Giorgio Tsoukalos Dead at age 34

I'm not saying he's dead...

“I devour the Universe and its essence!” ~ Giorgio Tsoukalos

Athens– Fans mourn the loss of Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, the Ancient Alien Theorist better known by his Ancient Annunaki name, ‘Γεώργιος Α. Τσούκαλος,’ who died early Saturday morning at his home in Athens.

Tsoukalos was pronounced dead at 2:42 a.m. GST. Cause of death was listed as “Multiple grievous wounds,” He was 34.

No foul play was suspected in his death. Tsoukalos is survived by seven ex-wives and twelve children.

Because no will was entered into the public record, Tsoukalos’ charity for the development of a space elevator will dissolve.

The Tsoukalos Estate, a multi-trillion dollar international religion, is to be turned over to his next of kin.

Giorgio Tsoukalos rose as a leader in the US government’s top-secret Project Blue Beam, which plans to ensnare the entire world in a new space cult founded on Ancient Alien Theories. The Ancient Alien TV show recently came under fire after documents Anonymous revealed from Stratfor showed that the History Channel was paid directly from the Bohemian Grove Trust Fund in exchange for more Ancient Aliens. Ancient Alien Theorist Theorists now believe Giorgio Tsoukalos will become the leader of a new world religion which will dominate earth after HAARP fires off a worldwide auroral light show on December 21, 2012. This date, of course, was chosen by the government because of its mystical significance to Native Americans and television addicts.

88 comments to Giorgio Tsoukalos Dead at age 34