Chronicle editors to endure “hell gauntlet” of terrible writing

Hiring new writers

Payment: glory

Write for usHere at chronicle.su we don’t take credit for our work. It’s just a power thing. When hundreds of thousands of people – or millions – from all over the world believe something simply because you wrote it at chronicle.su, dear God, you’ll never get over it.

If you can write anywhere above an 11th grade level, and I mean a “smart” 11th grade writing level, then we’re offering you a cut of that power, and credit for your work if you desire (but I wouldn’t advise it). For how long? We’re not sure. Something like a month in your own guaranteed spot and potentially longer if you’re good, even indefinitely. Also you’ll receive a free chronicle.su t-shirt, made in a real-life sweatshop as seen on TV.

It does not matter what you write, because if it’s good you’ll know it and so will we. Don’t be afraid of writing tripe, even though we will ridicule it. Tripe is useful here at chronicle.su and you may have a talent you didn’t even know you had; ideally, a talent for shit material that is so weird it’s funny. Write anything.

One thing I want to emphasize is we truly do not give a fuck.

Submit your reports below. Copy and paste it or whatever. Format can suck and that’s okay. If you wish to include pictures, screw that form and email the whole thing to [email protected]

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