Get used to the Teenage Female Bullying-Suicide Heroes
NEW YORK — Fifteen-year-old Amanda-Todd-Wannabe Felicia Garcia jumped in front of a train after vicious bullying, following her appearance in a football team gangbang video passed around her high school. The male members of the gangbang were greeted with high fives and mute admiration from school teachers who saw the video. Over 200 of Garcia’s classmates were present at the suicide.
Knowing, from the example of Amanda Todd, that her death would lead to unlimited posthumous social acceptance in the face of bottomless rejection by the repressive sex-negative culture of America, Garcia threw herself into the train with cold confidence, by all accounts.
This is yet more undeniable proof that a firm clampdown on freedom of speech should take place immediately. Young girls are going to start dropping off like lemmings because of this totally brand-new phenomenon of “slut-shaming” that never existed before Anonymous comments on the Internet. The oncoming string of teenage suicides has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the worship of Amanda Todd.
Neighbors and ministers were startled by the appearance of Ashley Johnson, 17, in the Roanoke County First Baptist Church congregation Sunday morning.
With daring hairstyles and casual hoodies, Ashley challenges the age-old precept of blowhard Christian conformity.
Ashley fears society is losing faith in Christ as an alternative to the ways of Satan. Ashley said he is trying to make worshiping Jesus cool again. “I hope younger folks will see that cool people love Jesus, too. And why not? I mean, Jesus died for ours sins, and I think that’s pretty cool.”
“Life is sacred, and society seems to have forgotten that,” said Ashley, but asserted he is “still pro-choice, as long as women are being awesome by keeping their unborn fetus.” Ashley warned pregnant teens they must learn to deal with their choices to get pregnant by remaining pregnant.
“I want to show people you can give your heart to Jesus without conforming to society’s backward norms.”
In tandem with his newfound convictions, Ashley has given up dangerous drugs like beer and marijuana, and stopped having sex with girls, “Which is easy,” Ashley said, “if you just don’t start.”
Join me, and I’ll get you a new iPod.
Lord Jesus God
Ashley recently found Jesus after losing his iPod during a “bad trip” on marijuana. “But Jesus spoke to me,” he said. “[Jesus Christ] said, ‘Join me, and I’ll get you a new iPod.’”
Sure enough, Ashley said, Jesus Christ came through. Just four months after accepting Christ as his Lord and Savior, a man in his youth group offered the young boy his old, used iPod. “He said he didn’t need it anymore, so I could have it.” About six months later, Ashley said, the man brought him closer to Jesus than he ever thought was possible. And finally – after ten months of devoted, repeated forced religious practice in that man’s vehicle – Ashley received his free iPod, securing his faith in our Lord.
Ashley said he will continue to ward off Satan’s vices by remaining loyal to Apple products, and abstaining from secular music like White Stripes, and the Magnetic Fields.
“You can’t hold onto hate. I used to hate my abusers for what they did to me, and I hated people who took me away from God. But now I don’t hate anything, except for terrorists, really. And Islam.”
“If it’s not true for you, it’s not true.”
- Lafayette Ronald Hubbard
RICHMOND, VA. – By 11 a.m. on April 12, 2008, a variety of sunglasses-wearing characters had showed up, only nine in number perhaps, but persistent nonetheless. Their handheld signs disparaged the tax-exempt status of the Church of Scientology for various reasons, including its use of private investigators and what some have considered to be practices physiologically predatory in the purview of mainstream culture. Famously, as the result of a landmark “South Park” episode, the church has been the subject of all manner of ridicule, particularly for its myths about the origins of human strife.
In the words of its founder, L. Ron Hubbard, in the Operating Thetan III technical bulletin:
“The head of the Galactic Confederation (76 planets around larger stars visible from here) (founded 95,000,000 yrs ago, very space opera) solved overpopulation (250 billion or so per planet — 178 billion on average) by mass implanting. He caused people to be brought to Teegeeack (Earth) and put an H Bomb on the principal volcanoes (Incident 2) and then the Pacific area ones were taken in boxes to Hawaii and the Atlantic area ones to Las Palmas and there ‘packaged’. His name was Xenu. He used renegades. Various misleading data by mean of circuits, etc. was placed in the implants. When through with his crime, Loyal Officers (to the people) captured him after 6 years of battle and put him in an electronic mountain trap where he still is. ‘They’ are gone. The place (Confed.) has since been a desert.”
Last month was my first official interview with church officials, and the whole rendezvous answered few questions and provoked insulting lies on behalf of both parties. “Sophia Alvarez” is not the real name of the woman who accompanied me into this interview at Manhattan’s Scientology center in Times Square.
CAROL: Through history man has been trying to solve his problems. He’ s done all sorts of things. And many men, including [Aristotle] , have found pieces to the puzzle. It’s not until Mr. Hubbard did the research and found Dianetics did he find all the pieces and aligned them. The only way you know that’s true is when you read it because it’s based on the physical laws of the universe. It’s not mystical. It’s not positive thinking. It’s not anything that’s mysterious. It’s based on physical laws. So when applied to a human being it works uniformly only if they have had drugs. When you were into therapy, did you have drugs?
SOPHIA ALVAREZ: No.
CAROL: Good. Absolutely good for you, or some kind of evasive treatment that psychiatrists do — lobotomies and shock t reatments, or things of that nature, is the time that Dianetics will not work for you because they have destroyed the parts of the mind to track what has occured to it .
TYLER BASS: Well, I definitely used a wide variety of pharmaceutical agents offered by psychiatry myself, when I was a c hi ld. A whole cocktail!
CAROL: What was the reason?
BASS: I suppose the intent was to treat depression, to say nothing of Scientology, but I wouldn’t say that they worked, the drugs. I was also given Adderall, about psychology, and I think they are well-advised. Oh, also Paxil, especially that one.
CAROL: All of them, sir. All of them.
I felt I had to concede to Scientology some rightful disdain for a pharmaceutical establishment that actually markets anti-depressants on television. If those medications were so essential, then why would they need to make glitz advertisements? For an interesting point of comparison, imagine if grocery stores started to run advertisements for fruits : “Come down to Kroger and try bananas, by Dole. Potassium: invaluable to brain function! ”
Carol communicated her frustration with how she perceived psychiatrists confusing matter with the mind. “The brain, ” she said, “ is like your left leg. It has no more to do with the source of your problems, than if you had a broken leg.”
Janet Reitman at Rolling Stone wrote an excellent article two years before in which she actually got an answer about Xenu, as someone uninitiated, from Scientologific. From that issue:
“[Sea Org member, Mike] Rinder has fielded questions on Scientology’ s beliefs for years. When I ask him whether there is any validity to the Xenu story, he gets red-f aced, almost going into a tirade. ‘It is not a story, it is an auditing level, ’ he says, neither confirming nor denying that this theology exists.”
However, as Alvarez and I would learn in New York City, apparently the church was not willing to keep its story straight on that point.
BASS: I was reading an article. Scientology allowed a PR person to interact with a reporter from Rolling Stone last year. They invited him [sic] to one of their centers in California, and he [sic] asked Scientology what was up with the Xenu story.
CAROL: Wha — what?
[This was the money shot the reporter had come for - ed]
Here, Carol’ s eyes narrowed in what was a halfway honorable but fatuous attempt, nonetheless, to deny having heard of the name of the former intergalactic ruler plastered count less times on the pages and blogs of news monkeys, particularly as then recently as February 2008, when a certain Internet-based group called “Anonymous ” orchestrated protests to increase Xenu awareness.
By that juncture in the interview, I knew that all forthrightness was about to shatter into a thousand pieces on both sides; that is apart from the fact that I had given phony names for myself and “Alvarez” on the way in. That blip from Mel Brook’s film “Robin Hood: Men In Tights” where all of Robin Hood’ s men are simultaneously “bullshit”-coughing, played on loop as Carol began a cat-and-mouse game for the rest of the interview where she lied, knew I knew she was lying, yet tried to give me an answer without giving me an answer.
CAROL: I don’t [sic] know [sic] what [sic] that [sic] is [sic].
BASS: The person replied that it is not a story; it is an auditing level.
BASS: Xenu. Yeah, this was a PR person for Scientology. I am not making this up.
A few moments later, after she had extrapolated for a while on the nature of Scientology’s organized, therapeutic hierarchy, Carol laid down a true gem of a quote that should in all rightness serve as an eternal landmark to the bleach- strong brand of cognitive dissonance available to all inside the walls of Manhattan’s Scientology church.
CAROL: I am going to tell you: Anybody who would reveal — or, “reveal” is the wrong word — say things such as that, it’s kind of like, my trying to verbally explain what LRH was taking some 4 or 500 pages to deliver to you people. It would be like my trying to explain it to you. There are such falsehoods. None of it is true. The only way to know what is on this OT III level is by doing it . Then, he knows what’s on there.
So, in a way, my question was answered, as she referred to OT III, which I had not previously associated with church-ordained knowledge of Xenu (although it certainly is). The kind of semantic runaround regarding the name of Xenu, however, was below mockery at that point. L. Ron Hubbard had no ability to predict the effect of the Internet.
BASS: Here’s what I know: It could be just a complete forgery, and I could be just a fool, but I mean, the point is this. You know, the people who reach that level are told not to disclose any of it .
CAROL: Well, I want to say something to you. Here’s the truth of it: Unless you have done these gradient levels, and I could communicate to you what I have gotten out of [the auditing level] Clear, it might not be real to you. So for me to tell you what I am experiencing that isn’t real, or isn’t real for you but real for me, would be like a distortion of what it is to be Clear. I can communicate to you that I have bursts of personal freedom, that — I can describe it in certain ways in which you have some reality on it, but if I were to tell you that I contacted a past life — now that may be true or that may not be true – but what are you going to think? ‘Is she a nut?’ Every person should seek it out for themselves.
At this point, I figured, aw, shucks, and admitted to having read the highly illicit OT III technical manual. She acted like she was completely surprised, even though it is available at countless destination spots across the Internet’s torrent underground. It is difficult to describe the immensity of the temptation at the time to pull out my laptop and show her all of the copyrighted files, but these Scientologists were famous for their copyright law voodoo. I had neither the means nor the willingness to deal with the fact that she might have had some rapport with the police at the door to deal with researchers such as myself. I held off the temptation of watching her reaction to Hubbard’s own handwriting spelling “Xenu” on a monitor in the interest of avoiding a tangle with the Church.
CAROL: You have read untruths. Total bullshit. It’s distorted. It’s meant to make us look like imbeciles because of one reason alone, one reason only, and I am going to tell you this: There are forces out there — drugs, bikers, oil mongers; there are a couple of others, the media — who try to enslave our society by their lies. This organization is the most ethical, the most sane, the most supportive; has the tools that can allow people to have some personal freedom.
ALVAREZ: So many people don’t go that way.
CAROL: I’m telling you because, if somebody puts, he says, confidential material from upper levels and puts it on the Internet – first of all, anybody who would attain this state of awareness wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t do it . He just wouldn’t because he has compassion to reach the state where he would include mankind rather than individualize himself.
While I was too often a fan of flattering myself as an influential member of the news media , my agenda to ens lave my readers was no t been working out so well at the time. I have been researching Scientology for years and have regarded Operating Thetan documents from a variety of sources. Someone, somebody within the church has not only released these documents, but in all serious likelihood this has happened repeatedly. In this respect, Carol was either sincerely duping herself or lying very hard. Essentially, she posits that someone would take the time to forge what are thousands of pages of documents.
What I leave open for all of you Scientology haters out there is this: Would Carol’ s insistence that the documents I saw were fake on the basis of that “fact ” that no Scientologist would ever disclose them provide in court the legal framework to endlessly distribute Scientology’s copyrighted internal documents on the World Wide Web? If Carol were right, then there would be no harm because the documents could not conceivably belong to the church.
The interview with Carol had numerous other brilliant moments of misdirection, prevarication and avoidance on her part. (Our overlords and slave masters, psychiatrists, sometimes refer to this as “blocking.”) These included her denying having heard of the term “Freezoner” to describe the church’ s debased Hubbard-ite relatives practicing in the Eastern Bloc and Germany outside of the financial triangle of Church President David Miscavige .
Of course Carol would trash the German government, which has criminalized Scientology as “oppressive” (thus driving underground the “Freezone” movement). So in a supreme instance of irony, she expressed resentment of the persecutor and the persecuted, who when pressed, in contradiction to her earlier denial of their very existence, she would acknowledge merely as “not practicing Scientology.”
Anonymous has created a piece of software which partially automates the process of successfully achieving a YouTube partnership. Once an account has been approved, a sophisticated algorithm then finds the most popular videos and posts duplicate videos titled with a nonsense list of the most popular SEO terms. In many cases, these videos have received more views than the original material. A representative of Youtube told us, “YouTube has been able to keep this kind of activity suppressed in the past, but this new piece of software from Anonymous has completely overwhelmed us.” The millions received by Anonymous from this scheme is suspected to have been funneled into anti-copyright lobbyists in the form of bitcoin donations, but there is no way to know for sure.
#OpCopyrightThis, as it is known, also set up its own alternative to YouTube, AnonTube, which is hosted on cloud space rented from a Russian company that doesn’t ask questions. AnonTube features insane amounts of porn as well as Justin Bieber, Akon, and Kanye West music videos. An Anonymous source said, “We are setting up streaming network television shows and hope to stream every single cable channel in time.” This bold use of blackhat SEO combined with copyright theft and corporate advertisement is a remarkably ironic way to fight for freedom from the corporate tyranny of manufactured copyright authority.
One Anon said, “Bitcoin is just like Tor, you’re perfectly safe! Transaction invisible!”
Editor’s note: Stealing copyrighted material and selling corporate ads for its distribution is always a great activity, and I recommend it if you need a few bucks. The more people do it, the harder it will be to stop. Trust me, we need to lube our lobbyists up with cash and get them bribing elected officials if we want some change, and it’s not so hard when you just use bitcoins and put corporate ads on stolen copyrighted material. FINALLY, criminals like us, with millions of stolen dollars, can participate in the political process like a corporation!!!1 No one will know where the shit came from, and no one can fucking ever know! In fact, send the bitcoins to Chronicle.SU, and you can trust we’ll take care of the rest. Here’s our address: 18zJouAQAMzX5sJygZ4M2QV7yb8FzxSbdq Fractions of Bitcoins Welcome!
I, Joe Six Pack, pledge allegiance to the United States of America. In doing so, I equate the value of the dollar with my own salvation. Until the dollar is as strong – or weak – as my corporate masters deem suitable, I will not rest. O International Monetary Fund! Hath we never done no ill will toward you, yea, we seek austerity measures in your honor. We hath sacrificed health care in your honor. We hath compromised human rights, dignity and overall health in your name. Lo, how better can we serve you than to carpet your fine mahogany offices with the very skin of your most devout followers, so that each day you may trample upon our faces and we may taste with our own tongues your unending contempt for the consumers that built you. In Strauss-Kahn’s name, amen.
Leave comments below confessing your own Christlike love for Capitalism.
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Internet–Jamie Jo Corne, real life journalist and publicist for presstorm.com, tragically resorted to posting nude photographs of herself via flickr after church Sunday following a bout with bulimia and self-hatred.
Mr. Corne, the editor of cesstorm who goes by @vincubusdante, came up with the idea while collaborating with outside experts on the matter of manipulating search results to save face and suppress dissent. [LEAKED AUDIO BELOW]
Inside sources close to presstorm suggest editorial duties have fallen upon the ancient @vincubusdante because his babymachine is too busy providing milk to the sucklings to defend herself.
Using Murdoch-approved hacked phone records and coercion techniques, Chronicle.SU recovered the actual phone call taking place between Mr. Corne and the Internet Police:
Big new websites are springing up to say the same old shit, big old bad guys now look like mute Bill O’Reillys, and there are still serious problems so large in the political system, human injustices so glaring yet so daunting, no anonymous Twitter feed dare mention them.
Brace yourselves, kids, because I’m about to let you have it. Playtime is over and it’s high time you pulled your heads out of your asses now.
You kids are too stupid to acknowledge the host lest it legitimize the parasite. I’m talking about congressional vote selling, telcoms stealing your internet, campaign finance reform. Attack this shit, you pussies! God damn it, help the real world fucking change something! You can’t DDoS cash incentives. Of course, you won’t be DDoSing SHIT when Cox Communications caps your bandwidth but what do you know about that?
You like to pretend like you’re doing something so controversial your pathetic lives are actually in some sort of danger but you can’t stop anything meaningful, nothing truly sinister, from taking place – or else you really would have a gun stuck in your face at 4 a.m. but you won’t. Because the real world doesn’t fuck around, but you wouldn’t know anything about that either. So you prance around like a faggot in his mother’s underwear behind Twitter accounts, IRC networks, Gay Fawkes masks, and talk about how badass you think you are to 1,000 people doing the same thing.
That’s just your behavior, though. And I don’t care about any of your ideals because I can see plainly that you don’t either. You’re just not passionate about anything except #opBART only because you’ve made that “operation” more about your faggy “anonymous” movement than a boy being shot – than freedom of speech itself. Remember when protests were called protests and didn’t need gung-ho internet terminology attached to them to motivate the youth? Yeah, me either, because my generation’s never had a spine.
The only useful effort I’ve seen put forth by people calling themselves anonymous – that doesn’t appear to be some anarchistic impulse of provocation, that doesn’t appear to be juvenile nor embarrass me on your behalf, is the effort of @AnonMedics. Damn, that’s awesome. You better be glad somebody’s following you around, ready to pull you out of whatever trouble your juvenile delinquency gets you into. Because I sure as hell wouldn’t wipe your ass if you shat yourself at my protest.
Whether you’re #antisec or #prosec – nobody gives a fuck because to onlookers you are full of redfaced angry nerdrage that embarrasses anyone who ever thought there might be this mysterious behind the scenes hacker group making big things happen. Grayhats, whitehats, blackhats – all subjective terminology like ‘terrorist’ and ‘freedom fighter’ except the only people who give a fuck is you and your hapless victims.
Also, I thought you were anarchists? So then why is this pussy crying about an attack on the state? You kids are inconsistent, shameful failures.
Your sweeping general statements about politics and law are laughably reproducible. Your arguments sound like Monday’s Tea Party advertisement debate. Your “news sources” are masturbatory rantholes. Your process of d0xing the non-believers is reprehensible. Your work ethic is slovenly. Your web design skills make me frown and uhh, an Anonymous networking site? *snickers* Your writing skills don’t exist. Like Milhouse, your “movement” is a forced meme that gets you banned from 4chan, only faster.
Your movement is fake.
This article is part of Anonifeld – a series about nothing (Anonymous).
“You better watch out. She’ll lay that pussy on you.”
Drinking beers, sharing fears. Drunk and eager women splay themselves across me while the fire burns our legs. And I look into her eyes to find lust and distrust, and an attitude of despondency coupled with belligerence, if it feels good.
It’s open season on the American way of life. The FBI can safely and legally plant tracking devices on your car now. Until it goes to the Supreme Court, which it might never, it’s legal – even if “outlawed” it will go on. Who enforces the law? The criminal dogs that oversee us.
Fraudulence infects every facet of human behavior, life, and lies are the ethical way, so as not to hurt or dismiss another’s potential to suck you off.
Fuck this fake-ass charade, puppeteer conglomerate meltdown frenzy. Millions of Americans ready to work and can’t get shit off the ground. Credit bubble human enslavement crisis not only on the horizon but in our faces. In our blood, in our bank accounts, the freedom virus lives, breeds, counter intuitively thrives on your ignorance, and pattern of submission.
The government knows what you do, where you sleep. Get your cars checked out. If you’re trouble, then you’re watched. Of course, you’re not trouble. You just write stupid shit. Bomb shit.
If you write anything at all, which you don’t.
Empty notebooks stare back at you in a jealous fit, so eager to be full as you, and yet so blank and pathetic. Like you.
Anytown, USA–Elmo and his muppet friends are coming on PBS tonight at 8 pm, along with Katie Couric, who is best remembered for disguising her live colonoscopy on NBC’s Today Show as investigative journalism.
In tonight’s program, Elmo and Katie Couric (also a puppet) help very young people come to grips with death by accepting it as a never-ending facet of reality. The program is sponsored by Lockheed-Martin, the world’s largest manufacturer of war machines, and industry leaders of death.
Elmo and Katie will tell stupid people how to explain government-assisted death to children, as well as coping with sadness, fear and anger – but in such a way that does not necessarily challenge the status quo. For example, one should always fear terrorists, Elmo says, but not Father dying after being sent to fight them. As well, feelings of anger should never be allowed to crystallize into rage, because this is known to lead to convictions – and, later in life – anti-government attitudes.
The adorably dangerous Elmo is seen here friendly-fire-bombing American troops to help demonstrate actual loss, and how death can strike anywhere at any time, even “unintended” targets like children at an Afghan wedding.
Elmo helps families grieve
Of course, the above image is photoshopped. The burning corpse you see in Elmo’s imagination used to be a family man “in real life,” but now he is a hero. Elmo is a well-known and respected Patriot. And he helps families grieve.
BY GIVING THEM SOMETHING TO GRIEVE ABOUT.
That’s right, he really is firebombing your loved ones! This is because Sesame Street hates America and has systematically undermined her power-hungry, Emperial nature from the very beginning by propagating messages of non-violence and “understanding,” contradicting our actions overseas, and making us look weak before China and Mother Russia, outspoken violence advocates.
“At this point,” explained Admiral Mullen of the United States Army, “they may as well sabotage our new F22 Raptors, which if you’ll look behind me are– what the fuck? ELMO, NO!“
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