Categories
World

Germany stopped sharing internet surveillance info with the NSA because both nations use the same spy software

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is under new pressure to choose a sex already.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel is under new pressure to choose a sex already.

BERLIN — Germany’s surveillance agency, the BND, used to spy for the NSA in the the United States. They stopped, however, when news broke they were sharing their communications with USA, which pissed a lot of people off.

“A row” following bad press in the German government seems to have put a stop to certain surveillance sharing, but does that really mean anything?

Both Germany and the US, as well as Canada, Iran, China, Russia and even fucking Macedonia (and a bunch of other countries that has many thinking “why the fuck would they need THAT?) are all using more or less the same spy software suite as the US, which pretty much makes all spy agencies the same in terms of what they are technically capable of.

So no, it doesn’t mean shit. Germany, just like the United States, Canada and Mexico, and whoever else owns that software – including the companies that engineered it – are all equally capable of spying on the same stuff, regardless of the imaginary territorial boundaries subjects of the nation state believe they are protected by.

So the next time you are farting around on Facebook and you think you’re being funny, making remarks like, “Oh man I hope NSA doesn’t have a copy of THIS drunk text!” maybe instead you will remember that more than 40 countries have copies of everything you do online, and with the new wave of legislation to legalize ongoing surveillance techniques, the only legal protection you truly have is to not use the Internet.

And you read it here, on the Internet Chronicle.

Get fucked, political junkies. This was never up for debate.

Categories
World

US-backed bombing of Yemen surprises no one

All four top advisers to the UN Human Rights Council were bored with the predictable news of the US backing a Saudi push into Iranian-allied territories
All four top advisers to the UN Human Rights Council were bored by the predictable news of a US-backed Saudi push into Yemen.

WASHINGTON, D.C. Literally no one was shocked to learn of a Saudi Arabian airstrike against the Haradh district of northern Yemen on Monday.

Angstrom Trodlinyiavic, a chief member of the UN human rights council, said he is surprised the bombing only targeted military installations, when everyone knows it is the barbaric women and children of Yemen who are to blame for their country’s upheaval.

“I am only in favor of toppling dictators who oppose American interests,” Troubadour said. “Human rights abuses by Hosni Mubarak to Saddam Hussein had no rhyme or reason. Those men were tyrants. Barack Hussein, on the other hand, and Abdullah of Saudi Arabia only skirt human rights when they absolutely need to. That is the difference with which I rationalize this contradictory, and offensive, narrative.”

A Saudi-led coalition of desert warriors is forming a united military front against the Iranian controlled Houthi militiamen, who are known within intelligence communities to be dangerously equipped with the world’s most advanced pointed sticks and semiautomatic small arms. As the group advances south, toward the city of Aden, Yemen President Rabbu Mansour Hadi is feeling greater pressure than ever to sign off on construction of a new chain of Arby’s restaurants across the northern region of the country.

Categories
World

World leaders: US staged Charlie Hebdo terrorist attack

EXCLUSIVE! Chronicle.su is the only publication cleared to run this cartoon in the entire Soviet Union!
EXCLUSIVE! Chronicle.su is the only publication cleared to run this cartoon in the entire Soviet Union!

New analysis indicates US intelligence agencies facilitated the shooting at the Charlie Hebdo office in Paris last week that killed 12 people including an editor of the paper and two heroic police officers. According to foreign policy analyst and terror scholar Alexei Martynov, US and Israeli co-conspirators launched the attack to destabilize European solidarity and inflame Islamic xenophobia in their Western allies.

Turkey’s Prime Minister echoed Russian accusations that the US organized the attack with Israel. Israel, he said, was happy to go along with the plan because Charlie Hebdo attacked Judaism as well, an article for which a French satirist was fired and denied “rights” to free expression.

“They are constantly propping up their Zionist hatefriends,” the PM said. “They are jealous of our freedom and they hate our way of life, so long as it is not spent in Israel’s servitude.”

Fresh faces who, prior to the Jan. 7 attack had never heard of Charlie Hebdo, now tag Facebook and Twitter posts with #JeSuisCharlie – a transparent show of support for the sanctity of satire they neither read nor understand – and a nod of support to American incursions into foreign lands and domestic civil liberties.

The hacker collective Anonymous – which is controlled almost exclusively by federal agents – has vowed to track down all unknown Islamists, wherever they hide, and to dox and expose them to random acts of savagery. The group has already renewed a global attack on Urdu speaking websites the likes of which the world has not seen since th3je5t3r took Slowloris live in 2011.

The US, England and France have already prepared new emergency controls that would curtail Internet “freedoms” to help make everyone safer and prevent another Charlie Hebdo, including the broadening of the definition of ‘terror suspect’ as well as new abilities to legally break or prevent encryption, such as the kind employed by Tor, a government project.