Joseph Kony killed by crowd-funded assassins

kony1 300x218 Joseph Kony killed by crowd funded assassins

Joseph Kony is now dead, but assassins sent by the Internet say killing him “felt wrong.”

INTERNET — Joseph Kony, famed general of genocidal child armies and Internet super villain, was hunted down and killed by a team of assassins who funded their mission with crowd-sourcing after an anti-Kony video went viral last year. However, the team of killers have expressed mixed feelings and even regret at carrying out the Internet’s mission of ruthless vengeance.

After the anti-Kony video, Kony 2012, became the most viral video ever, many concerns were raised about its accuracy. Skeptics quickly debunked the claim that Kony was still roving Africa with murderous child armies. Now, some are questioning the one dimensional and inhuman portrait of Kony which stands in stark contrast with reports of assassins who spoke with the aging and defenseless Kony before acting out the Internet’s lucrative vengeance. One assassin, who wished to remain Anonymous, said the kill team found Kony living in quiet retirement, and said, “His exile was mostly self-imposed. He could have continued his raping and pillaging, but he was repentant. We found him living the life of a religious ascetic, and he gladly allowed us to kill him, fully understanding his death would not atone for the great atrocities of his life. He fixed us dinner, and we had thoughts of sparing him, but we all knew that the Internet would send a kill team for us, if word were to get out that we spared Kony.”

6 comments to Joseph Kony killed by crowd-funded assassins

  • Jesse Alan Long

    Black-Prudly-kill-Da-Whitey, first of all, there are only a few differences between you and other racist, bigoted, immature, judgmental, hypocritical, arrogant, prideful, narcissistic, tyrannical, dictatorial, despotic, power-mad, power-mongering, power-tripping, egotistical, egoistical, megalomaniacal, and elitist jerks that you seem to hate in your life. Those differences are the color of your skin, your general appearance, the symbols that you use, the colors of the symbols that you use, and the signs that you use in the promotion of your dumbass, bumble fuck movement. The rest of you might as well be like the people in numerous Muslim nations that have a bone to grind with the Christians and Jews and the other people that promote other dumb fuck movements like the Aryan Nation, the Ku Klux Klan, neo-Nazism, the Nation of Islam, the Black Panthers/New Black Panthers, La Raza, the American Indian Movement, and countless other similar movements that are out there that are aligned with such wonderful people like Communists, Socialists, Fascists, Nationalists, humanists/secular humanists/secularists, and other religions and religions that are posing as anti-religions. Second, you poor, uneducated, stupid mother fucker, LONG before the so-called “white” people began to appear, let alone people from the Middle East and elsewhere, you had other nations that lived (and still live in some cases) in your part of the world and they captured and enslaved people all the time, too. The Native Americans in the Americas were no different and if you or they say otherwise, then you are honestly speaking a lot of bullshit, so please do the world a favor and politely have a cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP about your racist diatribe and your blaming the so-called “white” people about your own damn problems that you are too hateful, bigoted, arrogant, prideful, judgmental, hypocritical, stupid, narrow-minded, closed-minded, small-minded, short-sighted, elitist, non-innovative, and lazy as all fuck to fix in your own life, you stupid, dim-witted, cock-gobbling son of a bitch! The same thing also applies to people of your skin tones, your appearances, and the like, too, А́нна Васи́льевна Кущенко and Dave. The New World Order is calling the shots and racetards like yourselves are their foot soldiers, regardless of whether you can recognize it or not in your lives. You Three Stooges can go have some nice lives now, okay? You are welcome.

    Finally, as for the Anonymous that said, “Regardless of the color of skin, people kill people and the only person to blame is those who make the decision to kill,” and “We are all equals,” you are about the only one that even remotely gets the picture on this story. However, you should replace the word “kill” with the word “murder” as killing is NOT wrong because it implies that you have to take a jerk weed down and murdering someone IS wrong because it is not caring for someone and their lives, let alone life itself, so I figured that you needed to correct that small error, okay? Thank you.