation meeting on the firepower-strike duty performance of the Strategic Rocket Force of the Korean People’s Army.
The declaration of a do-or-die battle is Marshal Kim’s decision: a choice to provide an epochal occasion for ending the long-standing showdown with the United States, opening a new era. It is also a last warning of justice served to the United States, the south Korean group and other hostile anti-reunification forces. The decision reflects the strong will of the DPRK people to annihilate the enemies.
Now surges the anger of the heroic service personnel, along with all other DPRK people, at the U.S. imperialists’ reckless war provocations. Also surges a strong will to turn out as one in the death-defying battle with the enemies and to achieve finalizing victory in the great reunification war. This will is true to Kim Jong-un’s important decision.
In its previous statement, KPA Supreme Command solemnly declared at home and abroad the people’s will to take decisive military counteraction to defend sovereignty. KPA Supreme Command also declared the people’s will to defend the dignity of supreme leadership with regard to extreme south Korean puppet and U.S. provocations.
Not content after repeated warnings to disallow successive B-52s sorties in south Korean skies, the United States deployed other ultra-modern strategic strike forces, such as B-2A stealth strategic bombers, to south Korea. These bombing drills targeted the DPRK. This is an unpardonable, heinous provocation; and an open challenge.
Taking advantage of the reckless U.S. nuclear campaign against the DPRK, south Korean puppets vociferated about the terms “pre-emptive attack,” “strong counteraction” and even “strikes[s] at the commanding forces,” subsequently revealing the attempt to destroy monuments to the dignity of DPRK supreme leadership.
This clearly shows that U.S. brigandish ambition for aggression and the puppets’ attempt to invade the DPRK have gone beyond the limit, and that — after visiting a phase of threat and blackmail — threats have entered the reckless phase of an actual war.
Moreover the prevailing, grim situation clearly justifies the KPA Supreme Command in deciding to settle accounts with the U.S. imperialists and south Korean puppets by dint of the arms of Songun. A time when words could work has passed.
Now they are openly claiming that B-2As’ nuclear drills were “not to irritate the north” but “defensive.” Additionally, the United States says the drills are “to defend the interests of its ally.” However this lame pretext covers up aggression; evades denunciation at home, abroad; and attempts escape from DPRK retaliatory blows.
The era when the United States resorted to the policy of strength by brandishing nuclear weapons has gone.
The DPRK’s resolute answer and steadfast stand is to counter U.S. imperialists’ blackmail of aggressive, merciless nuclear attack with just, all-out war.
The imperialists should clearly know that in the era of Marshal Kim Jong-un, the greatest-ever commander, all things are different than in the past.
The hostile forces will realize clearly the iron will, matchless grit and extraordinary mettle of the brilliant commander of Mt. Paektu insofar as, without Songun Korea, the earth cannot exist.
The time has come to stage a do-or-die final battle.
The government, political parties and organizations of the DPRK solemnly declare as follows, reflecting upon Kim Jong-un’s final decision at the KPA Supreme Command operation meeting and the unanimous will of the DPRK’s people. The people await this final order from Kim:
(1) From this moment, north-south relations will be put at the state of war, and all issues arousing tensions between the north and the south will be dealt with according to wartime regulations.
The neither-peace-nor-war state has ended on the Korean Peninsula.
Now that the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK have entered into actual military action, inter-Korean relations have naturally entered the state of war. Accordingly, without warning, the DPRK will now punish with resolute and merciless physical action the slightest provocation against dignity and sovereignty.
(2) If the United States and the south Korean puppet group provoke war against the DPRK in any area, including the West Sea of Korea’s five islands or in the area along the Military Demarcation Line, theirs will not be a local war but will develop into an all-out war: a nuclear war.
It is self-evident that any Korean Peninsula military conflict is bound to lead to nuclear war, now that even U.S. nuclear strategic bombers in the Korean mainland and Pacific military bases — Hawaii and Guamare — are flying into south Korean skies to participate in madcap, DPRK-targeting nuclear moves.
The first strike of the DPRK’s revolutionary armed forces is to blow up aggressive U.S. bases in mainland Korea and Pacific operational theatres, including Hawaii and Guam; but additionally, to reduce U.S. military bases in south Korea. Included in the first strike is the puppets’ ruling institutions (such as Chongwadae), as well as the imperative to reduce to ashes the puppet army — to say nothing of the aggressors and the provokers.
(3) The DPRK will never miss the golden chance to win a final victory in the great war for national reunification.
This war will not be a three-day but a blitz war through which the KPA will occupy all areas of south Korea — including Jeju Island at one strike, not giving the U.S. and puppet warmongers time to come to their senses — and a three-dimensional war to be fought at air, land, sea, on the front line and in the rear.
This sacred war of justice will be a nationwide, all-people resistance involving all Koreans in the north, the south and overseas. Traitors to the nation — including heinous confrontation maniacs, warmongers and human scum — will be swept away mercilessly.
No force on earth can break the people’s all-out will to overpower in the just, great national Korean reunification war.
Holding in high esteem the peerlessly great men of Mt. Paektu, the Korean people will give vent to the pent-up grudge and realize their cherished desire; thusly bringing the bright day of national reunification and without fail building the best power on this land.
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