CGI Child Porn epidemic sweeps Internet, NSA clamps down

Images of unbelievable tentacle sexual violence against children have long been a standard motif in the cartoon porn industry, but now super-real CGI child rape porn has the NSA grabbing more power than ever thought possible.

Images of unbelievable tentacle sexual violence against children have long been a standard motif in the cartoon porn industry, but now super-real CGI child rape porn has the NSA grabbing more power than ever thought possible.

INTERNET – The NSA held a press conference Friday, sending a stern warning to Congress about a new epidemic of computer generated child porn. “Because no children are harmed in the making of a computer generated video,” said a masked NSA spokesperson, “it does not therefore mean children will not be indirectly harmed by these videos.”

The NSA spokesperson repeatedly quoted serial killer Ted Bundy throughout the terrifying conference. He said, “Perhaps Ted Bundy said it best when he said, ‘I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Until you reach a point where the pornography only goes so far … where you begin to wonder if maybe actually doing it would give that which is beyond just reading it or looking at it.’ Here at the NSA, we believe this type of CGI porn is, as Ted Bundy once warned, going to send kids ‘down the road to being Ted Bundys.’”

“The CGI child porn is so widespread,” said the spokesperson, “that it is watched more than any other kind of porn and now comprises 40 percent of all porn viewed on the entire Internet.” During a slideshow at the press conference, the room fell deadly silent as stills from CGI child porn were shown (with ersatz genitals and prepubescent female chests fully censored). These images included scenes where orc-like monsters and wolves, rendered with the same reality as any creature in “Twilight” or “Lord of the Rings,” raped perfectly real looking children with cartoonish expressions of anguish and fear.

“The NSA will now be using its hardware, which has been inserted into every major hub of the Internet, to remove this pernicious menace not only from the United States’ networks, but from the entire Internet,” declared the spokesperson, “and the NSA will not be fielding any questions at this time.”

7 comments to CGI Child Porn epidemic sweeps Internet, NSA clamps down

  • Paul

    One more thing.
    If someone wants a certain kind of porn.
    And they can get better quality and choose situation etc.
    And no actual girl or even adult female, or anyone has to be exploited.
    Nor does anyone have to do anything for real, for those other crazy type of “porn”

    How is that not better?
    I can tell you who it would be worst for, the people making real child porn, there goes most of their revenues, and the porn industry as far as performers. But as graphics get really realistic A woman could make royalties of her likeness.
    It is not nearly as easy to make a realistic or as beautiful face as nature can.

    Supreme Court last from what I read It can be child porn even if everyone involved is over 18. they wrote ‘If it is proven they meant to make it appear as child porn or claim or even suggest they are under 18 you can be found guilty and labeled a pedo, even if every model is over 18′. Paraphrased of course, my memory in not that good.

    ALSO A warning for anyone attending college:
    SERIOUSLY If you get caught viewing, possessing, distributing even adult porn, you will not only be kicked out, but could be charged and labelled a pedo.
    unsure if those schools have same protection as elementary and high schools.
    Or I have been in college and had high school aged classmates (minors).

    Also if you run a web site and don’t properly register with the web filtering companies, you can also have same problem, you must take necessary steps to make it as difficult or as unlikely as possible Minors are exposed, or can access too easily.
    He was getting dual credit both high school and college for same class. just one example.

  • Paul

    And they are planning ahead, with the advances in computer graphics, the differences get smaller and smaller. Right now they are 5 years or so away from what they fear now, in 10 it will surpass it.
    But like our thoughts are safe, should not our thoughts between you and a simulator be private, as the whole point is your experience, and unless it drives someone to commit crime, which sadly there are always those who do and ruin it for the rest.
    The only way I can spot the really advanced Computer graphics not even always sure, Is all the little random imperfections are missing, it looks too perfect.
    I have often seen Reenactments on Documentaries and think they are CGI and realize a bit later it is in fact real.

    My biggest question is why the NSA, does this affect national security?
    Do they really think this is that serious.
    Imagine how many more rapists or murderers they could catch with those funds. 10? or more per IDK? 3 months or year?
    Nut sure what % that would be, but if anyone can prevent rape it would be the NSA.
    If they wanted to monitor all phone calls, and I had guarantees, It wouldn’t be used against me for say, buying pot. I’d be all for it. I’d even pay an extra 5$ a month on my bill to fund it. But that’s the problem, they often go after suspected terrorist, and they end up with unrelated, sometimes possibly related, but unlikely related charges.

    If I knew I wouldn’t be charged with petty or unrelated crimes, I’d let them come by once a night and invite them in. But they can’t do that, the people on the ground assume you are guilty so will charge you with whatever they can. Just like in the military they DE-humanize their perceived or real enemy so it is easier for them to do their job, whether right or wrong at the time.

    I think people being raped and murdered should be more important to national security.
    So If NSA want to go after this kind of crime “I mean their obvious overall intent” to protect kids and promote safety in general, start with the terrible symptoms, (the rapists, kidnappers, and or murderers) then try to find a cure, if you only go for a cure you will lose more patients in process, and aren’t guaranteed to find a cure in any set time, to use medicine as a metaphor.