CGI Child Porn epidemic sweeps Internet, NSA clamps down

Images of unbelievable tentacle sexual violence against children have long been a standard motif in the cartoon porn industry, but now super-real CGI child rape porn has the NSA grabbing more power than ever thought possible.

Images of unbelievable tentacle sexual violence against children have long been a standard motif in the cartoon porn industry, but now super-real CGI child rape porn has the NSA grabbing more power than ever thought possible.

INTERNET – The NSA held a press conference Friday, sending a stern warning to Congress about a new epidemic of computer generated child porn. “Because no children are harmed in the making of a computer generated video,” said a masked NSA spokesperson, “it does not therefore mean children will not be indirectly harmed by these videos.”

The NSA spokesperson repeatedly quoted serial killer Ted Bundy throughout the terrifying conference. He said, “Perhaps Ted Bundy said it best when he said, ‘I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Until you reach a point where the pornography only goes so far … where you begin to wonder if maybe actually doing it would give that which is beyond just reading it or looking at it.’ Here at the NSA, we believe this type of CGI porn is, as Ted Bundy once warned, going to send kids ‘down the road to being Ted Bundys.’”

“The CGI child porn is so widespread,” said the spokesperson, “that it is watched more than any other kind of porn and now comprises 40 percent of all porn viewed on the entire Internet.” During a slideshow at the press conference, the room fell deadly silent as stills from CGI child porn were shown (with ersatz genitals and prepubescent female chests fully censored). These images included scenes where orc-like monsters and wolves, rendered with the same reality as any creature in “Twilight” or “Lord of the Rings,” raped perfectly real looking children with cartoonish expressions of anguish and fear.

“The NSA will now be using its hardware, which has been inserted into every major hub of the Internet, to remove this pernicious menace not only from the United States’ networks, but from the entire Internet,” declared the spokesperson, “and the NSA will not be fielding any questions at this time.”

7 comments to CGI Child Porn epidemic sweeps Internet, NSA clamps down

  • Paul

    I like small women, not underage women. Problem is how can you say how old a CGI is? ask many and get different answers. I once delivered pizza to a woman,She was not fully lit, so could only make out shape and I spoke before her and she didn’t respond verbally. she looked like 11-12 I talked to her in a polite tone you’d use for a child. She had a very strange smile, like she was about to laugh and confused at same time. I realized she was my age or older. I felt so embarrassed, I just said “I thought you…” she said don’t worry it happens all the time :)
    Its just Fantasy, 95%+ probably more of the time fantasy is a release, and lessens motivation to commit violent acts to satisfy. But i can’t deny there are some cases, where it is bad.
    Like any convicted sexual convictor cannot even legally look at non nude pictures of underage girls, while still legal for anyone not a proven sexual predator.
    I did not use the term sexual offender because its too broad, get caught having sex with Gf in your car by police, you are a sexual offender,
    just like If I punch someone I am a violent offender.

  • Anonymous

    Sounds like bullshit. 40% is basically impossible. Your talking about thousands of animating teams needed to produce the amount of porn to get that kind of views from the population. Also unless at least 20% (1 out of 5 people) are viewing cgi child porn at a rate of almost 5 times that of everyone else then that statement cannot be true. These statistics are wildly unlikely.

  • Arthur Pym

    If I should stumble upon some Scooby-Doo animated porn, which isn’t beyond the realms of possibility, would this be legal? Basically, how old is Velma? And, does this become irrelevant if Scooby gets involved?

  • secret agent x-23

    pixels don’t rape people; people rape people.