Military Meltdown Monday more of a Three Mile Island

Today Anonymous leaked Pentagon e-mail passwords from Booz Allen in a torrent file called Military Meltdown Monday. While nothing has been revealed yet, the massive leak of 90,000 email passwords will perhaps lead to the release of some sensitive information. Hacker leader Sabu told followers to “use their imagination” in order to realize what this leak actually means.

The government has initiated torrent killing software that is heavily constricting the propagation of the Military Meltdown Monday torrent. My transfer rate immediately shot from 500kbps to 20 and is now resting at 5. The prepared press release by the Pentagon declaring martial law on the Internet is being reviewed by Obama, and he will most likely sign it through. This will be similar to the Internet shutdowns during the Arab Spring, and less like the Great Firewall of China.

China has access to everything Anonymous does and more. In fact, should we ever attempt to go to war with China, they’d just turn off all our spy satellites and intelligence networks with the push of a button. So actually, we can thank Anonymous for highlighting this gaping security hole that China has certainly been violating for years now.

I would report on the contents of the torrent, but my transfer rate has now sunk to .5kbps even though I am connected to over 50 peers. Peerblock is currently overflowing with government agencies and I am afraid that downloading this torrent is an act of espionage, even though I’m only interested in reporting on any juicy conspiracies that might be the next COIN/ROMAS so I can finally beat Barrett Brown and become the new leader of Anonymous.

th3j35t3r has not made comment but he’ll be pissed as soon as he finds out, and release some more d0x and threaten to hack some shit. Oh damn, torrent’s almost done downloading now that I’ve nixed the pointless emails (like I’d fuck with that shit anyway) and I hope there are some sexy pics in here like Chinga La Migra always has.

6 comments to Military Meltdown Monday more of a Three Mile Island

  • sp00k

    Ya stick to writing the light and fluffy shit liek this hun….

    • John Stamos

      wow. at least my criticism of the elfags had substance. you’re just a pure bred hater.

    • Kilgore Trout is back, motherfuckers

      One of you wants me to go hard. One of you wants me to go soft. You guys duke it out and whoever wins the argument will determine the paradigm I write from.

      • John Stamos

        fuck it idc what you do. i’m burn one more spliff, when i get back, surprise me. i wanna see old kilgore come back to life

    • BarrettBrownLOL

      This shit is bullshit. I hate Kilgore. He makes me mad. I wish I could sleep with Boxxy like he did.

  • Conspiracy theory

    ha