Every day Lebal Drocer kills upwards of thousands of baby seals to harvest their patented eye lubricants needed to operate our Soviet-era hosting equipment. As a result, we can subsidize truth in a way that is most convenient to you, the consumer. Baby seal eye lubricants enable us to pander to your pseudo-patriotic craving to live as obtrusively and destructively as your black hearts desire. Every day.
At Lebal Drocer, we care about you, not the environment. Which is why we stop at nothing – nothing – to earn your trust and your dollars.
We’re a solutions people, in the business of solving your problems. Our Fearless Leader once said, “Death solves all problems – no man, no problem.” What Mr. Stalin probably meant by that is if you aren’t making this oligarchy money, then you must be aiding another. Don’t catch yourself under the cold, lead foot of indiscriminate Communism. Support Lebal Drocer in our glorious cause, Man’s Dominance over Nature in the face of unabashed ignorance by choice, YOUR choice, and that’s a freedom that not even the government can take away from you. But we will. As we say here at Lebal Drocer Incorporated:
The Lebal Drocer Wayve – you’ll catch us like a disease, but then, you’ll love it because it’s all you get.