Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the Token Public Intellectual Rage Comic Character

Let’s face the facts if we’re going to be a bunch of rational Scientist Atheist fanboys, okay? Neil DeGrasse Tyson is no Carl Sagan or Slavoj Žižek.  I’m a cultural critic now, because I watch a lot of Slavoj Žižek, so I’m going to “deconstruct” the hell out of this situation for ya.

I know this is stinking disgusting, hell, it’s racist of me to say this, but it has to be said. White Guilt is the biggest reason Neil Degrasse Tyson has become an internet celebrity rage comic source for Athiest hardons.

Hell, White Guilt is the biggest reason Obama got elected. You won’t see me over with the “Birthers” tellin’ you Neil Tyson’s some kind of a Manchurian candidate raised to this holy pulpit of Scientific-Atheist-Hero-Myth-Religion by the Muslim-Satan-BLUEBEAM-AncientAlien-Agenda, but I will tell ya this. He’s not famous for being smart. Okay, well, he is famous for being relatively “smart,” but we can’t even begin to put him in the same room as Sagan, Žižek, or even that Anarchist Bastard Occupy Cultist Chomsky.

Carl Sagan’s central role and massive contribution to “Space Science” cannot be overlooked.

Sagan was Dir. of the Laboratory for Planetary Studies and David Duncan Prof. of Astronomy and Space Sciences at Cornell University. He played a leading role in the Mariner, Viking and Voyager expeditions to the planets and was a recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for literature. He died in 1996.

Slavoj Žižek stands on equally “hollowed” ground, and is even compared to Jacques Derrida on “WikiPedia!”

He has made contributions to political theory, film theory and theoretical psychoanalysis. “One of the world’s best known public intellectuals” according to John Gray[2], it has been said that “Žižek is to today what Jacques Derrida was to the 80s: the thinker of choice for Europe’s young intellectual vanguard”.

So what contributions, what great scientific advancements, what major accomplishment is Neil DeGrasse Tyson known for most?

As director of the Hayden Planetarium, Tyson bucked traditional thinking in order to keep Pluto from being referred to as the ninth planet in exhibits at the center…this decision has resulted in large amounts of hate mail, much of it from children.

Every time the following glyph is posted to the Internet, Black Tinkerbell loses her wings. But that’s right! Faeries are rarely Black except in fanart. Oh there I go mentioning the race thing again. Wouldn’t it be better if no one ever talked about the undercurrent of racism so it would just disappear from your sweet insulated whitebread suburban internet life?

whiteguilt Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the Token Public Intellectual Rage Comic Character

This is actually the best reason to hate Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Look at how his skin is white here, even though his clearly African features have actually been emphasized by the graphic artist. Freddie Mercury’s rageface is blacker than this (because he’s gay).

Yes, you are dealing with a badass over here. Why doesn’t the Internet understand Tyson is “apart” of the bottom-tier of Public Intellectuals?! He says a few things about Atheists, and all the Atheists who have never even CONSIDERED serious theology or philosophy turn him into some substitute holy man. All hail Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the guy who took Pluto out of our Planetariums!!!1 Bitch, we want MORE planets, not less! Can’t you understand this!? I’d LOVE to have 1,000 planets. WTF is an exoplanet? As if Pluto’s somehow not a part of our god damn Sun’s Timespace Gravitywell. Sheesh! Get outta my Rage Comics, I hate ‘em enough already!

16 comments to Neil DeGrasse Tyson, the Token Public Intellectual Rage Comic Character

  • SHITHAPPENS

    John doesn’t write that well…troll harder!

  • beefrave

    hey guys anyone got neal degrasse tyson anus closeups i need to jerk it

    • waht rangea

      Go back in my history. I’ve encouraged people not to quote NDT here.
      You sound like a case study in confirmation bias… but then again, we all are, aren’t we.
      NDT is quoted too much but your conclusions are trash, do a better job.

    • i never wrote that,. but i do need em.

  • John Thiessen

    I couldn’t disagree more strongly. Carl Sagan was, without question, an amazing mind with astounding accolades. That’s fine.
    He was also an amazing science communicator and that in that capacity he left his mark on a group of people that know him only for that. When he passed, this subset of people for knew him for all the wrong reasons according to you noticed his absence.
    If your expectation is that NDT isn’t good enough for that role, too fucking bad. He has made his mark on his merits alone and his ability to communicate his ideas and his ability to inspire and those people who only know him for that will miss him. It doesn’t matter if there are scientists with better accolades, they clearly have not left the same mark.
    If it’s a coincidence… so be it. Tough shit, lots of great minds go unnoticed. If you don’t like it, work to raise their stature or understand why they go unnoticed. But, I just don’t think you even came close to making your case that NDT doesn’t deserve it. You didn’t address what he has achieved at all.

  • white ranger

    tysom jus ta punkass house-nigga for white jewish manhattenites.

    • Kilgoar

      i left this out but i should have taken him out for coining the phrase manhattenhenge to describe manhattan at sundown and sunrise.

  • xenu, the neuromancer

    agreed on all counts