Dearest Akon Invincible, my dark African prince and life mentor,
It has come to my attention that Chronicles SU is spreading contaminated lies, may your soul rest in perfect peace. Certainly, you may never die. Your fan, Odusanya Babafemi, posted a supportive message for you, “una de ment for una head una no they think before una go open that una smelling mouth dey talk rubbish, e bi like say they establish this site from sudan because hey just they give us lie wey no get life at all as una lie baba god don vex for the rubbish wey una right his night.” The community of the internet agrees Chronicles SU should be abolished.
Your fans are glad you are alive, although there are still hundreds of villages in Africa that have not been informed that the news of your death was actually just a hoax. Akon Invincible African Prince, we are writing you to request funds to spread the message that you have returned from the dead to these remote villages. We need several million dollars to ensure that the message reaches each and every person affected by this hoax. We also hope to spread the gift of your music by setting up solar panels and distributing MP3 players preloaded with nothing but music from Konvict records.
We your fans are completely devoted to the future well-being of your top singing career, oh Jewel of Africa
With much love and gratitude,
May the almighty guide you and protect your family.