New FaceFuck app turns facebook into a porn site

FaceFuck allows you to find lookalike pornstars by integrating with your friends on facebook

FaceFuck allows you to find lookalike pornstars by integrating with your friends on facebook

INTERNET — The new FaceFuck porn app allows you to link your Facebook friends into a database of lookalike pornstars and stream from a database of over ten million videos for $2.99 a month. FaceFuck chief executive Peter L. Hayman explained the process excitedly, saying, “We’ve known for a long time that we’re sitting on a goldmine of nearly infinite porn, but there’s never been a good way to find just what your dick needs except by luck or hours of study. That type of browsing is totally obsolete with FaceFuck, where finding just the right porn stars for your fantasies is as easy as surfing Facebook. Once you install FaceFuck, all you need to do is click on that special someone who’s got you horny and FaceFuck will take you straight to a plethora of lookalikes in every position you could imagine.”

Mark Zuckerborg, founder and creator of Facebook, threatened to sue Peter L. Hayman, saying, “Facebook has always been a family-oriented operation and Peter Hayman’s earned himself a lifetime ban.”

Popular feminist voices issued stern warnings that FaceFuck would encourage the male gaze and, in the words of Lauralie Penny, “Deepen rape culture to levels which will trigger historic dialectical forces which necessitate a violent revolution for women’s rights.” She quickly deleted the tweet, but not before trolls took to the previously ironic #killallmen hashtag and issued their disgust at such oppressive and silencing speech that made them fear for their very right to exist.

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