Kim Dotcom is just another white collar 1% criminal

kimmy Kim Dotcom is just another white collar 1% criminal

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Federal agents have come down hard on Megaupload, seizing every little bit of property they can get their grubby fed hands  on. Anonymous has unleashed the floodgates of cyberhell, causing its collective consciousness to go into a raging seizure, lashing out at anything and everything that moves. DDoS attacks on three letter government web servers have been the major response, but the latest victim, CBS, was temporarily deleted. These attacks, dubbed #OpMegaUpload, come in the wake of the internet’s defining moment of activism, in which Wikipedia and Google participated in a blackout to spread awareness about the Stop Online Piracy Act.

What Anonymous hasn’t looked into, however, is the man they are defending. Kim Dotcom, owner of Megaupload, is an obese multimillionaire and also the world’s top player of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. He has such incredibly bad taste that he fills his front yard with life-size statues of giraffes. Both bad taste and insane amounts of for-profit piracy are completely forgivable, and should not be held against Kim Dotcom. Editor’s note: I’m going to miss watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on MegaVideo, knowing that the ad revenue is buying some fat hick the ultimate lawn ornament arrangement.

Kim Dotcom is not just guilty of crimes we all agree with, but he has also participated in some very typically 1% criminal behavior we must condemn. In 2002, Kim Dotcom was found guilty of the largest insider trading scandal in German history. Kim flooded some company’s stocks with a bunch of money, promising investors the company would turn around. Once the stocks surged from this news, the fat man sold everything, robbing everyone blind. Like a little 1% bitch, he fled to Thailand, where the feds promptly caught up to him. Dotcom was given a slap on the wrists and a small fine for an abusively rich man. Kim’s recent arrest required police to cut open the safe room in his gigantic mansion, where he was found playing Call of Duty and masturbating to the thought of how he was so rich the cops couldn’t even arrest him.

Copyright infringement has become somehow more menacing to twisted world authorities than insider trading. On one hand, a person who abuses their wealth to indirectly steal millions from investors is punishable by a 100,000 euro fine and 20 months in prison. On the other hand, copyright infringement will result in this same person’s entire fortune being forfeit and will put his ass in the American gulag for decades. Despite this glaring injustice, the opinion of the author remains steadfast. Kim Dotcom deserves this punishment, even if it is for all the wrong reasons.

9 comments to Kim Dotcom is just another white collar 1% criminal

  • Embarrased New Zealander

    Why did the New Zealand Government give Kim Dotcom residence despite him having a fraud conviction for insider trading in Germany? Seems that Dotcom managed to acquire residency in New Zealand under the “Investor Plus” category after investing $10 million in government bonds for more than 3 years. Immigration New Zealand state that he disclosed his conviction and based his residency application on character, associated risks and the potential benefits of allowing him residency.

    Character? What character? Potential benefits? Yeah right – heaps of illegal dollars!

  • Jne

    huhh epic FAIL faggot,nobody’s defending this bigpig.

  • Anonymous

    It’s free speech(what allows you to write this article in the first place btw) that is being defended. Not some stupid guy. Open your mind and learn to analize things properly.

  • anonymous

    no one is defending this guy dumbass, it’s the fact that the government shut the site down without SOPA even being passed, and right after the majority of the public held a huge online protest about it. If you’re going hate on someone enough to write a distastful article about them, hate on the government for saying a big fuck to its people.

  • SwimFan

    Oh the sweaty fat irony…and those lawn ornaments lolz….