Yesterday, Sony purposefully shut down its own Playstation Network servers to save itself billions in operating costs. This move was shrouded with rumors that Anonymous has yet again resorted to the unpopular DDoS attacks that led to the failed “boycott” of Sony products on April 16th. Sony, as always, has made a meaningless and vague statement about their network status in an attempt to counter any blame.
Despite their own miserable failure with Sony, Anonymous has not even had time to come up with a new strategy. In fact, Anonymous has entirely lost interest in wasting their time on Sony. Playstation 3 owners have reactivated their violent urges which are at a steady boiling point without Call of Duty: Black Ops. The last bastion of truly free press, AnonNews.org, has been under sporadic DDoS attacks that may have originated from “Sonyfags” or the Playstation Network itself.
Now with a scapegoat for all future network outages, Sony is free to mistreat their own user base without discretion. Sony currently has a plan in the works to create paid Playstation “Gold” accounts that will not suffer from network outages which disable completely unrelated services such as Netflix and Skype. This strategy is consistent with Reddit’s current “downtime” that allows only paid Reddit “Gold” accounts the ability to log in.
Free information and net neutrality is dying at the altar of Anonymous, as I have predicted. Public opinion is being manipulated by the global oligarchs who control multi-national corporations like Sony. The people are being whipped into a hate-storm that can only end with mass vannings of the Anonymous collective.
UPDATE: Sony has admitted that the database of personal information on PSN has been compromised. Anonymous sides with the users of PSN in filing a class action lawsuit against the incompetence of Sony!
SONY IS AWSOME
dadieda sony is da wooooorrrrst bullshit. the writer of this p.o.s. is an idiot nothing more
LulzSec:
“It’s a fair point you raise, to say we aren’t as good as we once were. The truth is that you aren’t as good as you used to be. You have failed to follow the story arc of the internet, and are being left behind in a stoned, meditative state.”
I only get high on weekends:)
ps
i feel, this being the chronicle, i should point out i’m VERY aware it isn’t your job as writers to satisfy me. my point in saying that was that you used to…
lol everyone replied but you “rupert murdoch”
your rebuttle
i dont believe any of your stories haha
I don’t believe I give a fuck what you believe.
-Editor
in your endless quest for “teh lulz” it seems you have lost track. i can’t say for sure what you wanted from this site when you started it, but was this really it?
i used to enjoy every post. maybe i’ve changed, its possible. i feel you need to sit down, smoke a blunt, drink a beer, and think about where this site is going. until you recognize how big this webpage could be, it will never get there.
i realize my rant is oddly heartfelt and quite redundant, but take it as a friend trying to help, not a troll, or as someone who doesn’t recognize this specific brand of comedy.
love,
John Skittles McStarbust Stamos
Sure. What should we do? And why is this a reply to my comment? Are you the same person who wrote “haha i dont believe any of your stories’ because if you are, that’s two useless comments so far, and I gotta feeling strike 3 is coming.
Tell me, oh great and honorable John Stamos, how to change the Chronicle.SU and make it “big.”
no i’m not the same person.
i feel i should reinterate that i don’t know what you want from your site.
there is a bad habbit of attacking people intellectually here, which doesn’t bother me. but i think you spend too much time defending your post while also making fun of the idiots.
again, i used to enjoy this site quite a lot, i’ve read nearly every article, and recently i’m disappointed.
you’ll probably take no heed of anything i say, which i understand that. there are very few people, if any, that i actually “listen” to.
i just think you should know my criticism comes from a love of what do combined with a dislike for what you’ve become.
i’m not going to try to tell you what you should do, i’m simply asking, is this really what you wanted it to be? i had bigger visions for it when i first started visiting, surely you hoped for more as well.
maybe you need ibogaine and an isolation chamber to figure it out. if so, go for it.
with love,
the great and honorable John Skittles McStarburst Stamos
i liked the cronical when they were cool, before they sold out to the bitcoin scam.
god the cronical is so bad these days, this was their last great article. RIP cronical
Yeah, cronical turned summerfag all of the sudden
I am the queen of Cronical
Casey Anthonyfags are all “reasonable doubt” but us Cayleefags are all “murderous demon spawn bitch!”
dude this isn’t trolling
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summerfag fails
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lrn 2 healthbar
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they use to be cool, but now they’re just hipster wannabe trolls or something
the worst part is i almost know they’ll think i’m trolling or have some hidden agenda, because thats what they look for. they seem to have trouble taking things literally. i think it might have something to do with this site actually. they’ve become engrossed in this fake satire sarcastic trolling not trolling bitcoin anonymous wikileaks world. its as if they’re sense of reality is distorted. thats why i suggested ibogaine, and perhaps meditation
sir, your critique lacks substance. as such, it has been deemed a failtroll.
John Stamos is an ibogaine addict the likes of which Edmund Muskie could never keep up with. Failtroll!? Maybe. Sir, we have a sense of reality, but we live in an alternate one you may not recognize. As a de facto journalist for posterity, the fictional world of Chronicle.SU is built upon our ever changing frame of reference. You may donate bitcoins by clicking my name, and we will use them to purchase ibogaine because of our unconditional love for drugs. All are trolls who post upon Chronicle.SU!
This.
UPDATE:
I’ll give you a fair answer since I know what you’re getting at.
I guess I would like to see the Chronicle.SU “funnier,” as in not just inside jokes that only we get, or think is funny; however, when we set out telling jokes and realized what kind of website we are making, we knew not everyone would go along with it, and we knew only a handful of people who come across the site will really follow us. We never had any aspirations of becoming The Onion II, either.
But what i hear you telling me is that you read the site regularly, often and thoroughly – and you carry this gut feeling that we have more potential than we reach for, and you’d like to see us doing much better than we are – we could be more poignant, spot-on, hilarious and relevant. I agree.
That is why I asked for your input, and not a reiteration of what you first said. But I think above is the problem if you really want to discuss the creative process: connecting our talents seamlessly to our convictions and clarity of understanding of the world around us.
That goes back to what Billy said. I think there’s a specific truth that not even underground news agencies can put their fingers on, and to fill in those gaps we must invent conspiracies or play up those which already exist. This, too, can be satirical and I’ve never seen anyone push absurdity to the limits that Kilgore Trout has, and still keep it funny. Maybe that’s because I know him personally and understand his sense of humor better than anyone else in the world. And maybe you’re right that he and I don’t do a good enough job bringing you in on the joke. But that’s not our problem. We don’t have bosses breathing down our necks. We don’t have advertisers demanding more readers before they pull our pensions. And our lives don’t magically improve even if we nail the shit out of our favorite subjects. We only have each other. And if we enjoy that more than you enjoy reading it, then the most direct response to your question would be: Yes, this is what I wanted. [And your snide remarks which I do appreciate by the way, and to the contrary do not feel the need to defend myself against. You are however the first person to question us so coherently.]
We’ve been talking about a visual overhaul that would not necessarily take the site in a new direction, but improve upon the direction it’s already going; for instance, we love playing up the purported glory of Police States, failing governments that insist upon their own omnipotence, and the virtues of unrestrained Capitalism. I think a new site design that appeared sleeker, shinier and more Web 3.0 would do well to glorify the technological enslavement of mankind if at the same time we created some more ads that put a positive light on entities like OPEC, NATO, Time Warner, anti-P2P corporations and the NSA surveillance supercomputer.
I think our main problem is that the socio-economic discrepancies exacerbated by media psychosis and western absolutist thought tied to christian upbringing has led Conservapedia to certain doom, while Wikipedia has entered a completely anarchic state.
It’s a fair point you raise, to say we aren’t as good as we once were. The truth is that you aren’t as good as you used to be. You have failed to follow the story arc of the internet, and are being left behind in a stoned, meditative state.
Meanwhile, Social Media is now able to predict your preference for a mate 33% of the time, and will soon close in on 100%. As such, we must face Barrett Brown down and watch as weaponized Social Media takes the place of prisons.
I would love to fuck Boxxy
We never had any potential, btw.
lolol kilgore. you used to be my favorite.
@MediaMogul:
that was the first genuine response i’ve ever received on this site, and for that i say thank you.
At one point it almost brought a tear to my eye, at others i laughed.
i realize i won’t get all of your jokes, and i realize that you and other writers control this site, with no corporate input, and with financial gain likely the furthest thing from your minds, and that i appreciate, because it’s quite rare and i think you’ll agree.
but notice the response kilgore gave.
it’s funny, i “luld” but i dont think he sees where i’m coming from. i think you, “rupert” might.
haha sleeker 3.0??? that was funny. but i think you also know that isn’t what i’m suggesting at all. again i don’t want to suggest anything, i don’t know how to run a site or i would doing so.
just keep in mind, while what you do is good, and often funny, there are people out there, very few, that see the world or the universe or the cosmos or existence, whatever you call it, in a similiar way as you do. while “teh lulz” are great, i recognize you and old brutus, and now to a lesser extent kilgore, as individuals perhaps more intelligent than myself. i posses a certain ability and even lust for abstract thought. i thrive off intellectual stimulation. i guess that is where my problem with the chronicle comes into play…i’m no longer being satisfied.
you all seem so wrapped up in trolling or failtrolling and everything like it, personally i think it’s annoying.
i’ve probably rambled a lot in this response, if so, i apologize, i’m pretty fucking distracted.
oh ya, you made statements in your response that reminded me of Dead Prez lyrics, i thought that was kinda cool.
anyway, good luck on your quest for “teh lulz” i hope you find them. i plan to continue visiting this site, simply because i know tomorrow i could get on and not see the word troll anywhere. i can hope right?
love,
John S.M. Stamos
Nope Chloe is queen obviously
[...] also been a third argument made by writer Pseudonymous in an editorial for the Chronicle.su that sounds more akin to a 9/11 conspiracy theory, but not exactly unrealistic given the nature of [...]
I guess I had that coming…:)
Hey geo hots u mind teaching me how to hack storm8 games to get free (honer points)
only if you spend $$
Let’s all play Socom 4
@ember, i wasn’t trying to insult you.i call you a prude because you come off as one. its that simple. and im glad you realize using an expansive vocabulary (correctly) only makes you appear smarter. prude
Seriously. He’s acting fake as shit. I’m glad to see some INTELLECTUAL discussion around here. I bet Ember’s hand is softer than kitten’s fur due to all that masturbation.
Ember: why do you behave in this manner?
Ember’s an echo of myself, as I am an echo of anonymous. I hope that we who subvert those who subvert will forever be subverted in an endless recursive process.
Also, Ember’s a female name, right?
Actually, I was thinking about paying one of these two to write for our site. I just wanted to see how this argument plays out first.
Gentlemen?
i have to start writing my government paper first. it was due yesterday
buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttt. i would love the opportunity to write for a site like this, even for free. sir?
@XoR50r5 big lol, huge
ok u bunch of piece of shit, 40 yr old virgin ass nerds better just pray! i hope u kno there r so many people that want u DEAD!!!! deny it all u want but nobody is so stupid to believe u. fuck u and i hope u all burn in hell!!! u got nothing better to do with ur lives then to sit in front of a computer and beat off on 1 page wile ur takin out ur anger, that u cant get ur dick wet, on the other!!! u sad lowlife fuckin NERDS U WILL GET UR CARMA!!!!!!!!
learn to spell you dumb ass!
your really saying people want these “hackers” DEAD for sony not taking care of their shit properly, resulting in you not being able to play cod all day with 8yo.
you sir, are a moron. also, you are probably a virgin who gets pissed off at cod because you suck..because you are a moron.
Sony never said ANON was responsible for the DDoS and outage of their service. They only stated that an attack was made by an outside party, and that they were still investigating who was responsible. Anon was not even mentioned.
As far as AnonNews.org being attack by an Sony itself is highly implausible. The legal charges they could face would not be worth the gain, which there is no gain. Companies do not operate like that. The coincidental timing of the attack on AnonNews more than likely came from a QQing hacker playing the blame game because he could not get his fix of Black OPs.
Finally, You get what you pay for. The PSN is free to use for everyone, and as Sony has stated it will remain that way for basic services. Complaining about it is like pirating a movie and then complaining to the uploader that its quality was not up to par with your standards. Your getting this shit for free, thats more than I can say about other networks out there. I believe the “Gold” feature will be a great addition to the network for players willing to pay an extra buck to receive better services.
[...] Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack against Sony in the past. However, Anonymous has since denied [...]
[...] for the PlayStation Network outage. Last week, a representative from the organization posted on a Web site that that the group’s members have “entirely lost interest in wasting [...]
It seem’s to me that, you all were just doing this last week the week before and the week before so, how many more times this monthe and next are you ass holes going to be doing this? Why can’t we, get a trueful answer from you all as to why the damn system is always down we deserve it since we are buying your products to play on this system!!!!!
You should be more worried about the security of your credit card information.
[...] for the PlayStation Network outage. Last week, a representative from the organization posted on a Web site that that the group’s members have “entirely lost interest in wasting [...]
[...] for the PlayStation Network outage. Last week, a representative from the organization posted on a Web site that that the group’s members have “entirely lost interest in wasting [...]
[...] has not even had time to come up with a new strategy.” The representative went on to say that the organization’s members have “entirely lost interest in wasting their time on [...]
[...] Anonymous appears to be denying participation in any attack on PSN. A representative of the group posted an editorial to a news aggregation site saying it had no time to devise a new strategy against Sony and “entirely lost interest. [...]
WTF I’m having withdraws. We want an exact date on this shit hurry up
[...] Satement Editorial: Sony is Using Anonymous as a ScapeGoat Video Statement from Anonymous and Video Warning from Last Week …and now it looks like [...]
fuck this i could care less who turned off psn i just want it back theres never been any maintenance that lasted this long
@chronicle.su, i hope you can come up with a more concise image of what you stand for by the time im back thursday. good luck
With all of there shutting down to up-grade the system, and other B.S. you would think, Sony, playstation, would have the best operating system in the world. Plus, with the spring break going on they would, stop there S_ _ _ and do it during school hours come on get your CRAP together or maybe Wii system still is better?
Oh how amusing it is to see that I won this little skirmish
Freedom isn’t free.
And now it would appear that my posts are being moved around. I am tiring quickly of such of such petty tactics.
This shit is to funny. you people complaining about black ops is like a tard waiting to have a seizure. NO BBBB BLACK OPS………..shit here it comes. I tolerate black ops but it is not that good. just go join the rest of the shitbox owners if your that fucking strung out. Here is an idea that might kill some time while your waiting…………GET SOME FUCKING FRESH AIR
if you gave me a really good copier, and one or two cloning machines i could give you 99.9666% of humans. @Sony -funding worthy right?
i’ll do it for a couple billion, and a house on a big ass tropical island branson style for privacy (not so my human copy army can grow weed and sell it to terrorists so they realize they should @USA mind your own business you hypocrite neoneonazi facist. we would definitely not do that)
sooo sony…uhm…why didnt you tell your ‘fans’ about the ‘maintenance’ and why is your only answer “we thank you for your patience”
[...] Anonymous appears to be denying participation in any attack on PSN. A representative of the group posted an editorial to a news aggregation site saying it had no time to devise a new strategy against Sony and “entirely lost [...]
WTF
Are you serious? Sony should offer you a job thats the only way to balance this bullshit out. I think any one that can hack a place should be given a job in that company’s IT SECURITY to make this into something good. hackers are fuckin smart.
this is.kick ass. Hackers are hot!
hackers are a plague, virgins trying to assume intellectual superiority because they dont believe in 666god666.
unfortunately for them not all americans are mass produced.
i dont believe in the big guy in the sky either, but #anonymous act like they know everything when in reality, they are just as clueless as everyone else. and like EVERYone else they bash what others believe. are they right about the government? most likely
U mad?
read my name skank sack.
Lol, you mad?
you read my name too slut basket. lol/emeber i guess dont understand sarcasm.
@ember why the fuck are you an atheist who refrains from cussing? self-rightousness? prude? or because you defer to speaking more intelligently? because where i live, if i talked the way you do (which i used to), nobody would understand me. if i speak with a hint of intelligence my listener is instantly confused and the purpose of my entire conversation becomes void. yippee. i like to speak on people’s level, which yes, is generally quite low. welcome to america.
Well I’ll have to choose option C there I think; I ‘defer’ to speak more intelligently. Most people view intelligence with respect and almost everyone has a small modicum of fear within them of people who poses a higher mental capacity than them. I am not saying that I am smarter than you, but if an outsider were to look at our conversation they would likely recognise myself as the more intelligent individual.
If you, as you say, you are normally used to speaking with people who are mentally inferior to yourself, you should relish the opportunity to converse with someone more equal to your level of intelligence.
normally i would, but again sir, you are a prude.
also, while your vocab is vast compared to the vernacular most americans, it is in no way a valid measure of intelligence.
Again, insults dont prove you are smarter than me or contribute to the conversion in any way. Would you like to try again?
True, most of the outspoken Americans do seem to be lacking in intelligence and, truth be told, common sense. I however know that there are smart Americans lurking and I am firm friends with many of them. I never said my ‘vocab’ means I am smarter, I simply said it makes me appear so.
lmfao, these people are going crazy, they need black ops !!!!! learn some knoledge and maybe you might beable to turn on the PSN by ur self, if your skills reach maximum!
1. you said learn some knowledge…WTF
2. you spelled knowledge wrong. ultra fail.
3 your making fun of ppl for needing black ops when your name on the blog you started reading because the psn servers are down is “just wants to play”
4. you sir or lady, are a bufoon
GeoHotz out
bout to smoke purple nurple?? fuck this site, fuck jesus, fuck hitler, fuck anonymous, god bless the jersey shore
I just miss having a relaxing way to end my day
then jerk off.
@Pseudonymous you win