Back To The Super Bowl

NBC looked itself in the mirror today and decided, “Oh, what the heck,” let’s try to build some drama with some women with their hair all did and make people care about this game.

It’s going on all over the whole arena anyway. Something about the coach’s retirement, but I’m just somewhere else at the moment.

Oh, sweet. Here’s an ad for Steeler’s merchandise. The meme continues. Everything about the presentation allows a method by which the viewer participants may pay psychological tribute to the whole spectacle by simply watching it. The broadcast’s themes seem to imply, “Watch me, and you are a part of this.”

Shots of the coaches with their classic Motorola headsets on. Mike of the Steelers and Tom of the Cardinals.

Okay, so here we get into the nitty gritty. Kickoff is about to go down.

Wow, so I had to deal with some serious technical difficulties there. The stream died off. Go figure. I’m getting back into this around the 6:46 P.M. EST. The Cardinals offense are introducing themselves in little head boxes in the bottom left quadrant.

Some of these tackles amazingly intense. Famously, people have died playing this game. I don’t mean to seem like a weiner. In grade school, it felt good to have that sense of concussion, the headache, the internal bruising.

You know, what pisses me off about the Super Bowl is the constant commercialization. Mmm, this Red Hook tastes so good.

Just saw an ad for the Fast and The Furious. I think I am seeing a pattern here.

Here’s an for Will Ferrell’s new movie. In it, he essentially becomes an adventuring time traveler in “Land of the Lost,” one of those great old films from my childhood. Where was he when Confederacy of Dunces needed justice?

GoDaddy is making its well known softcore/penetration-less Internet broadcast abilities known. Swell.

Oh, and here’s the athletes themselves. Cue dramatic orchestral music. It’s the real deal.

Doesn’t it seem like Pepsi has been doing these alternative guilt-free, dignity-preserving sodas for a long time. I mean, first there was Tom Green doing the Zero commercials. Er, yeah, but that was Coke. All the same, it was a Super Bowl meme.

Looks like Budweiser is trying to get away with calling itself The Great American Lager while selling itself to InBev, a Belgian company. Oh, and there’s the Bud Light ad. If I really wanted swill, I’d just open up the D.C. water supply unfiltered. Makes you think about that old SNL ad with Bill Murray talking about the quality of Midwestern lake runoff and pollution content.

Oh, look! Another beautiful beer horse! He haw! He likes wheat, too! Aw, the horses are in love. You wouldn’t believe the size of a Zebra’s penis, all long as a half meter or more, it seems. I saw it at the zoo. Think that’s obscene? You should turn on NBC right now.

Ah, an ad for the new Star Trek film. I really want to see Spock get into his awesome hand ot hand combat in this next one. “It looks incredible,” says Michael, sitting next to me.

Budweiser is asking you to drink responsibly; a car ad follows it.

The game returns.

Pittsburgh has already scored a touchdown and made the field goal.

Matt Leinart, the backup quarterback, won the Heisman trophy. Random trivia. It’s hard to make myself really know which section of the history to get into. “He won it as a Junior in College,” so says Michael, but I really don’t know much about the game sometimes.

I wish they would air the audio from these things. The only time football on television is actually compelling is like when its on HBO Real Sports. If you can’t hear the content of what they say to each other, you really don’t understand the game.

Michael disagrees. Hopefully, he will be driven to become a columnist here soon.

What can I say? I like the visceral experience one can easily associate with this whole experience. It’s amazing the way the Cardinal offense is working around 7:19 p.m., the way that they fight for every single yard.

Ref calls a flag.