I am the true leader of Anonymous

Ever since the very beginning of Chronicle.SU, I have secretly issued coded orders to the highest level of Anonymous leadership. Every single article I’ve written is filled with coded messages that only they will ever decode. Every image, fake ad and hidden detail of this site is loaded with directives which have been implemented perfectly.

Through my campaigns of hatred towards the peons of Anonymous I have mobilized and educated the masses. LulzSec? My brainchild. AntiSec? My invention. I created them by giving the larger Anonymous collective criticism which they immediately went out of the way to disprove. I mocked their pitiful public relations and out sprung LulzSec. I belittled them for their pitiful fear of government servers. AntiSec was born. All the while, I fed covert and specific instructions without having to use the horribly infiltrated IRC. Excuse me for my genius.

But now those within Anonymous who I have directly led are being investigated and may already be V&. I’ve received information from my mole in the FBI that one of them was bribed and outed me. The feds are closing in and even I will soon be V&. However, not all is lost. I have hacked Barack Obama’s e-mails and will soon be leaking world-shattering information. Here’s a teaser: Extra terrestrials are real, and they are going to force us to spark a nuclear war so they can inherit the planet. Of course that’s not true, but you know what to do Sabu, Topiary and Kayla. The die has been cast.

Oh, and one final mind-fuck for you all before you decide to ignore me: I’m th3j35t3r. I’ve been holding back this bombshell since I came up with the character last year. My purpose should be fairly clear if you understand my methods. By creating such an uncool conservative n00b of a hacker celebrity, I’ve ensured a more liberal agenda within Anonymous. Hacking is cool, the j35t3r is not, and now Anonymous is extremely socialist. Long live Che.

7 comments to I am the true leader of Anonymous

  • fa7her

    this is epic

  • I am so tired of this shit. You sorry fuckers and your bullshit opinions. Barrett Brown is my leader fucker, he devotes all of his free time to snorting crack off the backs of 13 yr old toothless filipino hookers. but when he isnt doing that he is trying to get lawyers for the anons who got snatched up. instead of posting as something your not and being a nigger why dont you join us and support our cause and ddos something. we are anonymous, we are legion, expect us

  • Shadownigger Shrubfucker

    http://www.kevinislaughter.com/wp-content/uploads/2083+-+A+European+Declaration+of+Independence.pdf

    Today’s literary field is therefore worth examining for the insights it provides into our
    current cultural milieu. The contemporary Western European and American literary field is
    awash in “isms:” Marxism, Freudianism, feminism, and so on. Most of these are the
    academic cousins of what is called in the common culture “Political Correctness.” Literary
    theorists take their particular brand of criticism and apply it to literature in an effort to
    find self-affirmation in a “discovered” meaning of the text. For a feminist critic, for
    example, no longer does Andrew Marvel’s “Upon Appleton House” have the beauty of the
    grounds as its theme; it speaks instead of the evils of a patriarchal line of inheritance.
    These “cultural critics,” so named because they critique literature based on the point of
    view of a particular culture, arose in the 1960s, but their schools of criticism only truly
    began to pick up steam with the arrival of the school of deconstruction in the 1970s.

  • I smelled this out months ago.

    inb4declaration

  • liar

    the part about jester was funny
    as for the rest
    not so much