Fever To Sing

This weekend, Blacksburg, VA played host to a music festival of a different kind. Hosted at several bars and art galleries around town, local and regional musicians of all stripes and abilities played with varying degrees of fever. I ended up managing part of a show, running the sound for a few bands, playing an open-mic, and photographing every single set I was a witness to. Problems aside, I had a good time.

I arrived in Blacksburg and parked within a hundred feet of the NLCF building, check in for the Fever to Sing festival. I spent over a half hour wandering around the block looking for any sign of a festival, stumped. I looked up the address and found my way on in. Several artists and musicians I interviewed had the same trouble. There was no signs, no groups of people coming or going, but the gears were churning inside.

The organizers were putting things together using some kind of online system, stressing and fretting over laptops wherever they went. The sound guys were often late, or unreachable, or went missing, but for the most part the bands were well on time and ready to go when needed. I changed the schedule, manually, with a pen on at least 50 fliers because certain shows were very much more than an hour late to begin. I suppose I was a volunteer too, as well as impromptu press, musician, and management.

There was a some awful trash that I wish I’d never seen. On the other hand, I saw great acts, such as the Bastards of Fate, the Andalusians, and Don’t Call Us Sweethearts.

Doug Cheatwood's blinding emotional fury unleashed

Doug Cheatwood's blinding emotional fury unleashed

The Bastards of Fate defy all explanation. Doug Cheatwood is a performance genius beyond compare. His songs are imaginatively written and musically unique, defying rules I didn’t even knew existed. Standing on an amp, holding up a guitar, blinded by shaving cream, construction light draped over his shoulder, and mic in hand, Doug Cheatwood is no gimmick hungry rocker. He is what punk rock was never smart enough to be, crazier and more ambitious, full of antics that wake sleepy fear-ridden audiences into a frenzy of dance and jubilation. Did I mention that the music’s catchy, well-written, and like nothing you’ve heard?

andalusiansThe Andalusians were a punkish woman-fronted band from DC, with loads of energy to back up their fun music. Such well written music played by obvious professionals was a welcome treat, and I especially appreciated how grounded and personal their presence was. These were proud, powerful women who were absolutely comfortable on stage and off. Sadly, that’s not something I see often. They were reminiscent of the best bits of The Clash.

Aw, this band should be called Sweetheart

Aw, this band should be called Sweetheart

I didn’t run the sound for Don’t Call Us Sweethearts, although I was supposed to. One faux member of the group who played a little percussion felt the need to do the sound, although I had to inform him on how to use the mixer. Thankfully with my help he was able to do a passable job, and truly could have done little to diminish the silky-smooth vocals and soft melodies of Don’t Call us Sweethearts. The performance was emotionally charged and musically superb. Though I tend to think their particular kind of songwriting is generally boring, there was no lack of excitement during their performance. Don’t Call Us Sweethearts had a friendly, warm presence that everyone picked up on.

The good was good, but the bad got very bad. I don’t mind bad music, or late shows. There’s just a small list of things I expect musicians to NOT do, which almost always ruin the appeal of the performance. Fever to sing had a few good examples.

  • Show outright disdain for the audience while making assumptions about their beliefs
  • Explain what every single song is about in detail
  • Apologize for how bad the music is

Musicians who do these things defy all logic, and must be proud of how amateur they are. Since we’re mean bastards here at Elf Wax, and want to harm those who we dislike, here’s a list of bands and musicians you should never, ever see.

  • Kristi Emmons
You won't like this show unless you're a Lesbian who thinks the entire world hates you.

You won't like this show unless you're a Lesbian who thinks the entire world hates you.

I was there to help you run sound, and you refused my help probably just because I am a man. I hope you enjoyed spending 5 minutes going back and forth between the mixer and the microphone to satisfy your own misguided foolish pride. You’re not a bad musician, but probably a bad person. I have nothing against Lesbians, in fact I rarely have sex with women who aren’t Lesbians. I was enraged by your song about how everyone in Virginia but the Lesbians are hateful fucks. Now Elfwax.com hates you, and it’s not just your imagination this time. You can tell everyone we hate you just because you’re a Lesbian if that makes you feel better.

21 comments to Fever To Sing

  • MauMau

    I want to buy the world a coke. Hugs to the world

  • hottopickid

    PUNX RUK FORVR MAN

  • billywalshe

    i will be playing happy’s flea market on sunday, may 2nd. come on by, and feel free to write whatever you want about me.

  • No, fuck that! Insulting shitty musicians is absolutely necessary – way more necessary than it was for those useless sons of bitches to stand up on a stage, bore and insult us, and fail to entertain us with their so-called “talents.” Just because your best friends are too nice to tell you that your music is lame doesn’t mean we are. We listen to musicians who fucking ROCK, so yeah we hold a bias against lame-ass unoriginal motherfuckers like you.

    “Since when did mediocrity and banality become a positive image for your children?” – Bill Hicks said that and he was referring to the safe, government-approved rock-and-roll you guys don’t even realize you’re playing. You think anybody gives a fuck about oppressing faggotry in 2010? We can’t say for sure what Hicks might say about this if he were alive today, and don’t you try to speculate on it. But here’s what I say: bands about being lesbian suck, so do most bands that supposedly “stand for something” because you’re letting the message get in the way and trying to be something you aren’t. If you don’t stand for eternal love and let that be the source of your conviction, but instead are guided by hatred and fear, then I can safely tell you this: you better have the wherewithal in your wussy little black heart to withstand the blowback because any member of the audience with three gray cells can easily sees through that act.

    Burning trash stinks, so I don’t stand in it. But Billy did, and while you guys were all sucking each others’ cocks after the show, slapping asses “we fucking rocked,” he came home to make sure it was worthwhile for everyone – not just your shit-sucking 1980s rehash of tired concepts and recycled attitudes. Get with the times and get behind a real cause. I get it – you want to say something. But people don’t want to hear it – not because it runs contrary to SHEEPLE’S hard-wired HATE-FILLED BELIEF SYSTEMZ but because you just aren’t very good at it; bunch of fucking try-hards with no actual grip on reality – such that you can’t even tell when it’s time to pack it up and quit. No, don’t stop playing shitty music! THAT’S WHAT THE MAN WANTS YOU TO DO! Go write a poem.