WASHINGTON – Monday, “Kilgoar” Trout, founder of the beloved Internet Chronicle, died from a simultaneous drug overdose and car wreck while on his way to a “business meeting.” Police forensics experts seemed befuddled reporting, “We’ve never had a case of death by the combination of overdose and car accident, but this is what appears to have happened.” Trout was not driving the vehicle at the time of the wreck, but the driver, who escaped unscathed, was tested by police at the scene and was reportedly extremely drunk. Obsessive teary-eyed fanboy Geo Hotz said, “This is just like Princess Diana. We will have no justice.”
Long-time friend of Trout, Niall Coffey, said, “Kilgoar fell prey to his own lavish lifestyle and instantaneous Internet success. We knew it was bad when he did a cameo on EpicMealTime, but we didn’t know it was this bad. He will be deeply missed.” Critics of The Internet Chronicle say the site descended from a darkly funny and intelligent source for satire into an endless stream of transparent death hoaxes, which were nonetheless highly successful in bringing in massive streams of advertising revenue.
Known for obsessively attacking the hacktivist collective Anonymous, perhaps Trout’s most famous and controversial work was the Anti-Leader’s Handbook, a longwinded 8,000-word self-centered exegesis full of red-faced rants and recycled postmodern tropes on the paradoxical nature of Anarchist Collectives and archetypal anti-heroes. It also featured the now-famous “Stratfor hack is not Anonymous” hoax, which rightly accused Sabu of working with the FBI months before the public became aware. The self-styled “King of Trolls,” Trout viciously taunted every sect of humanity in the name of non-violence and tolerance.
The Internet Chronicle’s remaining assets have been transferred to Tyler Bass, who plans to sell the business to News Corporation for 11.2 million USD. Mr. Trout’s personal fortune, upwards of $5.6 billion, has been set aside to buy laptops for children in the third world. These laptops come with an operating system designed personally by Trout to block all viral content and only show information produced or curated by verified experts.
Usually it all starts with a sickly transparent appeal for the acceptance and affection of a group by a complete outsider. Often the fawning stage is baldly disguised as self-deprecation, but more often it begins as a contrived yet frank attempt to become part of a group. The endorphin rush of acceptance accompanies the act of fawning rather than the acceptance itself.
Suffering from the contradictory feelings of total rejection and overwhelming delusional acceptance, the rejected outsider’s ego snaps and he or she inevitably posts jocular comments under many different names, always usurping the identities of those who refuse to validate his or her fawning. This is a sad attempt at “play” from an outsider in complete denial of the obvious rejection. I have seen this stage last for months, and the number of handles used by the same individual, “Geo,” reached a record of 63 different “identities.” This list is incomplete, however, and dates from July of 2011. Since then, “Geo” has repeatedly continued through this cycle and added countless nicks to his trophy case of shame.
Having finally reconciled the rejection, the subject goes on the attack. The most common statement is something like, “I used to like your group, but you’ve gone way downhill recently.” This stage may also last for months, and often the use of transparent alternate identities will persist, even though the repetitive and absurd comments follow an all-too-easily recognized pattern.
The famously obvious Ragequit is often extremely dramatic, but always entirely meaningless. Sometimes it’s really just a part of the aggression stage and it doesn’t necessarily signify a reset in the cycle. Often saying absurd things like “I’m quitting the Internet” or “I’m never visiting this website again,” the rejected person might even try to portray their rage as a quiet and sad admission to the failure of their fawning, only to revert back to the fawning stage within a few days. (Or a single day in THIS case)
I recently posted a very long work to the secretive and prickly SubGenius newsgroup at the suggestion of a SubGenius friend. Many supporters and detractors of Anonymous found this work a valuable analysis of the stagnant discourse plaguing the nascent Anarchic movement, and much of it was obviously inspired or borrowed from the Book of the SubGenius. Some SubGenii, however, immediately identified this as an act of fawning, and set to the same kind of public shaming I’ve dealt out to “Geo” for the past year. My ironic wit immediately engaged in a rapid-fire parody of the vicious cycle of rejection, but this “Satire and Parody fan club” seemed to have succumbed to dementia and failed to recognize the sarcasm. Sadly, I am now trapped in this cycle and any move will be interpreted as one of the four stages of Internet rejection.
“Keep telling yourself that, pinkboy.” ~ Rev. Ivan Stang
In a highly charged article by Frank Mason, executive editor for the Internet Chronicle, questions were raised about an Anonymous “moralfag” known as MotorMouth, who runs the MotorMouthNews twitter feed. MotorMouth might be described as one of many leaders within Anonymous, but he considers himself more of an educator. His self-styled role in Anonymous is purportedly to keep new members in line with the principles of freedom of press, freedom of religion, and freedom of information.
In Frank Mason’s article, MotorMouth is depicted as a “bounty hunter.” While MotorMouth has confirmed that the pastebin referenced in Mason’s article was legitimate, he says the statements were taken out of context. “I said I was a bounty hunter as a part of an experiment to see how [Jamie Corne] would react. And she took the bait,” MotorMouth stated.
This disinformation campaign against MotorMouth allegedly started over MotorMouth’s refusal to support the Stratfor hack. MotorMouth suggests that the smear campaign against him might have even been Sabu’s idea.
While this is all very interesting, this cyberwar bullshit must be taken with a grain of salt. In the heavily edited words of Frank Mason: ”So remember anons, if you see this man[/woman/ANYONE WHO CLAIMS TO BE FROM ANONYMOUS], do not divulge information to him[/her]. He[/she] could be a bounty hunter hooking up crooked cops, so better safe than sorry. Like we used to say back in the World War II days: ‘Loose Lips Sink Ships!’”
So today I signed onto Chronicle.SU and saw fucking porn ADS popping up all over the place. What the shit has this place become?
Just a couple of days ago I read a really great article and I thought Chronicle was finally making a comeback…
Now they’re just going to make a bunch of ridiculous stories up for hits, you know. Not even writing funny stories, just hit stunts using search engine tricks. Fuck the Internet Chroncile. Yeah you heard me, fuck this place.
I’m quitting this fucking web site, you’ll never see me here again. Kilgoar and Ol Brutus are dead to me. Everything they write from this point on is just to make money. Fuck. I hate this.
Friday, the @AnonymousIRC Twitter account made an uncalled for and wholly sexist attack against @RevMagdalen, a church leader who has faced religious persecution. Reverend Magdalen’s feed has often featured opinions about the manifold dangers created by Occupy and Anonymous, as well as educational material on related subjects.
This disrespectful and frankly sexist attack against Reverend Magdalen is exactly the same as what Rush Limbaugh did to Sandra Fluke. Both Rush Limbaugh and AnonymousIRC found themselves threatened by a woman of greater intellect and resorted to sexist remarks. Limbaugh did use coarser language, but the message was the same: You are a sexual object and nothing more, now be quiet while the boys talk about important stuff. AnonymousIRC could not be bothered to apologize to Reverend Magdalen, so in that way he is actually worse than Limbaugh.
Among such “radical activists” as Anonymous, this kind of sexism should have no place. No voices within “Anonymiss,” a bitterly repressed class of the Anonymous collective, have spoken up to support Reverend Magdalen. Anonymiss is too busy entertaining their superiors by posing naked with Guy Fawkes masks and putting sharpies in their anus. The demand for increasingly demeaning pictures of Anonymous-supporting women is a hallmark of the Anonymous culture, and in this light the demands of AnonymousIRC become even more clear.
Reverend Magdalen is a lot more than just stupid tweets. AnonymousIRC isn’t.
Finally, we have ignited Helter Skelter. Our inflammatory and hateful divisive attacks on black celebrities have brought about a race war of trolling never seen even on 4chan. Welcome to a NEW LOW, Internet! And each day, hundreds of thousands of you fools swarm upon the simulated death of your beloved AKON, LIL WAYNE, or WHITNEY HOUSTON, but NEVER Kanye West. We MAKE SO MUCH DAMN MONEY DOING THIS! Thems Chronicle boys’ a’paid by the government, I tells ya!’”
Yes, we knew it would come to this from the very first day the Internet Chronicle was founded. HELTER SKELTER! FINALLY!!!!
Charles Masnon was just another LULZ extremist just like us. Lulz! LUzl1! WE gonna hack your brains n’ control you litle fuxors ta DDoS teh Government!!!!
I wrote a letter to Charles Manson and asked him the best way to control people, and he said “It’s the Internet, dummy,” so I fed the internet a continuous dose of LSD. And lies.
Now the entire Internet is eating out of my hands, scrambling desperately for my sweet nectar of explanation. None of this makes sense, Anonymous is just destroying human rights. The 9/11 truthers are killing my GOD DAMN anti-war movement with their POISONOUS double false flag conspiracy.
American hacker group Anonymous is facing increasing scrutiny from The Wall Street Journal, as well as the director of the National Security Agency, Keith Alexander. Via “people familiar with the gatherings,” the Journal accounts that Alexander, the U.S. Army general commanding CYBERCOM, has been attending private, high-level White House meetings warning about the potential for the hacker group Anonymous to bring about a “limited” power outage.
So writes the Journal, “An attack on a network would be consistent with recent public claims and threats by the group. Last week, for instance, Anonymous announced a plan to shut down the Internet on March 31, which it calls Operation Global Blackout.”
And this description to a large extent agreed with the “we are legion” slogan-loving of Anonymous. Insofar that the activists lack a demonym – like “Anonymouses” – Journal reporter Siobhan Gorman projects onto the group a real sense of solidarity and pretense of inevitability to the group’s motivations, as if this were some clear cut culture war.
But as the Journal also emphasized, Anonymous is only a loose pattern or collective. If the global Internet ever did go down, there would be widespread denial of having carried it out by people calling themselves “Anonymous.” Talking about precise motives for this group, as one might an individual, is an only slightly less tricky business than assigning writ large machinations to any entire nation.
Cautionary tales by the NSA themselves appear to be at least partially the result of early-February posting on Pastebin, giving instructions on how to disable the Internet’s “13 DNS servers.” The preamble to this large public threat to put the Internet in a coma was: “To protest [the Stop Online Piracy Act], Wallstreet [sic], our irresponsible leaders and the beloved bankers who are starving the world for their own selfish needs out of sheer sadistic fun, On March 31, anonymous will shut the Internet down.” Robert David Graham put together a widely circulated rundown of why the proposed attack on the Internet would be ineffective.
”Most denial of service attacks aren’t proceeded by a warning,” said Dan Kaminsky, who helped fix a major flaw in DNS in 2008, speaking to Forbes’ Andy Greenberg. “I’ve talked to various network engineers who are responsible for keeping these servers up, and they’re aware of the threat. They have resources already in place. Anyway, [Anonymous'] disclosure is appreciated.” Kaminsky’s facetious expression of gratitude agrees exactly with his interviewer, Greenberg who, only four days after the Pastebin posting, headlined with, “We’re Being Trolled.”
But the line between mockery and hysteria may prove very thin, indeed, with one report at Consternation Security positing that, in the wake events such as the Iranian army overriding and capturing an RQ-170 drone, Anonymous might be able to hijack the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, or HAARP. It is with HAARP, Consternation claims to report seriously under a shimmering photo of an aurora, that hackers could, after inciting bouts of “headaches, dizziness, confusion, and even insanity,” “quite literally cook the President while he sleeps.”
As Agence France-Presse mentioned, the website of the Central Intelligence Agency was inaccessible the 11th of February after someone in Anonymous claimed they had taken it down. At @YourAnonNews after the takedown, someone tweeted “CIA Tango down,” which, as AFP, explains, “is an expression used by the U.S. Special Forces when they have eliminated an enemy.” However, the use of the phrase in this context is most specifically a reference to 2010 hack by The Jester (@th3j35t3r), apparently disabling the WikiLeaks website.
In its timeline of Anonymous’s taking down websites and compromising information, the Journal didn’t mention that the name of the website for whom the Justice Department website was destabilized in retaliation, MegaUpload. And its name and mission figured heavily into the hacktivist scene surrounding the attempts to discourage smaller web developers interested in user-generated content.
MegaUpload is the now-downed file-sharing website run by a notorious German embezzler who calls himself Kim Dotcom. Significant percentages of the World Wide Web had used his website to view films sometimes not strictly within respective domestic, if not international, licensing laws. The question between activists and IP control enforcers was: How much was the impetus on the administrator of a site to filter for copyrighted material within a certain volume of content?
Previous enforcement pushes and national legislation, such as with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, placed the responsibility to point out offending content on copyright holders, as opposed to the filtering mandates introduced by intellectual property special interests, such as the Recording Industry Association of America. It’s important to understand the intellectual property issues in order to understand what motivates the activists the NSA worries about.
Eduoard Kovacs, news editor for Softpedia, has opined of what he says is the “plausibility” of HAARP hacker assassinations, with such precedents as recent insecurity in supervisory control and data acquisition (SCADA). Meanwhile, at least some of those public anxieties, it seems, have turned out to be overblown. A release from the Department of Homeland Security claimed that in fact there was no computer infiltration of an Illinois water system SCADA.
Wind Turbines can catch fire and kill all the ULTRA RARE piratebush found ONLY on Poor Mountain
I knew Old Man Charlie from the days of my youth on Poor Mountain. That old man mostly kept to himself, but when I’d see him walking around on the mountain, he’d talk my ear off. Charlie told a lot of stories, but the ones that always got him worked up the most were the stories of what he called “dem saclones.” Charlie spent a lot of time walking the ridge of Poor Mountain, just to pass the time, but I always liked to ask him about dem saclones.
From what the old man told me, I gathered that he had been experiencing some kind of ultra-rare meteorological phenomenon that may be unique to Poor Mountain. It’s hard for me to go into any detail, but Charlie described clouds quickly forming very close to the ground, twisting like a cyclone. Within the course of a few minutes, an extremely small area would be pelted with up to quarter-sized hail. Sometimes the hail would be smaller, and the affected area could be as large as a house or as small as a frisbee.
Honestly, I never believed that old man. After he died, I wondered a little about Charlie’s stories and eventually researched some information on the internet. I learned that it’s possible “dem saclones” were also called Microstorms. No one on the internet seemed to have seen these vicious kind of tornadic hail Microstorms, and I tried contacting a few meteorologists. None of them seemed to believe the stories from Charlie, and just said that Microstorms were not proven science. However, Poor Mountain surely has great importance as a possible meteorological oddity.
Poor Mountain is located in Roanoke, Virginia, and is currently under threat of industrial development for wind power. Help us, Anonymous. Hack our government into submission for Old Man Charlie and his crazy cyclones. They’re probably real, and when those wind turbines go up, the Microstorms may disappear forever. Have you ever seen what happens when a wind turbine gets pelted with an intense cyclone full of quarter-size hail? Mayhem. Pure mayhem is coming to Poor Mountain if this wind farm is approved. STOP THEM NOW.
Fans of Reddit often see their servers overloaded with child porn.
Preliminary polling of Reddit users has revealed a shocking statistic – over one third of Redditors are in fact registered sex offenders. A recent post on SomethingAwful, the internet’s best source for gore, rightfully accused Reddit of being the primary hub for trading of hurtful child pornography.
The vast majority of content on Reddit is composed of self-made images by teen and preteen girls. The community often goes out of its way to coerce young women into posing nude and performing sex acts on camera, and the vast amount of this kind of data continually taxes the resources of Reddit.
Formerly, /b/ was decidedly the most depraved web site on the internet. However, /b/’s gore and porn obsession has turned into revolutionary anarchism because endemic egomania brought about the self-mythologizing Anonymous cult. It seems all the disillusioned pedophiles have fled to the welcoming atmosphere of Reddit.
If you don’t want to go to prison and be labeled as a sex offender by association, stay off Reddit.
Charrie Wongz (@TehWongz) was recently kicked out of Destructivesec following his alleged arrest and cooperation with law enforcement agencies. In a recently leaked conference call, agents used derisive terms to refer to Wongz.
Wongz is fifteen years old and has been hacking since he was twelve. He has hacked the online video game service Steam, as well as going on the offensive against his own school. By planting a malicious batch file into the school’s system, he crashed every computer with one swift stroke.
Wongz denies allegations that he is in any way working with law enforcement or that he was ever affiliated with Anonymous. However, he does admit he did have his computer equipment confiscated and had a voluntary interview with police. He is currently campaigning to raise money for a new laptop.
Sadly, Wongz informed us that he has retired from hacking at the request of his girlfriend.
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