Kim Dotcom is just another white collar 1% criminal

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Federal agents have come down hard on Megaupload, seizing every little bit of property they can get their grubby fed hands  on. Anonymous has unleashed the floodgates of cyberhell, causing its collective consciousness to go into a raging seizure, lashing out at anything and everything that moves. DDoS attacks on three letter government web servers have been the major response, but the latest victim, CBS, was temporarily deleted. These attacks, dubbed #OpMegaUpload, come in the wake of the internet’s defining moment of activism, in which Wikipedia and Google participated in a blackout to spread awareness about the Stop Online Piracy Act.

What Anonymous hasn’t looked into, however, is the man they are defending. Kim Dotcom, owner of Megaupload, is an obese multimillionaire and also the world’s top player of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. He has such incredibly bad taste that he fills his front yard with life-size statues of giraffes. Both bad taste and insane amounts of for-profit piracy are completely forgivable, and should not be held against Kim Dotcom. Editor’s note: I’m going to miss watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on MegaVideo, knowing that the ad revenue is buying some fat hick the ultimate lawn ornament arrangement.

Kim Dotcom is not just guilty of crimes we all agree with, but he has also participated in some very typically 1% criminal behavior we must condemn. In 2002, Kim Dotcom was found guilty of the largest insider trading scandal in German history. Kim flooded some company’s stocks with a bunch of money, promising investors the company would turn around. Once the stocks surged from this news, the fat man sold everything, robbing everyone blind. Like a little 1% bitch, he fled to Thailand, where the feds promptly caught up to him. Dotcom was given a slap on the wrists and a small fine for an abusively rich man. Kim’s recent arrest required police to cut open the safe room in his gigantic mansion, where he was found playing Call of Duty and masturbating to the thought of how he was so rich the cops couldn’t even arrest him.

Copyright infringement has become somehow more menacing to twisted world authorities than insider trading. On one hand, a person who abuses their wealth to indirectly steal millions from investors is punishable by a 100,000 euro fine and 20 months in prison. On the other hand, copyright infringement will result in this same person’s entire fortune being forfeit and will put his ass in the American gulag for decades. Despite this glaring injustice, the opinion of the author remains steadfast. Kim Dotcom deserves this punishment, even if it is for all the wrong reasons.

9 comments to Kim Dotcom is just another white collar 1% criminal

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  • non-anonymous

    I dont understand why you guys are snapping at Kilgoar… I’m insanely pro-freespeech & freedom of knowledge, YET…

    The fact that SOPA didn’t pass doesn’t mean that any internet-based company can perform totally illegal operations without punishment.

    You little brats may think youre more “open minded” (See douchey comment below: “Open your mind and learn to analize things properly.” somebody should anal-ize this dude) but your minds are hanging wide open & youre just rationalizing all actions that lead to your own ability to pirate files.

    I think this issue is a clear indication that “Anonymous” has gone awry of their whole faux-democratic/anarchistic/whatever ideals being that they are now defending a prime example of greed sloth & intellectual indifference. It’s stupid to defend a site on principle when there are a slew of other confounding legal issues that can be used to justify this shutdown. Work harder on protecting the integrity of legitimate file-sharing operations, not getting in a self-righteous huff of DDoS.

    In a way, its a simple idea — most would agree that copyright is respectable (if your brother makes a mind-blowing independent film you don’t want to see him become a failure because of piracy) so pirates must understand that they need to pay lip service to the law & then operate around it, not expect the laws to go away because their entitled American asses won’t fork over $10 for the film (thought we’d all benefit from a more reasonable licensing fee a la Netflix). & Megaupload simply accepted money to do blatantly illegal acts (incentivizing illegal uploads to boost their profits) without covering their tracks at all. In fact, the executives were arrogant scumbags about it.

  • kwote> Oh and #learn2satire <kwote