Curiosity Rover finds Fossil evidence of life on Mars

Here on Earth, the hole in the ozone layer is “bleaching” coral reefs, killing them in a process that turns them white.

HOUSTON, TEXAS – Tuesday, scientists at NASA were shocked by images of a Cnidarian fossil beamed from Mars. The Curiosity rover, which has been surveying an ancient riverbed, unearthed a bright white fossil which NASA’s exobiologists say appears similar to primordial coral reefs.

Coral reefs are formed by colonies of simple polymorphous invertebrates which lack organs. Angstrom H. Troubadour, spokesperson for the exobiology lab at Curiosity command, said, “This object could be anything from a piece of an ancient Martian coral reef to a previously undiscovered form of life.”

Other experts are critical of this announcement, calling it “premature,” but Mr. Troubadour maintains that this is sure evidence of life on Mars, adding “The object may not even be fossilized. If that’s true, it’s an incredible find because it would contain much more organic material to analyze. It may even give us a profound insight into why life on Mars died out.”

This image, taken by the microscope on Curiosity, appears to be final proof of life on Mars.

Science has long held the probability of of extraterrestrial life to be incredibly high. This probability is so high, in fact, that this discovery does not come as any surprise to the community. Some churches, however, have already denied that this discovery could be possible. Pastor Fred Falwell of Liberty Baptist Church says, “Satan has placed this fossil, like other fossils on Earth, in order to deceive mankind and deny the truth of the Bible. There is nothing in Genesis about God creating life on Mars, so it is surely a deception of Lucifer.”

Despite some skepticism, this discovery has fired the imaginations of people worldwide, and some have even taken to the streets rejoicing in the fact that we are not alone. Environmentalists have taken this as an opportunity to preach about the frailty of life, and UFO enthusiasts have also hailed this discovery as evidence for their long-held beliefs.

The microscopic apparatus of Curiosity examines the Coral’s skeleton in detail.

66 comments to Curiosity Rover finds Fossil evidence of life on Mars

  • Mitt Romney

    “If I’m elected I will cancel this program, along with Sesame Street!

  • Symond Romper Room

    I blame the French Hammerskins.

    • Rollo

      I blame Symond and his ball gag, assless bleachers, and latex polo

      • Punky Wooster

        YAY! Symond’s cousin’s uncle’s neighbor’s dog’s ex-master’s father-in-law that might possibly be Irish found a fossil! Let’s dance!

    • I'm the Gee See

      Symond is my Patsy Ya See, myeah myeah ya see…I’m the Gee. Do you want I should take those groceries out to your car for you maam?

    • Fawad

      I can drawd a poster of the Mars with a black sharpie and hang it on my door.

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  • Jon

    A truly religious man must know that God is capable of creating life anywhere he so chooses, and if he chooses Mars so be it. The Bible is a wonderful religious text, a guide for a Christlike life, it is not Scientific textbook and was never meant to be. The Church called Galileo a blasphemer for saying the earth revolved around the sun, not vice-versa. I am a Christian and fully believe there is life out there in the grand universe God Created. I am not so arrogant as to believe that God only created me. How short sited and ultimately unbelieving in the omnipotence of God to say he only created life on Earth. Who am I to tell God what he can or cannot do? The Pastor Fred Falwell should spend a little more time seeing the Hand of God in all things and a little less time worried about what the Devil may or may not do.

    Was/is there life on Mars, maybe. Is there life elsewhere in the Universe, you can bet on it.

  • Adamantus

    Lets not discount the possibility that the pastor quote isn’t real at all but is put there by atheists to make people feel superior.

    • tom stout

      stfu… that is a dumb statement… you KNOW everything you read on the interwebs is the truth… besides, if an atheist DID use a bit of untruthful propaganda, how would that differ from what christians have done since the beginnings of the religion?