Andrew Breitbart is gay

“I’m going to indulge in my all ’80s Depeche Mode, Cure, New Order fetish and we’re going to have a big ‘ol gay party at CPAC.” ~Andrew Breitbart

Anonymous sources close to Andrew Breitbart have revealed Breitbart is in fact a closet homosexual. “I’ve slept with Breitbart before,” said one source, “and he’s quite a vigorous power-bottom.” Although Breitbart has militantly defended his sexuality, another source told us “he despises sleeping with his wife.”

Notice Breitbart's long hair and unshaven face, sure signs of homosexual tendencies.

Breitbart is a member of GOProud, a conservative gay group which in Breitbart’s own words aims to “defy the left’s stifling demand for group conformity.” In fact, Breitbart supports the end of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in the military and lobbies to legalize gay marriage.

Breitbart recently orchestrated the political assassination of Anthony Weiner by repeatedly posting x-rated photographs of Weiner’s genitalia. Breitbart’s fixation on Anthony Weiner’s penis has led to scrutiny from his conservative backers, as if his San Francisco lisp and lib haircut was not enough evidence.

“He’s a deeply torn man. After we made love one night, he fell apart. He cried in my arms for hours, lamenting what he was doing to the Democratic party – especially what he did to ‘that sexy Anthony Weiner.’ For some reason, he keeps up this tough guy front like he’s some kind of conservative badass. It’s all just a show.” ~ Anonymous

10 comments to Andrew Breitbart is gay

  • will smith

    Jeff- Is your anger really confusing you that much? You take a joke quote and pick it apart like a maniac. NO WAY HE WOULD SAY THAT, NO WAY. Everyone else realizes its a joke. Calm down. Your picture looks like you are about to kill a man.

  • Jeff

    “…lamenting what he was doing to the Democratic party.” — are you kidding me? He would never lament the self-destruction of the democrat orginazation, even if he had a hand in it. He’s stated that he simply has had enough of the democrats’ hypocrisy, indecency, bigotry, and defamation. That party is full of hate-filled egomaniacs that always think they’re the smartest guys in the room. And they accuse their opponents of all the very nasty things that they do themselves, in a dishonest and shameful attempt to claim authority over everybody else. Breitbart could evoke many reactions, but he would never shed a tear for the democrats. Nor would I.

  • Statplot

    So Andrew Breitbart has four kids. That means he’s had sex at least four times with a woman. But men can’t have children. You do the math.

  • So if he likes to go down on men does that make him a bad person? You homophobic? You do know what that means right? If not watch the movie American Beauty,

  • I want to touch Breitbart’s Weiner.