Giorgio Tsoukalos Dead at age 34

tsoukalosaliens 300x300 Giorgio Tsoukalos Dead at age 34

I'm not saying he's dead...

“I devour the Universe and its essence!” ~ Giorgio Tsoukalos

Athens– Fans mourn the loss of Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, the Ancient Alien Theorist better known by his Ancient Annunaki name, ‘Γεώργιος Α. Τσούκαλος,’ who died early Saturday morning at his home in Athens.

Tsoukalos was pronounced dead at 2:42 a.m. GST. Cause of death was listed as “Multiple grievous wounds,” He was 34.

No foul play was suspected in his death. Tsoukalos is survived by seven ex-wives and twelve children.

Because no will was entered into the public record, Tsoukalos’ charity for the development of a space elevator will dissolve.

The Tsoukalos Estate, a multi-trillion dollar international religion, is to be turned over to his next of kin.

Giorgio Tsoukalos rose as a leader in the US government’s top-secret Project Blue Beam, which plans to ensnare the entire world in a new space cult founded on Ancient Alien Theories. The Ancient Alien TV show recently came under fire after documents Anonymous revealed from Stratfor showed that the History Channel was paid directly from the Bohemian Grove Trust Fund in exchange for more Ancient Aliens. Ancient Alien Theorist Theorists now believe Giorgio Tsoukalos will become the leader of a new world religion which will dominate earth after HAARP fires off a worldwide auroral light show on December 21, 2012. This date, of course, was chosen by the government because of its mystical significance to Native Americans and television addicts.

88 comments to Giorgio Tsoukalos Dead at age 34

  • Anonymous

    Are you people serious? His great teachings?
    The guy barely graduated college as a sports writer and no he’s not dead you bunch of morons. It’s called satirical writing. A ruse. The writer wrote this to see how many morans he could get on his bus before he pushed it off the cliff. Drink the kool aid, go ahead its really ok. Lol

    • JustMe

      I know, huh? The article is clearly dripping with “Not really” hints. Someone 12 days ago said she was sobbing while leaving the library when she *found out*.


    • Anonymous

      you call people morons and you don’t even know how to spell the word. it’s not moran… is MORON you fucking idiot.

  • Realist

    THIS IS A BOGUS WEBSITE. He is NOT dead! I can’t believe how lame and stupid people are to put up such mindless drivel thinking it will make them feel cool and significant! It’s probably some 45 year old morbidly obese balding freak who still lives with his mother in a hoarders nightmare of a house with 150+ cats who picks his nose and eats it!

    • JustMe

      Such hatred. Satire is not lying, it’s satire. People with no sense of humor are not trustworthy. Never trust someone who cannot recognize nuance or crack a smile at obvious harmless jokes.

  • Nora Cordero

    Ilove Ggiougio Tsoukalos for years now , me and my husband both.He is highly intelligent and a Master in teaching , explains very well and mesmerizing in his style to convey his messages.

    I went to the public library today and for sometime now wanted to learn more about him such as his books , writings and age but get sidetracked. I could not believe he is dead. I was sobbing whe I left the library .

    Is it really true ? I hope this is just a dream or maybe i am in parallel universe.

    Everytime a good guy comes around , there gone. Acient Aliens is the greatest show on TV along with his colleagues especially ERICK VON Danikien.

  • Star Child

    What makes you guys think we are ALONE? The multiverse must be teeming with different lifeforms; some not as WE know it.

    Give the dude some credit for his daring imagination coupled with science’s shortfalls I think he shouldn’t be dismissed as a crackpot!!!!!

  • Walker

    how do you die of mutiple grevious wounds and no one suspects foul play?

    • > how do you die of multiple grevious wounds and no one suspects foul play?

      Just look at this cool flashy pen thing, and I’ll explain everything shortly.